FRK Sex Related Injury

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by no lol today, Sep 24, 2008.

  1. no lol today

    no lol today Soy la bailarina de la muerta. OT Supporter

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    Please post embarrassing stories of injuries sustained while in the throes of sexual intercourse.

    !!! do it:idhitit:do it:idhitit:do it!!!
     
  2. Drunken Karnie Midget

    Drunken Karnie Midget In Yeo We Trust, All Others Pay Cash OT Supporter

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  3. no lol today

    no lol today Soy la bailarina de la muerta. OT Supporter

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    Sociopath suggested thread at mention of my own story ...

    My fiance & I, in our early days circa 2006, had wall to wall beds in the room we were renting. Don't ask how. We just did. It was fun for sex, but we tended to get a bit carried away with the acrobatics & such.

    Anyway, I was trying to pin him & bite one of my favorite places to bite whilst he happened to be trying to hump my face at the same time. The resulting trajectory error saw his hip bone to my top right incisor. I heard a snap and there were a few moments of intense pain, but it faded & everything seemed okay.

    A couple days later I became worried because the tooth had some definite wiggle room that shouldn't have been there. Went to the dentist & found that the root had snapped horizontally & that it all had to come out. As a kid I busted that tooth in half & had a ton of expensive dental work + two crowns put on my two front teeth. Now ... I was left with 1 crown & a big gap.

    Finally getting it all fixered now but geez. Explaining that to friends & family was interesting. We had to get our story down - we said we were goofing off & his head had bonked it. I know some people must have thought he'd beaten me! Oh if they only knew ...
     
  4. no lol today

    no lol today Soy la bailarina de la muerta. OT Supporter

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    Ya ya, I diddet. :hsugh:
     
  5. Drunken Karnie Midget

    Drunken Karnie Midget In Yeo We Trust, All Others Pay Cash OT Supporter

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    I think i included this one in the "sexual misadventures" thread from about a year ago... but i'll put it here anyhow...


    Quite some time ago my wife and i were engaged in a somewhat modified doggie position. We got a little over-eager, and slipped from one location to the next. The noise heard was something resembling a dog at the moment of impact with a high speed truck. After an immediate freeze to assess the situation, I realized where i was, and my mind started racing to think of a way to remove it without causing any further discomfort (this was not a regular activity of ours at the time) and so we both sorta sat there for a few minutes. I asked if she was ok, and her reply sorta caught me off guard. She said, "I will be... Actually i'm strangely comfortable with it." a few seconds of laughter, and a cautious removal that didn't go nearly as well as either of us would have liked, pretty much ended the evenings activities. :wtc:
     
  6. Drunken Karnie Midget

    Drunken Karnie Midget In Yeo We Trust, All Others Pay Cash OT Supporter

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    would've been easier to say you tripped and fell into a counter... awesome story.
     
  7. no lol today

    no lol today Soy la bailarina de la muerta. OT Supporter

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  8. Drunken Karnie Midget

    Drunken Karnie Midget In Yeo We Trust, All Others Pay Cash OT Supporter

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    yeah, that was pretty close actually... and the face matched the two of us perfectly
     
  9. no lol today

    no lol today Soy la bailarina de la muerta. OT Supporter

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    That house was disgusting. Dirty bachelor pit. I would have barfed at the thought!
     
  10. Drunken Karnie Midget

    Drunken Karnie Midget In Yeo We Trust, All Others Pay Cash OT Supporter

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    :rofl::rofl: ok, ok, but at least the story would have been much easier to accept for the intended dupes, and far less embarrassing than the only somewhat trimmed down truth...
     
  11. skych

    skych New Member

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    only minor face smashes into headboard/wall/shower etc...

    nothing to interesting :wtc:
     
  12. Drunken Karnie Midget

    Drunken Karnie Midget In Yeo We Trust, All Others Pay Cash OT Supporter

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    *edit* holy wall of text batman: Cliffs; Uncut penis gets VERY uncomfortable after foreskin becomes tourniquet.


    A friend of mine is not circumcised: That's just some background info necessary to the remainder of this lil anecdote. Towards the end of one drunken evening, he wound up having an... engagement, with another drunken female, whom apparently has a mouth like a hoover (dam). The next day, he comes over to my place, and he's walking like he managed to get the beans above the frank, and the whole works stuck in his zipper a la` There's Something About Mary. Me being a medic in the army, and trusting in my discretion, as well as one of his best friends, he decided to come to me with his issue. At first i was puzzled by what i saw. It appeared to be a fleshy pencil, with some swelling just below the tip. After my mean spirited thoughts cleared, and i looked at it from a medically professional standpoint, i could see that he was in excruciating pain, though the cause was unknown. It was a penis, that was starting to swell just below the tip, and was oozing a clear liquid much in the way of minor scrapes. It was then that he mentioned that he was not circumcised. Bear in mind, an uncircumcised penis should not at any time, resemble a circumcised penis. This one did. Apparently Miss-Vortex-of-Doom had applied sufficient force to her fellatio to cause the foreskin to remain back from the head after all was said and done. Thus turning it into a tourniquet around the tip of his unit. This resulted in a cut off of circulation, which caused the swelling, and the oozing. (the oozing liquid was his plasma being forced through the membrainous veins/arteries, and around all of the cells of his tissues until it escaped to the surface) This swelling of course resulted in massive irritation which lead to further swelling. Even looking at it heavy caused pain, let alone the attempt to correct the issue. My immediate advice was ER, NOW! He was reluctant to go, due to the immense amount of embarrassment he was already feeling. He decided to wait to see if it would correct itself. Two hours later, and things had only gotten worse. To the hospital we went, where i proceeded to sit in the parking lot and read a book for a couple of hours.
    He emerged from the hospital looking immensely relieved, though still uncomfortable. Apparently he had to endure some kind of torture involving needles, and fluid drainage, to allow enough elasticity back into the tissues involved, to allow them to be manipulated back into the anatomically correct positions. It hurt, but all was better after it was over. Much like Church, and Confession.
     
  13. no lol today

    no lol today Soy la bailarina de la muerta. OT Supporter

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  14. Drunken Karnie Midget

    Drunken Karnie Midget In Yeo We Trust, All Others Pay Cash OT Supporter

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    ...should i have left out my personal views on organized religions?
     
  15. no lol today

    no lol today Soy la bailarina de la muerta. OT Supporter

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    Nah, hoover chick. Who the hell does that? wtf
     
  16. Drunken Karnie Midget

    Drunken Karnie Midget In Yeo We Trust, All Others Pay Cash OT Supporter

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    i can offer first, and second hand knowledge that she's got more cottage cheese than wisconsin, and is a complete skank. She doesn't just play at it, she defines the term.
     
  17. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    holy hell. i was biting my hand the entire time I read that story. sounds horrible.
    I have a similar one of these, except I was the receiver of said mistake. We were really young (15), and had only had sex a few times, but we were starting to get more vigorous and adventurous. Well like you said, he accidentally plunged into the wrong hole, but then quickly pulled back out. I dont even think he noticed what he did, it happened so fast, but I was screaming into the pillow immediately (his mom was sitting right on the other side of the wall) and had tears streaming down my face. I got dressed as quickly as possible and ran down the hall to the bathroom to check to see if I was all in tact. Needless to say, after that I made him be super careful when fast thrusting.

    We also had a drunk anal attempt that resulting in me bleeding and swollen for months. yeah, that was a great time.
     
  18. Drunken Karnie Midget

    Drunken Karnie Midget In Yeo We Trust, All Others Pay Cash OT Supporter

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    sounds like he gave you an internal hemorrhoid... ouch.

    I guess it is rather a morbid bit to laugh at huh? :hsugh:
     
  19. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    I've had nothing worse than a busted lip. Semi-drunken attempt at shower sex :o
     
  20. hoppy1028

    hoppy1028 New Member

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    i was having sex with my current s.o. in the shower and her foot was on the soap dish, and it ripped right out of the wall and fell right into my achilles tendon and next thing i know water turned red and shower was over...

    and then was we were saving money to move out while living with my parents, try explaining that one but needless to say i pulled it off, the question is did they believe me
     
  21. Drunken Karnie Midget

    Drunken Karnie Midget In Yeo We Trust, All Others Pay Cash OT Supporter

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    Not likely... our parents aren't nearly as gullible as we'd like them to be...
     
  22. dino_sores

    dino_sores New Member

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    ive broken 2 pairs of glasses
     
  23. TigreTek

    TigreTek omega member OT Supporter

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    I had french onion soup for dinner.
     
  24. Having sex in the shower on a little built in ceramic "chair"/"seat" and I got pushed a little harder than I was expecting and ram my head into the wall. Got a bruise but that's it. :rofl: Then one time I picked up my BF, dropped him on the bed and there was a 360 controller on the bed that found it's way into his back. :bowrofl:
     
  25. Buttons

    Buttons OT Supporter

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    he must have had ridiculously tight foreskin. Mine goes back to covering my glans right after I lose my erection. Sometimes it gets stuck and a little tug puts it back in place.
     

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