she has a kid

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by victimizati0n, Aug 17, 2009.

  1. victimizati0n

    victimizati0n New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2005
    Messages:
    47,046
    Likes Received:
    0
    hey guys, i know i have seen threads like this before, and i looked in the "read this post first" thread but i didnt find anything.. so here it goes

    my friends were telling me about one of their friends who has recently broke up with her boyfriend

    that sounds great, but the only downfall is she has a kid and is in her early 20's

    im not sure how old the child is, but from what i have heard the kid is probably around 1 yr old

    so i would like your opinions on dating a girl that already has a child, i have never met her, so i have no idea what she is like, but i am just pondering the situation

    for instance, would you ever date a girl with a child? why or why not?

    what responsibilities would i have, like would i be expected to take care of her kid and provide for him/her

    im not sure if im making myself look like an ass here, but i have never been in this situation
     
  2. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2001
    Messages:
    13,610
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    lovely orlando
    well, i'm female, and i'm not interested in dating any men with kids. it's a dealbreaker for me. i do not have any kids.

    there are a ton of issues when dealing with kids in relationships. first off, the kid should ALWAYS be #1 to the mom. if not, she's not a good mom. so, that means that you will always be 2nd in the relationship. can't find a babysitter? well, i guess the two of you aren't going out that night.

    is the boyfriend her baby's daddy? did they break up amicably or were they prone to arguments/fighting all the time? if the latter is the case, do you really want to be in the middle of all that?

    what responsibilities would you have to the child? :ugh: are you kidding me? it's not YOUR child, therefore, you have none! on the other hand, if the relationship progressed and you felt strongly for the mother, one would hope you would also feel strongly for the child. they are a package deal.
     
  3. victimizati0n

    victimizati0n New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2005
    Messages:
    47,046
    Likes Received:
    0
    that is exactly what i was thinking about the responsibilities.. but i really did have to ask

    i think her latest ex boyfriend is the father, but i really have no idea, im not sure why they broke up, but i did hear that she went through three boyfriends pretty quickly, but the guys she was with here major douche bags (probably just in it for the sex, i am told she is very attractive)

    i really dont mind if i "come second" in the relationship as i understand how things are, you cant just ignore a child

    i always told myself that i would never go out with a girl that had a kid, but when im actually potentially put in the situation, i really have to wonder about it

    now, i may have some facts wrong here since im just going off of what my friends are telling me, so i dont know if these things are true or not, im going to be meeting her soon though
     
  4. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2004
    Messages:
    4,608
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Melbourne
    I haven't been in that situation, but it wouldn't put me off completely. She'd have to be pretty amazing though... If the kid was a little nutcase or the father was around and always causing drama, then there is no way I'd hang around but the addition of a normal kid to a relationship wouldn't be a deal breaker for me.
     
  5. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2007
    Messages:
    30,849
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    It can go either way from my direct personal experience.


    Either

    A) The young mother has a great head on her shoulders and is realizing that early mistakes in her life isn't ruining her future. Shes happy with her life, has support from her friends and family, and generally is trying to raise her child. With that said, usually they are upfront/honest about what they need in a 'man'. Is it just a boyfriend or is it someone playing the father role in the childs life? (Something you may have to really think about if the question arises)

    And Secondly...

    You get the crazy baby momma drama. Theres no way around it. With a young adult, especially one who is single/away from the baby's father, there is usually a lot of running back, dealing with the dad, etc etc. ITs almost ALWAYS not worth it and in the end the end up in the same circle of 'abuse' per se.
     
  6. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2004
    Messages:
    23,699
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NoVA
    Personally I want to be the most important thing to my partner for at least a while. So I wouldn't date a woman with a kid. If you're okay with not being the first priority like chica said though then go for it.
     
  7. saosko

    saosko OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2009
    Messages:
    6,540
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tampa
    do you really want all that drama in your life?
     
  8. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2007
    Messages:
    5,712
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Providence, RI
    Well, I'm in this predicament now so I can give you a thought out answer.

    Started dating my girlfriend about a month or so now.. So, any information or thoughts I put out are based on that.

    I'm 23, she's 25. Her child is 5.

    I was very anti-children (well, dating-wise) up until I met this girl. When we first started talking, she made it clear she had a child and what her priorities were, I was ok with that.

    So, being I was never really interested in women with children, I figured this one would be no different. I didn't want to have to deal with her kid. I wanted a girl, not a parent.

    So I decided to take things lightly and kind of play it by ear, maybe get a FB or something out of it.. but then something hit me. As we went out, our dates progressively got better, communication was great, she was strong willed, very independent, and so confident.. she grew on me.

    Long story short - we started dating, and this is, from what I feel, the best explanation I could give.

    Children aren't always wanted. Sometimes people make mistakes during sex, sometimes they're too immature about sex. Whatever the situation is, a child comes from it. Being that most young single parents end up alone isn't a surprise.. When that father decides he doesn't want the kid, or the responsibilities, a lot is thrown onto a woman and you can get a great judge of character by the way they handle it.

    I now look at the situation and think.. just cause she has a child, why does that make her off the market? She's still a woman? Check. She still has desires? Check. She's attractive? Check.

    She has a head on her shoulders, and priorities, and an end goal for what she wants for herself as well as her child.

    Some can look at it as a downfall, others a reason.. so far, I'm not going to lie, it's been a great relationship.

    Not once have I had to provide for the child, or act like 'Daddy', either.


    Its early, and re-reading that I'm all over the place, but get from it what you can :rofl:.
     
  9. victimizati0n

    victimizati0n New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2005
    Messages:
    47,046
    Likes Received:
    0
    thanks guys, i made this thread pretty late last night, bu really, i just need to meet her and go from there :hs:

    i know a girl with a child and there is almost no drama with her, nor with any of her other boyfriends
     
  10. saosko

    saosko OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2009
    Messages:
    6,540
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tampa
    Age of the child plays a huge factor, having a toddler is completely different from an older 5-6 year old child.
     
  11. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    I wouldn't date a woman that age with a kid. To many single women out there that age without the baggage.
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    I'm just going to go ahead and say, based off the many threads I've read from you....you are nowhere near mature enough to handle dating a chick with a kid.

    Move on.
     
  13. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2004
    Messages:
    65,576
    Likes Received:
    472
    Location:
    In a van down by the river
    Meh, dating a girl with a kid is no big deal (despite what the Vag hardcore elite upthread were saying).

    It does take a level of maturity, though, to understand that you don't need to be her prize in life. And, believe it or not, not all girls with kids are psycho bitches with wings and fangs and horns and shit.

    I would say that if you are still in college or something, you are probably not mature enough to handle it. But if you've been in the real world for a while, it's not that big a deal.
     
  14. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2008
    Messages:
    1,816
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    CdM, CA
    wait, you havent even met this girl and you are already worried about this? what if you dont even like her? why dont you wait til you actually meet her, hang out a few times and see if you guys even have anything in common to even think about taking it further.....

    ive dated a guy with a kid. i wouldnt say its a horrible thing, it just will end up being a different type of relationship. you wont be first in her life. things cant be spontaneous, kid might be around a lot (or all the time) while you are at her place, and none of those things are fun
     
  15. Cobra Commander

    Cobra Commander OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2008
    Messages:
    20,930
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK
    Women with kids need to get fucked too :dunno:
     
  16. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2008
    Messages:
    3,680
    Likes Received:
    0
    I guess she was talking about a relationship not just fucking...
     
  17. LatinLover

    LatinLover Puppah Lover...

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2007
    Messages:
    698
    Likes Received:
    0
    straight to the gut! but damn true! :bowdown:
     
  18. victimizati0n

    victimizati0n New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2005
    Messages:
    47,046
    Likes Received:
    0
    you're a fucking moron, you cant gauge how mature i am over an internet message board
     
  19. victimizati0n

    victimizati0n New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2005
    Messages:
    47,046
    Likes Received:
    0
    if you would have read my posts, you would see im just trying to get opinions and i even stated i havent met her and have no idea what would happen.
     
  20. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2007
    Messages:
    30,849
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    :rofl: Whoa buddy, you obviously aren't mature enough/
     
  21. victimizati0n

    victimizati0n New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2005
    Messages:
    47,046
    Likes Received:
    0
    :hsugh:

    yes because the way a person acts on a message board is a 100% accurate way of telling how they act in real life situations
     
  22. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2007
    Messages:
    30,849
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    Well, if you're 'acting' on a message board that you are trying to get 'solid' advice from, then maybe you should re-think the situation?


    Moron.
     
  23. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2008
    Messages:
    1,816
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    CdM, CA
    i did give you an opinion....no need to be a dick about it.
     
  24. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2007
    Messages:
    30,849
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    TS obviously doesnt have the mental capacity to take constructive criticism, no worries.
     
  25. XxvODvxX

    XxvODvxX New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2007
    Messages:
    971
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Northern NJ
    Well that just took a 180degree change...
     

Share This Page