she cheats with you she'll cheat on you

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by THoC, Feb 2, 2010.

  1. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    am i the only person that does not agree with this?

    not saying it doesnt happen, but.... is it ALWAYS true?

    im even daring to say its a 50/50 situation.


    girl could cheat on her bf bc the RS is going south. you are what she truly wants in a guy.
    sure its not a moral thing to cheat. she should break it off first.
    but, does it necesseraly mean that if she starts to date you that she will more than likely end up cheating on you?
     
  2. kristaliah

    kristaliah New Member

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    I don't think it's always true..

    I think it's more of a maturity thing. Depends on how much the girl matures while she's in the current relationship.
     
  3. kristaliah

    kristaliah New Member

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    And the maturity thing has nothing to do with how much the new guy loves her/treats her "better" it's all within her.
     
  4. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    I'm not sure I believe anything is absolute, but you're just focusing on the exception and not the rule, which is a foolish way of approaching it in my opinion.
     
  5. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    i brought it up bc i see the phrase all the time in the vag. pretty much any time a scenario of "this girl has a bf but she likes me. what do i do!?".

    im simply trying to get ideas of how people feel about this.

    i, for one, would have no issues w. dating a girl that cheated on her bf w. me.
    there could be a lot of reasons why she did.

    to not start a RS only based on that situation is stupid to me.
    i have seen plenty of girls cheat on someone for the first time.
     
  6. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    I think it can go both ways, some people are just habitual cheaters. Some people are probably in a very bad place and make the wrong choice because they don't know what to do. It's not right that they did it, but not everyone is perfect.
     
  7. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    I still think you're skewing the subject to fit your view though. The fact of the matter is I don't date someone unless they are trustworthy and trustworthy people don't do things like lie, cheat, or steal. Whatever justifications you might have or whatever unique circumstances there might be don't change that fact.
     
  8. SolidRanger

    SolidRanger New Member

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    I'm with you that there are no absolutes.

    Keep in mind OP that alot of women don't consider it cheating if they already feel that the relationship is dead, even if they haven't broken up with the person yet. That is sort of a gray area. The ones that cheat in the middle of a relationship but don't want to give up the person they cheated on are the main ones to watch out for. Those ones will definitely just keep on doing it again and again because they lack impulse control/compassion/respect.
     
  9. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    i guess im more open than you to the reasons something may happen.

    lie. ive lied before. either bc i was too pussy to confront the issue. bc i thought a lie would be better than the truth in a specific case.

    steal. when i was younger i stole shit from stores. i grew up and learned the error of my way.

    cheat. ive never done it. but, a bad current RS + a great new person in your life + a moment of weakness, could equal to cheating. i would not look at that person as not trustworthy.
     
  10. m3m750

    m3m750 Kickin' it old school

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    Good luck finding somebody who's never told a lie...
     
  11. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    i agree its a grey area. which is why i ask... why do people on here always say "she cheated w. you she'll cheat on you".

    if its not obsolute why dont people look deeper into what caused the person to cheat vs leaning on that phrase.
     
  12. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    any one who says they have never lied is doing so as they type.
     
  13. SolidRanger

    SolidRanger New Member

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    I didn't write that to justify those actions. To me cheating when the relationship is going nowhere is still a sign of a lack of conviction/respect to the person. It's a form of mental gymnastics.

    I think the real point to take from this is that if she cheated previously because she was unhappy, she will cheat if she ends up being unhappy with you too. Which is quite possible since she runs to the arms of another man instead of working at the relationship.
     
  14. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    First off, we're not talking about ancient history here. We're talking about current behavior. So lets knock off the "when I was younger" crap. Everyone has a past. I'm talking about the present.

    Second, how the fuck is cheating not a violation of trust? It sounds to me like you're saying someone who breaks trust is still trustworthy in your opinion. That makes no sense to me.
     
  15. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    first paragraph. are you saying that since history does not matter that if your gf cheated on an ex it doesnt matter to you bc "its ancient history"?

    history in many cases gives you a good idea of future behavior. so you can cut off the shit in your first paragraph.


    now to the second piece.

    one violation of trust does not make a person untrustworthy.
    people make mistakes.
     
  16. SolidRanger

    SolidRanger New Member

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    Yes, but in this sort of situation, these tend to be mistakes that repeat themselves over and over. And if this girl cheated with you, there's a pretty good chance she did it before. She may not cop to it because she's convinced herself it wasn't really cheating, but I bet you anything you weren't the first guy she cheated with.
     
  17. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    1. No. That's not at all what I'm saying. I'm saying I'm not discussing prior behavior. I'm discussing current behavior. I think I made that fairly clear.

    2. A violation of trust on the level of cheating is significant and does make the person untrustworthy in my opinion.
     
  18. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    but what if she is not unhappy with you at any point?

    my point is that we should stop giving people that advice. dont date her bc she cheated with you she'll do it to you. maybe she will, maybe she wont. if you like this girl A LOT, should you really let that deter you?
     
  19. m3m750

    m3m750 Kickin' it old school

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    Context matters. Past cheating is not a guarantee of future cheating. You'd be foolish not to take it into consideration, but I think you'd be equally foolish to make it an automatic dealbreaker.
     
  20. SolidRanger

    SolidRanger New Member

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    I would argue that these type of women tend to get tempted by what's different. I don't know if you read it but I recently had a crisis of concious with an married ex girlfriend who wanted to start an affair with me. She says she loves her husband and is happy with him, but that she can't be satisfied with just one man. From the experience I've had knowing women who jump from relationship to relationship, they seem to have troubling recognizing what they really want from a relationship and just jump from one relationship to another, even if things were going great.

    I think that's the real point in avoiding these types of women. Because it doesn't matter if everything is going perfectly, she's likely to jump ship anyway.
     
  21. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    1. youre entire argument lies in the past. you are arguing that if someone cheated in the past they will cheat again. but then you try to come back by saying we are not discussing the past.

    2. we will have to agree to disagree. do you not believe that people can change? if they want to change for themselves? if you met a girl, started dating her, fell in love, and she later told you that she has cheated in the past would you no longer trust her in your own RS?
     
  22. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    im not disagreeing with you. im simply inquiring on this..... should we look at each individual person's reasons and situations before saying "if she cheats with you she'll cheat on you".
    i feel we should not be so quick to say that.
     
  23. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    You're confusing your own arguments here. You are talking about 'past' and 'changing', but I'm talking about right fucking now. If a girl is willing to violate her significant other's trust right now to cheat on him with you, then she is currently willing to violate trust. That's not in the past. That's in the present.

    Of course a person's past matters and no, taking a single incident from someone's past isn't an absolute indicator of future behavior. Nowhere have I denied that and I'm pretty sure I even said as much in my first reply. My argument is focused entirely on the current trustworthiness of the individual based on their current actions. You disagree with my opinion of current cheating as a sign of being untrustworthy, fine, but don't put words in my mouth just to find flaw with my argument.
     
  24. SolidRanger

    SolidRanger New Member

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    I guess my point is with any person that has cheated in the past, you are looking at an increased risk of being cheated on yourself. It's up to you to weigh the options and determine if the benefits outweigh the risk. Just because someone says the would never cheat on you doesn't mean it's true.
     
  25. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    i guess i dont understand the difference.

    do you agree that people can change? do you agree that one act in the past does not make a person necesseraly untrustworthy? but people who change have a moment in their life that causes them to change. right?

    so for the girl that cheated with you why cant that moment, right then and there, be the moment she choses to change? why cant things work out great for you if that is what happens?
     

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