SRS She said No....

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by tsi90, Oct 6, 2008.

  1. tsi90

    tsi90 _____

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    I asked her to marry me and well yeah like the title says.
    Ill fill in the long details later after I get home from work.

    I need some cheering up quick though... I haven't eaten in over a day. I tried but just makes me feel sick. right now im on the caffeine (morning) and alcohol (at night) diet
     
  2. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    she said "no, never" or "no, not now"?



    btw, nobody's going to be able to cheer you up. if she's for you then hang in there. but if you're not for her then, as painful as it is, you should get out.
     
  3. tsi90

    tsi90 _____

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    well I guess its kind of in between no never or just not now.

    here is a short summary.

    we had some bad times. nothing really that bad (no cheating or anything) and she even admits they werent really bad. but for some reason she cant get over it. Even though our relationship has been great for a while.

    she says she cant do it until she takes care of whatever her problem. I found out she has even gone to counselors over this.

    She came to the conclusion something is wrong in her head that the only way she could get over this was to just break up and hope that completely ending the relationship. Then getting back together after some amount of time starting a "new" relationship. Of course with the chance that during this break she will decide to just completely end it.

    It all sounds really weird to me but I believe what she is saying. I dont think she is just trying to mess with me. But at the same time Im just kind of stuck here by myself waiting...
     
  4. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    You are a chump if you believe what she is saying.

    What she told you is a load of shit.
     
  5. Mr. Pelham

    Mr. Pelham Guest

    fixed.
     
  6. DaFreak963

    DaFreak963 New Member

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    if thats the case you should really reconsider what youre doing. I think marriage is one of those things you should only do once. No need to rush
     
  7. tsi90

    tsi90 _____

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    I agree. Im more so just taking this a normal break up. Havent talked to her since. If she's for real about this then its something she has to figure out on her own
     
  8. Mr. Pelham

    Mr. Pelham Guest

    good for you. Don't make the first attempt to contact her either.
     
  9. RedDawg

    RedDawg Well-Known Member

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    get your money back from the ring and take a vacation with buddys
     
  10. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Go out and meet new women.
     
  11. tsi90

    tsi90 _____

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    I dont really have the option of vacation or meeting people. I just got back from a vacation so it will be a while before the next. Im also in my last year of gradschool trying to finish up my thesis so I can defend it by the spring (this means 12hr+ workdays, everyday)
     
  12. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Then focus on yourself for awhile. You can think about marriage when you finish school.
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    1. Sorry :hug:
    2. Don't wait around for her
    3. Focus on yourself for a while
    4. Let her contact you
     
  14. FSTMX5

    FSTMX5 New Member

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    consider yourself lucky for getting out when you did...as bad as it sucks its better this way than if she said yes and it fell apart shortly thereafter...ask me how i know :o
     
  15. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    You just keep doing your thing, and give her some time to think about it. It might be just the initial shock of your request that she is taken aback. Don't give up hope yet, the ball is in her court basically, and its quite a big decision as wel, so its ok to give her some decision time. No need to push her, once again give her some time to think about it, and maby within a decent short amount of time ,she'll turn around.
     
  16. tsi90

    tsi90 _____

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    Whats an appropriate amount of time? I'm still going to just keep up my daily routine anyway but just wondering.
     
  17. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You shouldn't be thinking at all about any amount of time for her to "think." You need to move forward as if you two are through. Focus on yourself. If she comes back in 4 months you will then have the choice if you want her back or not.

    I'm more skeptical in this thread, I think like a lot of women she is intrigued by another man and wants to explore that before "settling" on you.
     
  18. Striff

    Striff Gimme the chocolate OT Supporter

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    How long were you going out with her bro? Sorry.
     
  19. RedDawg

    RedDawg Well-Known Member

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    keep busy

    If you find yourself sitting home alone and beginning to think about her, go out and do something. Call some buddys and grab some food, go to a movie, go walk around the mall, etc...
     
  20. tsi90

    tsi90 _____

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    Yeah thats the plan. I was kind of pissed off that I missed my morning workout yesterday. I made up for it today. working 12+ hours a day helps out a lot too.

    We dated almost 3 years. The more I think about this the more I realize that I've been in a similar situation before with a different girl and I got to be the guy just sitting and waiting. I really hope that is not the case with her though. She has always been a very caring and honest person so I really think she is serious about this.
     
  21. Lateralus

    Lateralus New Member

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    If I had proposed to my girlfriend and she said no our relationship would probably end right there for good, I really don't see how a relationship can recover from something like that. Return the ring and move on with your life I say.
     
  22. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :ugh: My father proposed to my mother 3 times before she said yes and they had been dating over 2 years already. She said, "What is the rush? I'm not going anywhere." On the 4th asking she finally said yes and 35+ years later they are still together :dunno:

    It depends why she says no.
     
  23. Lateralus

    Lateralus New Member

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    I agree in certain situations it could end up fine, but this doesn't sound like one of them. I do find it odd that she said she wasn't going anywhere, but didn't want to get engaged though.
     
  24. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Because not everyone feels engagement and marriage are something that have to happen. They were happy not engaged and just dating. They also were (like the TS) finishing school/important jobs and there was no rush. They finally decided it'd be best to get married when they had some money saved.
     
  25. Mr. Pelham

    Mr. Pelham Guest

    why are you giving him false sense of hope?

    You have to assume the worst in these types of situations or its just going to prolong the pain and confuse him more and possibly have him ruin the situation when he calls and talks and does whatever.

    If someone told me straight out that my girl wasn't coming back it would have helped a great deal.
     

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