Sexual Incompetence

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Tom Foolery, Feb 16, 2009.

  1. Tom Foolery

    Tom Foolery New Member

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    I am 24 years old, but I feel like I am 50 sometimes.

    I have very little sex drive it seems like. Sure, I love looking at hot women, but I don't have that urge that every other man has to do whatever it takes to get them in to bed. I am a pretty good looking guy, so I find myself in sexual situations from time to time with out even trying. This is where it gets embarrassing. I have troubles getting and keeping a erection. Usually my sexual conquests end in me apologizing and being embarrassed as hell. Just this weekend I had one of these occurrences. I was with a beautiful woman - young, sexy, great body, and eager to fuck - everything that should make for a great night. I kept getting her to suck my dick to get it hard, but when she would stop and I would try to put on a condom and fuck, I would begin to get soft. I ended up being able to talk her in to giving me a blowjob until I came, but usually I am not so lucky; usually it ends in me passing out feeling like an idiot.

    Just to set the record straight, I am not, nor have I ever been, the type of guy to just go looking for random pussy. The problem is that I do horrible with any type of relationship because I know once we try to have sex it will end the same as it always does. This keeps me from dating usually, which will ultimately keep me from finding a wife and getting the life I want.

    This has been going on for forever, and I don't know what to do about it. It constantly bothers me. Nobody, even my best friends, know about this. I usually lie to them the morning after, and give very sketchy details about the night before. I know you guys probably don't care, but it feels good to type out. If anybody has experienced something similar, or has any advice, I am all ears :hs:

    ***UPDATE***

    Back home now.

    Good (?) news: Blood work came back fine. Testosterone levels are at 395 ng/dl, with the normal range being listed as 241-827.

    Bad news: Blood work came back fine. Apparently that makes this a psychological issue instead of a physical one. The doctor gave me a 2 week trial of Venlafaxine, which is for depression/anxiety. I really don't know how to feel about this. I am trying to decide whether or not I am even going to take the shit. He also gave me a 'script for a 30 day supply for when the trial runs out.

    I have never even considered taking meds like this, and I am not sure I even agree with them. As I mentioned before, I am kind of shy, especially in certain situations - always have been; and I do get down on myself sometimes, but who doesn't? I am worried about starting something like this b/c I don't know where the end is. I always looked at this type of shit as a temporary fix, not a solution.

    I feel very odd right now even thinking about this stuff.
     
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2009
  2. Tom Foolery

    Tom Foolery New Member

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    I had a pretty shitty sexual experience when I was 18. Had a girl tell me I got her preggo and that she got an abortion. I have no way of verifying her story either way. She was a liar, but who knows if she was telling the truth on this. That was a long time ago though, and I have learned to accept it. I don't really think that is the main thing keeping me from performing; this has been going on for forever. I have always been kind of shy, especially sexually, so that doesn't help.
     
  3. bovine

    bovine New Member

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    It sounds like at this point it's your nervousness that's killing your erection.

    Maybe you could go down on the girl on your next attempt and put the condom on while you're doing so. That way you'll be reasonably confident that the girl is having a good time and there won't be the awkward pause that is entailed in ripping open the package and putting on the condom while the girl just sits there.
     
  4. Specialist23

    Specialist23 OT Supporter

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    passing out because of drinking? if so, check that.

    otherwise, do what others have said. check with a doc and take breather.
     
  5. Tom Foolery

    Tom Foolery New Member

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    I thought it was b/c of drinking before, but then the same thing happened sober.

    Take a breather is laughable. That's why this sucks, it is rare that I get the chance to have sex (both because I can be kinda shy and because I am scared that the usual will happen), so it really sucks that I blow it every time I do get a chance.

    A lot of my friends are in serious relationships, some are having kids, and my younger sister is getting married. All this, and I can't even keep a girl for more than a few dates because I drift away from her, either avoiding sexual embarrassment or after sexual embarrassment. I feel like Steve Carrel in the 40 y/o V when he is describing why he is a virgin and he says at first he worried about it all the time, then it got weird because it had been so long, and then he just stopped trying (I am paraphrasing, horribly, here). I don't want to get to the "stopped trying" stage, although sometimes I feel like I am already there.
     
  6. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    It's god punishing you for being a UGA fan.











    On a serious note, go see a fucking doctor. If I can't get a boner at 24 the last place I will be is sitting in front of my computer asking teh internets for help.
     
  7. Simple

    Simple Sexy Beatch

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    i'm finding the same thing with the new girl i'm courting...i just got out of a really long term relationship where i didn't have such problem. its mental bro. i just hope i can get over it with the quickness
     
  8. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    fuck that noise...


    even it was only mental and not a hormonal problem of some sort I'd still be in a docs office wanting to give viagra/cialis a try until I got over the mental hang up...
     
  9. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    Usually my sexual conquests end in me apologizing and being embarrassed as hell. Just this weekend I had one of these occurrences. I

    Reading that right there makes me sense weakness in yourself. You don't need to say sorry we all have weak nights. I think it's mental. How often do you masturbate? Do you know how the process works and what you do to blow your load?
     
  10. jackjohnson

    jackjohnson simple as something nobody knows OT Supporter

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    dude I'm 25 and I'm in the exact same situation. word for word. there is a girl that I could easily bang but I pretty much choose not to to save embarrassment. the last girl I hooked up with I liked a lot and found attractive and yet I could never get it up. seems like a huge mental block.
     
  11. Simple

    Simple Sexy Beatch

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    :wtc:
     
  12. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Do you exercise?

    If not why don't you start lifting weights and doing some cardio?
     
  13. Tom Foolery

    Tom Foolery New Member

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    That's kinda what I'm thinking. It seems like it's mental, but I haven't gotten over it for a few years...

    I have been too embarrassed to go to the doctor, but I think the time has come. I apparently am not going to get over this by myself, so I might as well see what a dr says about it. I hope I actually go through with going to see one :hs:
     
  14. Tom Foolery

    Tom Foolery New Member

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    No homo, but I am so glad to hear someone else is in the same situation. I feel like the only one in the world with this problem. I am just as good looking and cool as my friends, more so than some (not trying to sound cocky, just putting it in perspective), but they have normal sex lives and gf's and shit, I just feel left out.

    Have you ever been to a Dr.?
     
  15. Tom Foolery

    Tom Foolery New Member

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    Yes, I lift. That is not always the answer.
     
  16. Tom Foolery

    Tom Foolery New Member

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    Yeah, I think it is mostly mental too, but what the hell am I supposed to do? This has been going on for quite a while.

    I jack off maybe 5 times a week.
     
  17. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    werd


    drugs can help with the mental aspect too.
     
  18. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    speaking of drugs apparently sex on meth is fucking awesome...maye give that a shot....:hsugh:
     
  19. Tom Foolery

    Tom Foolery New Member

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    Thank you for that thoughtful response.
     
  20. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    sources? everything i hear is that meth fucks with that, and pot is the way to go. :dunno:
     
  21. Bi-Polar-Bear

    Bi-Polar-Bear OT Supporter

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  22. Victoriono

    Victoriono New Member

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    Stop mastrubating and watching porn.

    The more you watch porn and mastrubate the more and more difficult it's going to be to become aroused when with a actual real girl. (Yes it's true)

    But as someone else said, I would go and ask a doctor.
     
  23. JamesL

    JamesL wat

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    Awesome as in it feels pretty damn good... and you are so twacked that you can usually keep it going for quite a while. But when you orgasm you feel like you are about to have a heart attack.

    And methamphetamine is a vasoconstrictor and will decrease blood flow to your penis, making it harder to get and maintain an erection.
     
  24. JamesL

    JamesL wat

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    Threadstarter.... honest answer here... are you, perhaps, underendowed?

    Serious question.
     
  25. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    first things first:

    how is your diet, and what do you do for exercise?
     

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