She wants to be "chased"

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by HopasaurusRex, Oct 2, 2009.

  1. HopasaurusRex

    HopasaurusRex Okay, now what the fuck do you want?

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    And not around the bedroom. Well, maybe...

    I started dating this girl in the beginning of August. Things were awesome for the first month (perhaps hyper-accelerated, but awesome), then started to get weird, then I got the "I need to be by myself" speech.

    I have given this speech myself. I understand it. Sometimes it is necessary to be alone for a while to sort out your life. Before this girl, I had been in that phase myself for about ten months. However, I still overreacted because I really liked this one. I mean, really overreacted.

    We talked a few days ago and she said she really cares about me and wants things to be cool so that when she gets her shit together I won't be opposed to trying again. Sure, no problem. She says that she has always been the one to pursue guys and she wants it to be the other way around for a change.

    Now, I have always said that I won't chase girls. That if someone I'm into wants to be into me, then it's on like Donkey Kong, and if they want to make it difficult then they can exit stage left. This philosophy has led me into a series of relationships that were mostly enjoyable but that I was not particularly invested in and therefore ended up with me unhappy and ending things. So I think that pursuing someone I really want may be a good thing for me.

    The problem: I have no idea how to do this. I was a sappy romantic schmuck with my first gf eight years ago but after she turned out to be a psycho bitch I pretty much shut off that part of myself. Anything I can think of to "chase" this girl seems more or less sad and pathetic to me. So I'm throwing this out to the Vag. I need advice, suggestions, etc. for this situation.
     
  2. maybeitsyou

    maybeitsyou New Member

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    Why should either one of you chase each other if you guys both have establish interested with each other?
     
  3. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    Don't play games. If she is already playing them a month in, then it's only goinbg to get worse from here on in.

    She either likes you or she doesn't. It's not difficult for her to figure it out
     
  4. HopasaurusRex

    HopasaurusRex Okay, now what the fuck do you want?

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    Man, you guys really can't read, can you?
     
  5. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    Yes, I can read.

    She wants someone to pursue her. No one should say that. No one should make relationships a game or make a matter of who gets chased the most is the most worthy
     
  6. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    Who is asking for relationship advice on a forum? Don't try to act all high and mighty buddy. You aren't in a very strong position to do so
     
  7. HopasaurusRex

    HopasaurusRex Okay, now what the fuck do you want?

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    Let me see if I can clarify this, since my five paragraph initial post wasn't enough.

    I WANT to chase her. I have never actively pursued a woman I wanted in my life. I have been content to let things come to me and always ended up unhappy because the path of least resistance doesn't always produce optimum results.

    I am perfectly aware that this may be a completely stupid thing to do. I also think it has the potential to be good for me, if for no other reason than being a chance to explore relationships from a new angle.

    I did not ask for opinions on if this was a good idea, or if I should do it or not.
     
  8. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    You gotta love it when women give you the ole "Oh I need some space" followed by the "Oh I want someone to chase me for a change" speech. :rofl:

    It's like, make up your fucking mind.

    I think the bottom line of what she's telling you is this:

    She wants to be chased (but not by YOU, she wasnts YOU to give her some space). But on the off chance that nobody steps up, she wants you to keep yourself available to her (i.e. "when I get my shit together, I hope we can give it a shot").

    I think you're a fool for going after a girl this flakey, but I can tell by your replies that you aren't interested in the advice that's good for you. You just want validation for the decision you've already made.

    In that case, I'd say a good "chase" would be to play the same damn push/pull game she's playing with you. Call her up and schedule a date and then call the next day and cancel because something came up. Give her backended compliments. Make her think you are dating someone else, but when she gives you attention, let her think that she's caught you. Take her out on a date and then wait 3 days to call her.

    That shit. You wanna get with this girl, you're going to have to play the game, son.
     
  9. HopasaurusRex

    HopasaurusRex Okay, now what the fuck do you want?

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    So I have to make her think I'm dating someone else, or is actually doing that an option?

    Thanks for the honest advice. I know I'm a little crazy, but my life is boring enough right now to make playing ball seem like a good idea.
     
  10. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    :rofl::rofl::rofl:
     

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