SRS Shame too intense to bear(anonymous thread)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Darketernal, Dec 22, 2009.

  1. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    I am in a state of complete shame, it has been with me for more than a whole day now. I dont know what to do. Its like a crushing feeling in my stomach, I feel worthless and have no power even to raise my voice to normal level when speaking. Im blushed and face is swelling of heat. All of this because I made bad decisions, really bad. The day had come to say goodbye to loved one, we had agreed I would say bye the day before, and the next day I made plans with my parents to meet and help them. Now what I do is I reconsider and in the last minutes get a ticket and follow the loved one to say goodbye when taking off from a different location, so spending one more day together.

    Now parents are more than pissed of at me, because I didnt come and because I went without telling them. I feel I have no integrity, I cannot make any decisions, and the decision I made, to go, was so wrong my parents do not want to speak to me now. I was going to do minor work around the house. Its like they have no trust for me now, and I am just broken inside.

    Is there anything I can do to make things better in this situation? I know I should be more confident and maintain integrity when making decisions, and I should keep what I say. I just didnt.
     
  2. untoastytoast

    untoastytoast The Glory Days

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    Apologize to your parents, make things right with them. Forgive yourself for making a mistake, you're human, we all do it. Stop holding yourself to such a high standard broseph. :hug:
     
  3. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    they're angry, you're ashamed.....both will pass with time.

    the bigger problem is what made you follow someone to get "one more day" even though you really didn't get one more day. it's your maturity that needs some investigating.

    also, are they really pissed because you went to this other location? or is it because you lied to them? or because you spent money that they consider wasted? or that they think you went there and did something they disapprove of (like sex)? or because you were supposed to be home and weren't and screwed up their plans? or because you made that other person's leaving that much harder? ........ IMO, they are probably not so much as pissed that you went as they are because of some other reason you might not have considered.
     
  4. Effervescent

    Effervescent New Member

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    Wow.
    God, that's worse than having AIDS.
    Or accidentally hitting someone with your car.




    And killing them.
    How old are you? Like 14, because you don't ACTUALLY have to answer to your parents when you make a decision like that.


    PS. Mummy will still love you if you buy her flowers.
     
  5. OniMinion

    OniMinion ...recalls when this forum was actually about cars OT Supporter

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    Right, it seems something is underlying the issue at hand.
     
  6. kungfuwoo

    kungfuwoo New Member

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    I have no clue what the poster is saying in this thread. No idea whatsoever.
     
  7. Josh52

    Josh52 New Member

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    Underlying issue is something to do with the relationship between your loved and your parents, they do not like the person leaving you?
     
  8. kamen

    kamen OT Supporter

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    I thought I was the only one...
     
  9. Japan Four

    Japan Four Guest

    ok i understand you feel shame, but what exactly for?
     
  10. Car1

    Car1 New Member

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    Your parents are leaning on you emotionally. My mother used to do that. It gutted me until I could get her to 'accept' me again, which always involved me apologizing for minor bs. You need to be at peace with your decisions whether right or wrong. Easier said then done, I know, but a small 'infraction' as what occurred is no reason for your parents to stop talking to you. People need to "fight" fair, and your parents' reaction is not fair.
     
  11. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

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    .

    For anon thread, it's bloody vague.
     
  12. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    I agree.


    What decision did you make that could be so horrible? Your parents will soon overcome their anger and love you all the same.

    Instead of looking for acceptance from your parents, how about from yourself?
     
  13. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    Let me hazard a guess - TS's culture is one where the parents call the shots even when the kids are grown. Not that that's a problem - to each his own - but you're asking for advice from a bunch of primarily Westernized individuals who love and respect our parents (as a general rule) but don't allow them to run our lives.

    That said, you should have called your parents when you decided to change your plans. What you should do now is call, apologize for not advising them of your change in plans, and do whatever you said you'd do for your them at your earliest convenience.

    Your parents are disappointed in you because you showed a lack of maturity. So, now you have to prove that you know what the right thing to do is, and do it properly without being asked and without allowing yourself to be distracted. Their disappointment and disapproval will wane as you show through your actions that you're maturing.

    Edit:
    My guess is that he's Asian and his gf flew out of the country (back home?) and maybe his parents didn't entirely approve of her or thought that she distracted him from his studies or something.
     
  14. OniMinion

    OniMinion ...recalls when this forum was actually about cars OT Supporter

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    Wow, Offtopic Main Forum etiquette in The Asylum sub forum...

    You need to talk to your parents: Communication is key.
     
  15. konrad109

    konrad109 New Member

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    Oh man, the silent treatment. When I was a kid my mom used to love to threaten to leave forever if anyone ever questioned her or stood up for themselves against her bs. I managed to get my mom to stop doing it after I simply grew up and it stopped working on me. I told her to ahead and leave and fuck herself. My dad would go on these alcoholic style rage binges (he didn't need alcohol to go into em though) and would always threaten to kick my ass. That stopped too after I walked right up to him and told him to go ahead and fucking try it. That silent treatment was always the worst and it still can sometimes ruin my day untill I can snap out of it.
     

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