Share your awkward/funny sexual experiences

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Falconer, Feb 3, 2010.

  1. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Have you ever had something out of the blue happen in bed that made you go :wtf:

    I don't mean like "I drank too much and my dick wouldn't work." I mean like something that pulled you the fuck out of your comfort zone? What was it? How did you deal with it? Did you go with the flow or did you tell the other person to :gtfo:

    Possible examples to get this thread headed in the right direction:

    - maybe you're a chick and the dude who was fucking you tried to ram it in your ass unannounced (perhaps he didn't realize that anal requires lots of lube and ended up hurting himself :mamoru: ) (side note: is this common? why does every girl I know tell me that this has happened to her??????????)

    - maybe you're the dude in the above example :noes:

    - maybe you're a dude and you're fucking this hot chick and having a blast when suddenly she pulls out a strap on and tells you to bend over :eek3:

    - maybe the girl you're with says out of nowhere "I want you to gag me with your cock"

    - maybe you're a chick and the dude you were fucking started calling you "mommy" in bed :wtf: :rofl:

    - ever had your partner (male or female) try to shove a finger up your asshole while you're in bed?

    - maybe you're conservative in bed and you hooked up with a big fan of talking dirty, like you like to say "you look so beautiful" and this chick starts screaming "fuck my whore ass!!!!"

    - or maybe you're a chick and the dude was talking about how you're gonna beg for his cum and he's gonna fuck your ass and you were like "uh, excuse me? no you're not. gtfo!" :rofl:


    etc.

    Tell what happened, what your reaction was, if you got pissed, laughed, or kicked them out, and anything else that will make this thread worthy of being read
     
  2. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    nothing much shocks me as far as a sexual request or action.

    the weirdest thing that literally made me go limp was this.

    met a girl at a club. she texts me the day after. we set up a date. meet, go back to my place, middle of sex she tells me multiple times that she loves me.

    not "i love the way you fuck me", "i love your cock" etc..

    just "i love you!".

    the first time i just shook it off. the second i was freaked. never called her back again.
     
  3. Aronomy

    Aronomy Get your COME ON!

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    I called a guy the wrong name and he pulled out and left. Literally got up and walked out, and it was HIS fucking apartment, so I was like....holy shit. I couldn't like leave since he was the one who drove me there. And I went to the parking garage and his car was gone.
     
  4. BoomBoomBoy

    BoomBoomBoy Guest

    You should have robbed him. :rofl:


    That would teach him to pull that shit.
     
  5. Boosh Dag

    Boosh Dag Guest

    ashley has a futon with metal hand rails. I was on top and i picked her up to move her. when i dropped her down her head hit the metal rail so hard she got a mild concussion. I was like HOLY SHIT ARE YOU OKAY! And she looked at me all dazed and said, "fuck yeah, dont stop" and gave me a metal sign. :hs:
     
  6. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    \m/

    :bowdown:
     
  7. Saluki

    Saluki New Member

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    I went back to school early from winter break and walked into the house and up to my room to see my roommate getting slammed in the ass by a rather large woman...on my bed. I promptly turned around and went down stairs and made a sammich and watched tv until they came down. I REALLY tried hard not to laugh but as soon as she was out the door I lost it lol
     
  8. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Was nailing this broad I met at the club a few years back...

    Im ready to blow.. I pull out and as soon as I do she gets on her knees and says "put it on my face"


    :wackit: seriously that was instant spooge.
     
  9. PlutoBHG

    PlutoBHG New Member

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    awesome :mamoru:

    i was fucking my girlfriend in the backseat of her suv after a few drinks doggy style really hard for about 15 minutes, didnt notice she had her face smashed into the corner of the door and the seat...when she turned around to switch positions she had a big red imprint of the mazda logo on her forhead. I had to stop for about 5 minutes to laugh...luckily we had those drinks and she thought it was funny too :cool:
     
  10. giz

    giz Active Member

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    tried to use a doritos bag as a condom when i lost my virginity
     
  11. giz

    giz Active Member

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    :rofl::rofl:
     
  12. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    We were in 69 position with him on top and he farted.:rofl:
     
  13. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    I'm like the king of leaning on girls' hair. :mamoru:
     
  14. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I've done that :mamoru:

    "ow!"

    "what, did I go too deep?"

    "ow, no, ow! you're leaning on my hair!"

    Strangely enough, women don't like that, despite LOVING having their hair pulled :rofl:
     
  15. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Fucking :werd:.

    Seriously though I do that shit all the time. :rofl:
     
  16. Aronomy

    Aronomy Get your COME ON!

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    That's funny your first guess was going too deep.
     
  17. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    Holy :rofl: ths thread is a gem

    Guilty of leaning on hair
    guilty of accidentally almost ramming it idb
    can't thnk of anything in particular but one time we were compeing to see who could get more drunk and she kept handing me drinks, ended up gettng whiskey dick later that night and after I don't know how long she just rolled over and went to sleep angry :hsugh:

    My life is average
     
  18. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    No way :rofl:
     
  19. giz

    giz Active Member

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    yeah way

     
  20. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Ooh I thought of one. It was my second girlfriend ever. We were down at her grandparent's ranch in our own little private house. We were both still kinda new to the sex thing and were experimenting with various ideas. So one time we're having sex and I called her "my dirty little slut". She froze, looked at me and said "What did you just call me?"
     
  21. epracmetcon

    epracmetcon New Member

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    Was fucking my ex real hard from behind, both pretty drunk after a wedding. I slipped out on accident but didn't realize it and rammed her in the butthole. Went from her moaning to borderline screaming to full out crying. My dick went from rock hard to limp in 0 flat...

    There have been some others, drinking too much water before and hearing it sloshing around in her belly and laughing uncontrolably from it. lol
     
  22. vizyn

    vizyn New Member

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    In college - it was like 3am... this girl and I snuck into the dorm bathroom shower. She got all light headed after a few minutes and said she didn't feel well. She started walking out of the shower, turned around, stood there with a deer-in-headlights like look on her face, and ripped a huge fart. She then proceeded to yell "I RUIN EVERYTHING" and ran down the hall to her room basically naked trying to cover herself with her clothes.
     
  23. ...stimpy

    ...stimpy New Member

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    thank you for being awesome :bowdown:
     
  24. haargerman

    haargerman ayuh.

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    queefing is always worthy of a good laugh
     
  25. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    :bowrofl: I've had that happen, too :rofl:
     

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