SRS Sex problems(anonymous thread)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Darketernal, Apr 6, 2009.

  1. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    I'm 21 and i've been with this girl for about a month,we have done lotta things but the actual penetration and yesterday she asked me to put the condom on and once again, like always i didn't stay hard...

    I've been with 4-5 girls so done the make out and bjs and all but this problem has always kept me from losin my virginity, and this girl i'm with, i don't wanna dissapoint her so i know it's gonna get worse and worse from here on...

    Basically i can get and stay hard easily with porn (maybe watch it around 4-5 times a week, and cuttin down on it) and get off but when i'm with a girl, it's hard to stay hard, and just when i'm about to penetrate and put the condom on, i lose it right away.. i'm gettin tired of this, and i've been readin up by googling and i guess it's performance anxiety and they talk about how it gets worse the more you think about it...
    Also i have an average penis, just below 6' and i'm very concious about that, maybe it's because of too much porn, seeing all those things lol

    I just feel like i should just have sex, lose the virginity and get over with it, so i won't have this 'anxiety problem' and the thing is i'm very social, and can attract girls fairly easily, so i'm don't have any anxiety problems.

    I've started doing the kegel exercises lately, so just do it whenever i'm sittin down and something... Also looking for other stuff... i don't know if i don't need a prescription for viagra in ontario, canada, so i think maybe i can buy it, just for the first couple times and then stop using it.. Because i know i don't have a physical problem since i can get hard by myself, but i think i can just use the viagra (or something else like that) and just lose the virginity..

    I've had so many chances to lose my virginity, i just feel like it gets worse as i get older.. so PLEASE give some opinions on this issue, and whatnot.. and also myabe some websites/forums/articles that i can read up and ask questions about this...

    cliffs; would really appreciate it if you read teh whole thing, but basically can't stay hard when with a girl, and with a condom (no problem gettin and stayin hard with porn) and thinkin about using a viagra or something like that to just lose the virginity and get over it so that i might not have this problem in the future
     
  2. shiyan

    shiyan grabbing titties in amusement parks OT Supporter

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    That's definitely first time anxiety. I had it too on the first night, when the gf tried to ride me. After the first 1-2 times it will become a lot easier like you said.

    My gf helped me out the next morning, let me hit it doggy :o I think for the first few times doggy or missionary works well, definitely don't go with girl on top the first few times :o

    I think the 2 of you should get warmed up with a little foreplay to get hard, ask her to lube both of you up while you put on the condom quickly, stick it in then get to it :boink:

    The main thing for your first time is for you to concentrate on enjoying yourself rather than thinking of how it is for her. That way you should be able to stay hard and enjoy yourself. If you enjoy yourself she'll enjoy herself too.
     
  3. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Shiyan is right. This will improve on it's own. Understand this -- and I'm not bullshitting you -- I've had similar problems, even "after" my first time. Sometimes the little guy just doesn't want to hit homeruns.

    Women run into the same problems -- sometimes they can't climax and feel they've disappointed us fellas.

    The first time, you're goin to probably perform poorly, it's like anything else. You practice, you improve. You may as well tell the girl that you have anxiety, that you're not going to be a homerun king the first few times. If she doesn't know you're a virgin, let her know and ask her how you can satisfiy her even if you run into some snags initially.

    Communicate. And as far as porn goes, you absolutely must not compare yourself to them. That's like women who binge and purge and or suffer from Anorexia because they compare themselves to models on the front covers of magazines.

    Men and women evolved a certain way. There is a reason the "average" size is what it is -- because average has worked for millions of years...plus. The average woman is going to be satisfied.
     
  4. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    If you've fooled around other ways besides sex she obvoiusly isn't disappointed with the size of your cock, trust me if it wasn't big enough for her she'd be out by now. Is the condom too tight or anything? I ran into that with certain condoms its too damn tight which can cause you to lose it.
     
  5. shiyan

    shiyan grabbing titties in amusement parks OT Supporter

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    oh yeah, get thin condoms, for maximum feel, like Durex Elite, I tried an "endurance" condom, Durex Performa, once, and lost my boner within a minute
     
  6. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    not sure if this is a contributing factor but have her put on the condom for you. it will continue the foreplay and you dont have to add another stress factor.

    as stated above your issue is not the abnormal. lots of guys go through it..... only part that sucks is that the more you think about it the harder (no pun intended) it is for you to conquor it.
     
  7. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    You can try Crown Skinless condoms to. They are very thin, it's about as close to bareback as you can get, and I've never had one break. And like said above, let her put it on for you.

    Try not to think about it much, just focus on pleasing her. If she puts it on, and you feel yourself getting limp, go down on her for a little while until you get hard again, then make another attempt.
     
  8. maybe get a sample pack of enzyte or something just for the first time if you are having an issue overcoming this by yourself..
     
  9. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    If the problem continues beyond the advice recommended, speak with your physician.
     
  10. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

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    dude, your totally normal. I never had that issue for the 8 years I had been having sex and then this one girl I'm about to have sex with and I can't get it hard.....at all. It sucked, I felt like such a loser. It happened multiple times.

    Trust us all, your totally normal. Penis size is more a myth than anything. You will learn how to use it. I know this isn't a huge moral boost but your going to suck the first time, your not goign to know exactly what to do but with time. I have a feel that she's pretty excited to show you what to do. She gets to train you to get her off the best way.

    Enjoy it, don't put some much stress on yourself. All will go well. I'm thinking of pulling the vigra route myself just in case the next time this shit happens.
     
  11. id seriously reccomend the viagra thing... not permantly or anything, but just to get through the begining, until your comfortable..
     
  12. BlaXicaN

    BlaXicaN Active Member

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    i think every guy has this problem.
    i know that when i was younger i would bust fairly quickly and easily but now that im 26 which is still relatively young i guess, i sometimes have the limp problem. i think in my case it is stress related... because when i wake up in the morning it's easier to bust but after long day it can be difficult sometimes
     
  13. XJ3B

    XJ3B wat

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    i dont think you want to go the viagra route.

    you are gonna do it, then next time you think you need it again, and again, and then finally you really do need it
     
  14. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    Step 1) NO MORE PORN
    For my first time I was afraid I was only going to last 10 seconds. So I wanked off 3 times that day, and when it came to "perform", well I failed.

    Step 2) RELAX AND STOP WORRYING
    Seriously, its your first time. Its expected to be bad, but you have to start some where. So enjoy it and if she truly loves you she will help you improve.

    Step 3) YOU WILL GET BETTER
    The second girl I slept with was willing to work with me. She pretty much just told me what she wanted in a subtle way.


    Overall, stop watching porn, relax and just have fun!
     
  15. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    yea well this isn't the first time, and it happened with 4-5 different girls, and it's killin me inside, i have a pretty good life, im social and have some friends and this thing is drivin me to depression.. that's why i don't think i can just talk to the girls or ask for their help anymore.. i know it is performance anxiety thing, which might have prolly started because i have a average penis and i was very worried about the size when girls first see it.. not anymore but the anxiety from those first failures carried on.. I read about alot /of people using viagra/cialis, for this problem and of course they perform great and then start stoppin to take the drugs.. And i'm pretty much set on doin that..
    I'm gonna go see a doctor in a couple of days, i heard they don't hassle you on givin you some of these pills.
     
  16. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    hey guys thanks for all the replies... i know there isn't much wrong with my penis but it triggered this performance anxiety thing 2-3 years ago, and when i'm foolin around with a girl, that's all im thinkin about even though i try so hard not to think about it which makes it even worse

    also i think i made condom sound like the ultimate problem but main the problem isn't condom. I think, the problem is i know i'm about to have sex and that is when the condom goes on.. anyways i'm goin to visit the doctor tomrrow to get some pills, i just know after a couple of times on pills i will be comfortable enough.. I read about too many people online (googling) that solved their problems using these.. usually they were good to go without any problems after the second time.. And most of them are like 20 years old and doctors didn't give them any hassle over prescribing it.. so i guess it won't be a problem tomorrow
     
  17. shiyan

    shiyan grabbing titties in amusement parks OT Supporter

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    I meant it gets better after your first penetration + climax :o
     
  18. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Well, seeing a doctor isn't a bad idea, regardless. Let us know how things go.
     
  19. Xin

    Xin OT Supporter

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    Good luck. It's probably mostly mental. It happened before and you're worried about it happening again so it does. Stuff like that.
     
  20. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    It's definitely mostly mental. I had the same issue when I was younger.

    There was also the issue that I couldn't feel a goddamned thing through the condoms, even the ultra-thin ones, and without the physical stimulation there was nothing to offset my mental state and that was it.

    It doesn't help that most women instantly internalize it when a guy can't stay hard, because obviously guys don't have conscious rational minds or anything, and so it must be because their tits aren't big enough or some shit like that. And if you're the sort of guy who's actually sensitive to a woman's feelings, that only reinforces the problem.

    But to be fair, since it hasn't happened to me in a while, I really don't know how women over the age of 20 deal with that kind of situation.

    I will say that the one time I successfully recovered from it in mid-intercourse was when my girlfriend was on top, so the idea that only missionary or (WTFever the non-indecent term for doggy-style is) will work is nonsense.
     
  21. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    well so went to the doctor yesterday, and i told him exactly what my problem was and he said it was a common problem among people my age and he gave cialis 20mg to me, without any hassle.. He said to come back for viagra if this didn't work. Of course called my girl up, took a pill.. It did say that the first time might not work but i was very hard during whole night.. She actually just left, and she gave me a blow job before she left... Anyways last night, same problem happened again, i put the condom on, and didnt lose the boner really fast but it went a bit soft, soft enough for me not to be able to penetrate her.. anyways i made sure to get her off twice, like shakin and stuff so anyways, we still had a pretty good night since i was hard so easily...

    I only got 2 pills from the pharmacy since they were fuckin 20 bucks each, and i'm gonna try the second one, and also i think i need some new condoms, i think the condoms i have are too tight, they are the regular durex ones, and i'm 6' so i don't know if those could be too tight.. But anyways which condoms should i look for?
     
  22. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    jesus $20 each I had no idea they were that much :eek3:

    Try trojan magnums, the regular ones were way too tight for me too and its not like I'm hung like a porn star or anything either :o You don't want it so loose that its going to come off though
     
  23. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    Your problem could be the condoms are too tight in diamater, not length, and it cuts off the bloodflow. You can look around places like Condom Depot http://www.condomdepot.com/ and get a sampler pack and try different ones until you find some you like.

    Edit: You can try this place to, they have good prices and lots of selection. http://www.condomusa.com/
     
  24. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    so here's an update, i haven't been able to try again because she's on the rag and she says she goes for like 7-8 days.. so i guess we'll be goin at it sometime this weekend again.. and i will let you guys know how it goes

    on another note, when i had kinda "wet" dreams (never came in my sleep) i would always wake up before the penetration, or penetration would just get delayed until i woke up... and i haven't ever paid attention to this but last night i had a dream where i was with the girl i'm seeing ( i never see people i know in these dreams, just random girls) and i actually penetrated.. i dunno but i think it might have something to do phsycologically or something... i dunno
     
  25. Foot Soldier

    Foot Soldier New Member

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    Theres been a lot of good replies and a lot of ways to help you out, but heres my 2 cents.

    1.You say you can get a BJ and fool around without worrying, so how would you let that, mentally, stop you from penetrating? What do you really think about when you're putting the condom on?

    2.Stop thinking its your 1st time, stop thinking about the size, stop thinking about everything, just get that mental spot that you do when you get a BJ. Its practically one in the same.

    You have to believe its not an "Anxiety" if you can stay hard while fooling around then your not scared of a girl "not liking your size."

    You say shes on her rag and you have to wait some time, my suggestion would to be stay away from any type of sexual contact even doing it yourself. Make your body really want it, foreplay a bit then go for it, when the time comes. You shouldn't need the pill since you can get it hard for other things, and sometimes taking the pill will work but the next time w/o the pill it wont work and you don't want to be depending on them. Or you can try the pill and hope it works, whatever the case is, don't be ashamed and stop thinking about it. Theres a way around it and your just going to have to find it by process of elimination.


    Best of Luck.
     

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