Sex necessary in a relationship?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Homeless, Apr 6, 2006.

  1. Homeless

    Homeless New Member

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    To make things nice and short i've been going out with this girl for 2+ years and we've only had sex mabye 2 or 3 times within the last 6 months. Of course I brought it up to her, but she responds with "is it necessary?"

    I asked her if I was bad but she said no and I wouldn't dare ask if she was cheating on me (because I don't think she is), so what am I to do. I figured I had to get this off my chest since it's eating me up inside
     
  2. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    She sounds like a nut to ask that question.
     
  3. kuno

    kuno .... OT Supporter

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    Was she a virgin before you?
     
  4. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    no, its not. but sexual compatibilty is.
     
  5. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    What can I say ... what can I say.

    Ask if she's cheating on you. Think about it. Assuming she isn't, if you ask her if she is, then it will make her realize that, yeah, it's a problem. Gawd, "is it necessary??????????????????????????" Is love necessary? Is anything necessary?
     
  6. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    nothing is necessary. all you need is food, clothing, and a place to sleep.
     
  7. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    yeh, i would say compatibilty is necessary to make a relationship work.
     
  8. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    for a relationship to work, so is sex
     
  9. Homeless

    Homeless New Member

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    Yes

    I think I know what you mean, but could you please elaborate on it?
     
  10. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    ive had many relationships "work" even though i didnt have sex with the guy.... just cause you think sex is necessary doesnt mean it is. if both parties are happy, and satisifed, then it works for them.

    you can have a healthy, happy relationship without sex if both people arent interested in sex. two asexual people are sexually compatible.
     
  11. Marijuanair

    Marijuanair Remember to have your pet spayed or neutered! OT Supporter

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    ... yes, that is what all animals (humans) seek the opposite sex, to mate and reproduce. It is why we exist. staying with one person is a decision you make if you enjoy the persons company, but sex is a natural reason to seek a partner otherwise you'd just hand with your buddies all day
     
  12. NJGuy

    NJGuy "Fuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmef uckmefuckmefuckmefuckm OT Supporter

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    It is for me...
    its one of the top reason I would ever be in a relationship.
    So yes... its very necessary for me.

    You need to ask yourself. Is it necessary for you?
    3 times in 6 months? Wow... i would never think that could happen.
    I mean I could see not having sex for X amount of time but normally when people start having sex... they have it.
     
  13. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    to which you repsond "yes"

    let her know it is important to you. ask her what you can do to make it important to her too. does she enjoy it? is she getting off?
     
  14. Homeless

    Homeless New Member

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    The response of yes just leads me into an argument of how it isn't. She tells me she enjoys it but I guess that's not enough to want it. As for getting off she won't let me touch her down (she said it feels funny? no idea) there so unless I can do it through vaginal intercourse it's not going to happen
     
  15. Two toys

    Two toys New Member

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    she sounds like a bitch.
     
  16. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    You could pursue the argument and get your point across. After having sex 3 times in 6 months is pretty damn bad unless you live on the other side of the country...

    She sounds very uptight and certainly not willing to experiment or try new things. This wouldn't work for me, and it sure sounds like it isn't how you feel. I don't think I could stay in a relationship like that for very long at all.
     
  17. the_wheel_man

    the_wheel_man Now I'm stealing her body and taking it home...

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    :werd:

    Call me crazy, but i think in a relationship once you start having sex (which you have) then it becomes a nessicary part of the relationship, and for that to work you have to be both comfortable with the ammount of sex you are having (which you are not)

    If i were you, i would be going insane right now. But then again I have a high sex drive and like to expirment. (me and my ex also used to fuck ~2 times a day :))

    Basicly either sort it and agree on an ammount that you are both happy with or it wont work.
     
  18. Homeless

    Homeless New Member

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    Believe me, I am going crazy. I'm not normally the type of person to post stuff like this, but I figured I needed some advice and most of her friends are my friends so the information would get relayed to her somehow.

    Through the first year we were together, sex was pretty common. At least once per week I would have to say. I can understand how you guys can call her a bitch, but even if the intimacy dies down to the level of where it is non-existant, I doubt I can leave her since she's pretty much become a part of myself...god I feel like such a drama queen being so emotionally attached :\

    I suppose i'll have to talk to her again on friday to see where I can go with this as we won't be seeing each other tomorrow and I perfer to talk about things in person as opposed to the telephone.
     
  19. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    The honeymoon period does die down but jeez, that little action is ridiculous. If it can't be sparked up again it'll always be an issue in your relationship, and that'll cause frustration for both of you.
     
  20. pakman

    pakman New Member

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    80-year old couples probably have sex more often than you guys.
     
  21. sultry33

    sultry33 New Member

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    :) :) yes i think its necessary in a healthy relationship..
    otherwise its just friendship, surely?

    even if it hurts you need to know if she is going elsewhere..

    i dont know how you survive i wouldnt
     
  22. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Another reality apparently
    How old are you? I find it odd to have had sex 2 or 3 times in 6 months. I can see not having any sex, or having a regular sex life, but the 2 or 3 times thing confuses me.

    Did those 2 or 3 times not go well? Is she getting enjoyment out of sex? What other sexual experience do you have?

    I just cant see being in a long term relationship like that, you start having sex, and then it only happens a time or 2 again. Sex is addictive, so unless there were problems, this doesnt make sense....

    And yes, sex is very important to a long-term physical relationship. Short-term, its no big deal.




    Edi: I think i misread some things. The more you say, the more I think she is getting it elsewhere...
     
  23. Foo Lyn Roo

    Foo Lyn Roo New Member

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    IMO:
    Sex is an intrical part of any mature relationship.

    My guess is that you and she are both "younger" and she probably
    has not learned to enjoy sex all that much.

    How is your relationship otherwise? Is she affectionate towards you, but just doesn't like to go THAT far?

    What kind of enviroment are you both in, when you have sex, or want to have it? Is it a secretive thing? Is it relaxed, romantic?

    Some girls are harder to get than others LOL you gotta work it boy.

    But yes Sex is a HUGE part of a relationship, IF it is a mature one.
    If you are both 15 then, well perhaps you shouldn't be bumping like bunnies :big grin:
     
  24. affende

    affende Resident 4X4 Elitest Prick

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    yes....sex is necessary....

    i was in a similar situation last semester....chick was a virgin befor me and we fucked maybe 10 times....after the first few times she said "you know, all we ever do when we are together is have sex....is this all you want from me?"

    keep in mind that we didnt always have sex while we were together...we did fun shit and went out together and what not....but most nights we did bang.

    needless to say, i left her shortly after


    virgins suck.
     
  25. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    It is NECESSARY for a romantic relationship, otherwise you are friends. End of story.
     

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