Sex is for him not me! UGH NO

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by OoOlAlA, Sep 25, 2006.

  1. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    Okay well my boyfriend seems to think sense I cant orgasm that sex shouldnt matter to me. There is no reason to keep going/touch me after he is done, sense I cant cum. Well wtf!! No fair! He wasnt doing what felt good to me so I had asked if we could switch it, and he said what does it matter to you sense you get nothing from it. So I pushed him off of me and got mad. Should I have? After that he did say "why do you even care about sex?" Crap like that. Well sex still feels good to me duh. It not fair that I care about pleasing him so much but, does he obviously not care about pleasing me? Is it so much to ask for my boyfriend of almost 15 months to want to please me? I would do anything he asked me to do. What can I do to make him get it? I am trying to make him understand that I LIKE IT even though I dont climax. I tried explaining it but he said he still doesnt know how he can please me if I cant climax. Is this dumb of me to get mad about?

    Edit: fixed the can to cant
     
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2006
  2. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I think you meant to say "can't" in your first sentence.

    Your bf should want to make you feel good. Can you get off from oral sex? Have him do that to you, too.
     
  3. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Sounds like a pretty shitty bf to me. Is he this selfish in other parts of the relationship too?
     
  4. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    since.

    and communication and compromise. if those dont happen, id move on.
     
  5. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    how old are you guys?

    also, try not having sex with him to get his attention about the issue, then talk to him about it.
     
  6. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    just turned 18 and hes 21. And I have tried not having sex with him. Sometimes I give in and other times he gets really mad, he is super stubborn, I thought I was stubborn, but I dont like when he is mad at me, usually, sometimes I dont care, but I do like to do things to make him happy so...
     
  7. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Fuck this guy is an asshole. He's basically jerking himself off using your vagina.
     
  8. DragonsBane

    DragonsBane New Member

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    I am curious if it is a medical condition that is causing you to not climax or is it just that he cant make you climax? Also, does he have this attitude towards other activites besides sex?

    From what you are saying here he seems to be pretty arrogant but you also seem to be giving into him a bit to easily. Try to be firmer in saying no and if he gets angry at you maybe you should try to find someone who can treat you better. I also understand that you have been together for 15 monthes. Maybe think about if sex is really an important aspect in your relationship.
     
  9. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    i do :ugh:
    only if i love the girl though, otherwise the urge to please goes down with my dick
     
  10. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    wow, he sounds like a selfish jerk. JJJ is right he's basically using you for sex.

    dump him! dump him NOW and find a real man who will treat you well. I'm not interested in sex unless the woman's keen for it too, making someone else orgasm is one of the best things about having sex!
     
  11. StealingBread

    StealingBread New Member

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    Wutta Jerk!

    I havn't orgasmed either, but my boyfriend stills tries and still is always wanting to please me... He normally can't keep going after an orgasm, his body just doesn't let him, but that doesn't stop him frommasking me if i want him to do anything to me, or if i still want sex, and he'll try..
    Your boyfriend sounds like he's either really upset and angry about the fact that you can't come from sex or he's just a selfish bitchhh

    Talk to him, or dump him.
     
  12. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    i think you guys dont talk.

    i think if you do talk and told him whats in this post and you're still with him, its your fault
     
  13. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    based on his responses contained in the first post alone I can only say
    HE IS AN ASSHOLE DUMP HIM


    talking to him will provide false promises at best
     
  14. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Get rid of him.

    When my girlfriend couldn't orgasm we worked hard for 6 months to make sure she could. Now she gets off like a madwoman, and she loves me for it.
     
  15. keleko

    keleko yes, he is

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    :werd:
     
  16. keleko

    keleko yes, he is

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    :dawt:
     
  17. VinylButterfly

    VinylButterfly In Utero

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    This guy doesnt care about you honey, he just wants sex from you and nothing else and doesnt want to offer you anything in return. His selfishness deserves nothing but a kick to the curb. Dump him!
     
  18. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    leave this douche bag. the fact that you've stayed 15 months is a wonder to me if this is how he has been the whole time. At 18 you need to be discovering your sexuality with those that will work WITH you to have your best experiences, not with some asshole that uses you as a warm, sort of wet hole in mattress.

    And that whole "i with held sex then he got mad thing" is teh start of a BAD BAD BAD thought process. Sex is not a barganing tool to use to avoid confrontation or soemthign that should be bartered with. It should be a pleasurable meeting of bodies. You have to want it, he has to want to help you achieve pleasure. This guys seems like he's nothign good for you at all.

    Move on to better things.
     
  19. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Yea that is seriously bogus. If I were a woman, I would have kicked him in the balls and threw him out.

    Flip the situation, if I couldnt get off and my wife was done after her first O and then said that to me...well she wouldnt be my wife :rofl:

    Seriously, that is bogus, and if you stay with someone that treats you like that during something as intimate as sex, then I would question your self esteem. Any woman could do better than that for herself, even if it meant being single.
     
  20. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    He's not an asshole, he just has his priorities wrong.

    Let him know that he gets no more sex until he gets you off, and he needs to get you off first every time from now on. If he can't get you off, then he needs to learn how.

    Yes, some woman are hard to get off, taking upwards of an hour or more, but he needs to try a little harder. If he isn't up for it, I'd bet there are 22,000 other guys who would be happy to give it a shot. ;)
     
  21. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    the way she put it, it seems like he doesn't CARE or WANT to try to get her off.

    in my book, no offense to everyone else out there: that = him being an asshole.
     
  22. JJM Enterprises

    JJM Enterprises New Member

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    He should definitely care... as the girlfriend, you have to tell him what you want/need, and that it does matter to you. Tell him no sex until he pleases you from now on!
     
  23. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Ahh, 15 months without an orgasm. Fucking run!
     
  24. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    Well that was the only time he ever said anything like that. I talked about it with him yesterday, tried to not yell at him. I just get really really frustrated. I dont know if he just got mad that I pushed him off of me or what. I tried to get him to understand. He is my second partner I have been sexually active with and I do beleive I am getting close to climaxing. I get this feeling sometimes that I THINK means I am close. He said he does care about the way I feel and all that so I guess we will just see how it goes. I dont know why he would have said that but it really seems that he does try. And no I do not expect him to keep going after he has came because I know that usually he is unable to. I was saying if I didnt want to be done it would be nice if he would at least touch me. So we had a long talk last night and I think he understands, when he doesnt know what I am talking about or what I am mad about he usually gets frustrated so I hope that is what it was. He didnt seem like that last night..So I guess I will see what happens...hopefully all goes well, and hopefully the feelings I feel do lead up to me climaxing.:x: When I do feel this feeling, really ticklish feeling really low in my stomach, pretty much uncontrolable to where I feel like I have to stop him before I explode he does keep going and tells me that its good I feel that and cant stop. He has to care.
     
  25. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    He just is confused when he gets mad - it's frustrating to him, too. Remember, it's a bad reflection on him if he can't get you off. Most likely, he's just venting because he doesn't understand why you can't get off with him. That's always a bad feeling for men. It always feels like a failure if you can't get your woman off.

    Just keep the lines of communication open, point out that you want to try more, and consider giving him verbal feedback when he is doing it so he knows what is working or not. And also point out to him that he DOES need to listen to you. If that feeling is too much, then he needs to back off.

    Sometimes less is more when it comes to getting a woman off - suggest a lighter touch, etc.
     

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