She won't tell me to FOAD and she won't say goobye

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by dm, Oct 21, 2009.

  1. dm

    dm New Member

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    She won't tell me to FOAD and she won't say goodbye

    Had a blowout with my married girlfriend a couple of years ago. She's in a screwed up marriage. Bad one but she hangs on for the sake of her two kids.

    I got fed up with the entire deal and broke up with her. I hurt her pretty badly when I did it.. Then about 6 months later we started talking but only contact was by email or IM. No phone contact or contact in person at all. She told me she forgave me and still loved me and would aways love me. She went into the hospital for a minor surgery but since she was scared to death I was worried for her.

    She tells everyone she is OK but me. then disappears. Then for months posts photos and song lyrics to me at another forum which theme is that we will be together again. My birthday comes around I email her some photos taken with my famuily and friends. Not a word -- NADA.

    Someone posted some nasty message to someone on a forum which she knew I might take as coming from her. She leaves a message that she didn;t do it. Why would she care. If she was disappearing, why bother? Still she won't talk to me on phone or see me in person. Then blam - she just freaking disappears off of the face of the earth.

    No FOAD or goodbye nothing.......

    I asked her a few times why she didn't say goodbye or whatever, she told me she couldn't she loved me..

    I was sorry about what happened and I care about her but this game playing with messages on internet forums has really turned me off. i told her it owuld lead to misunderstandings and problems. I guess it did.


    Anyone got a clue why she just didnt tell me FOAD or goodbye? I can't figure it out. I wouldn't have been upset.
     
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2009
  2. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    foad ??????
     
  3. dm

    dm New Member

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    fuck off and die
     
  4. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Who knows, but she sounds like bad news.
     
  5. dm

    dm New Member

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    Maybe, I guess so. She is in a very bad marriage. Hubby mentally abuses her and has them thousands of dollars in debt. Nice kids. I know them both. She has a good job and is a good mom. Very stable and I trust her completely. She's beautiful but more of a stay at home read a book loner type. She's really unhappy.

    I only want what she wants and don't want to put any pressure on her. If she wanted me out of her life all she had to do was say goodbye, but she won't commuicate, won't say goodbye. just that she loves me. She was always really jealous and I don't undertand why - she's freaking beautiful. She could be a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. If anyone looked a the two of us they would say I was the jealous one. We got along very well, nice when we were together, sex was fantastic....... marathons......

    I dunno. It's a mystery to me. but I can't wait for her to make up her mind any longer.. really a shame because of all the women I have dated I honestly and truly liked her before I got furyher involved with her. I really liked her - she became my best friend. I do miss her though.
     
  6. Franco

    Franco New Member

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    She is married man. :ugh:

    cant you find a girl that is like um free? :hsugh:
     
  7. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    If I tell you to fuck off and die will that make you feel better?
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Because she has nothing else to live for and look forward to. Basically she's using the idea of you (a romantic relationship) to get through the motions of a shitty marriage.

    My advice? Cut yourself free from this girl for good. You are wasting sooooo much time by letting her sporadic attempts keep you around.
     
  9. dm

    dm New Member

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    I think I have explained that to you. Not all people who are in mariages are happy. Her husband doesn't give a damn about her and frankly doesn't care that we were dating. Probably has his own relationship outside of the marriage.



    Would that come with a cash bonus?


    I think you are right. I told her I was tired of the games and she became very angry.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 21, 2009
  10. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    She's just manipulating you to get what she wants. You should:

    Move rapidly away from her and not glance behind you as you go.
     
  11. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    she wont say goodbye so that she can appear back in your life whenever she feels she needs to. its not about your needs, its all about hers.
     
  12. TriPinTaZ

    TriPinTaZ !!!.!!!.!!!!.U.U.!!!!.U.! !!!! WTF?

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    Wait, your GF was married to someone else and had two kids?
     
  13. ...stimpy

    ...stimpy New Member

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    You answered the question in your last paragraph in your first paragraph.

    -tru story
     
  14. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    -tru story


    :ugh:

    REALLY?
     
  15. dm

    dm New Member

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    That seems to be a valid point. She is not a selfish girl by any means, just in a very bad marriage. I think sometimes she lives in a fantasy world inside her mind with me.

    I am soon to be moving and buying a home near the beach. I think she may have it in her mind she can then leave her husband and come with me once I do that. I think it shall be too late.
     
  16. dm

    dm New Member

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    she is married to someone else and has two kids. She is a very good mom and I know here kids. Nice well mannered kids, very well taken care of, but with slight emotional problems probably because of the fighting between mom and dad. It's very weird but her little girl asked her to send me her school pictures. talked to me on the phone frequently (which I felt bad about) and once drew a crayon picture of her, her mom and me living on a tropical island. Kind of creeped me out a bit because it gave me an insight into how bad her marriage was if a little 8 year old girl could generate such a drawing for someone other than her father.
     
  17. pbjsammich

    pbjsammich New Member

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    Woah, wait....so you've had contact with her kids as well? And where is the proof that this is such a bad marriage? Are you getting all the info directly from her?

    Sounds like she's manipulating you to believe whatever she wants you to believe. If the marriage was THAT bad, she would have left long ago. She's painting the image to keep you around for whatever reasons she might have.

    Stay away from her AND her kids. Give her an ultimatum. You are doing her and the kids no good by being around them.

    Kinda harsh, but it sounds like this girl is kind of a nutjob. What kind of married woman would bring her "boyfriend" around their kids?? Sounds like things have looked up in her marriage and she's cut you off completely. You need to stop all of this the next time she comes around and looks to you as an outlet.

    As someone else pointed out.....find a single girl with no kids....you will admire the lack of drama involved.
     
  18. Franco

    Franco New Member

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    Good luck being with an unhappy woman. Superman.
     
  19. dm

    dm New Member

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    Yes her marriage is that bad. He knows we were dating. Doesn't care and in some ways encouraged a relationship. He lived in one end of the house, she the other. I think at one time she was consdiering leaving him and jsut wanted how the kids would accept me. She often said she wished her little boy could hang out with me and that I would be good for him. He's a very smart kid, but he manipulates his dad, because he can.

    One time little girl was on the phone with me, wanted me to bake her brownies. So I sent her some Mrs. Field brownies with a stuffed animal. Kid was asleep. The dad saw the animal and was laughing aobut it. GF told him to ask her what the animals name was. He did. She had named it after me. He got pissed. GF laughed at him.

    I know after I broke up with her, she was hurt. Had some type of breakdown and said she went into counseling and kind of turned to religion. But for a long time she just kept this odd contact with me me..............saying she knew I loved her, she loved me and that that love would lead us back together.

    I never gave her ultimatiums. I can't do that and I won't. What lead me to break up with her, is the fact she had kids and as much as I cared about those two, I didn't want to hurt them. I had a little respect for them even though their father didn't and encourged her to pursue a relationship out of their marraige. I think he was doing so because he had something on the side. And another concern I had was because of the wussy he was I had concerns his relationship may not be with a woman.


    thanks all for answering. I'm just trying to figure out what is up with this one because after all I do care about her and her kids. I worry about the three of them. I know they are all haveing a tough time right now, emotionally and financially. I don't think much of her husband at all.
     
  20. dm

    dm New Member

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    She wasn't unhappy at all when we were together.
     
  21. Specialist23

    Specialist23 OT Supporter

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    sorry but that's a weak excuse for dating a married woman.
     
  22. Specialist23

    Specialist23 OT Supporter

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    then why aren't you two together?
     
  23. dm

    dm New Member

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    Not a weak excuse at all. It's a fact and it's not my excuse for dating her. She was dating me for those exact reasons. Is the fact that a married person has an affair or dates somone else a surprise to you when they are in an unhappy marriage or are being abused mentally or physically?
     
  24. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :uh:

    How long have you been "dating" this married woman? Or maybe I should ask how long you've been associating with her overall?
     
  25. dm

    dm New Member

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    well if I could answer that I wouldn't have started the thread looking to understand her perspective. Who knows what is going on in other people's minds Last words I heard from her is that she wasn't happy at all. So apparently she feels trapped in a loveless marriage that she wants to be free of.
     

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