Sex Hurting the GF

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by miamiheat13, Apr 4, 2007.

  1. miamiheat13

    miamiheat13 New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2005
    Messages:
    16,493
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Florida
    I am having a small issue with my current GF. I am 17 while she is 16. She was a virgin up until 2 weeks ago. When we first had sex, she said it hurt a bit but it only lasted 15 minutes or so.

    Fast forward to today and we decide to go at it again. We were going for atleast 25-30 minutes when she says it hurts really bad and I had to stop. She told me it hurt a lot more than the first time we did it. Its not like I'm huge or anything (around 6") and was wondering how I could make it not hurt so much. We thought having sex atleast twice a week for a while would loosen her up a bit to the point that it wouldn't hurt anymore and she could enjoy it. Are we correct in our thinking?

    Thanks guys.
     
  2. fcheerleader

    fcheerleader New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2005
    Messages:
    22,442
    Likes Received:
    0
    25-30 min is quite a long time maybe she dried up/lost lubrication
     
  3. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    4,994
    Likes Received:
    0
    Use lube, finger her first, make sure she doesnt have an infection.
     
  4. miamiheat13

    miamiheat13 New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2005
    Messages:
    16,493
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Florida
    Oh I didn't even think of that... Maybe some more foreplay would help with the drying up issue?

    edit: I was also using a condom with lube so... hmm
     
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2007
  5. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2003
    Messages:
    8,692
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    i'd say she just dried up, take it easy and remember practice makes perfect. find out what turns her on. use lube if necessary.
     
  6. miamiheat13

    miamiheat13 New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2005
    Messages:
    16,493
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Florida
    How long does it take usually before a women dries up? I guess next time I will do more foreplay and if that doesn't work, I'll get some lube.
     
  7. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

    Joined:
    May 29, 2000
    Messages:
    49,189
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    It varies, she could dry up after 10 min or after an hour. If she always dries up after 25-30 then don't go for that long.
     
  8. miamiheat13

    miamiheat13 New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2005
    Messages:
    16,493
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Florida
    Well that was only her second time having sex so we really weren't sure what was the problem. But now that you guys brought up the driness issue, I bet that is it. Hopefully more foreplay will help solve the problem. :x:
     
  9. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

    Joined:
    May 29, 2000
    Messages:
    49,189
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    No, it has nothing to do with foreplay. If you go to stick it in and it's dry then it's an issue of not enough foreplay. If you are having sex for awhile and it gets dry then it's because you went too long. Vaginas dry up after a certain point, sometimes that point is 10min and other times it could be 60min. Lube might help a little but that dries up pretty quickly too. Lube is for when she can't get wet at the beginning.
     
  10. miamiheat13

    miamiheat13 New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2005
    Messages:
    16,493
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Florida
    So when her vagina dries up, does this mean that I am going for too long or she is just not turned on still? Hopefully not the latter. :noes:
     
  11. affende

    affende Resident 4X4 Elitest Prick

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2005
    Messages:
    6,948
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    in your balloon knot

    when she is no longer turned on, she will stop lubricating.

    get some lube, let her be in control. talk to her about what turns her on and let her guide you.
     
  12. kiri

    kiri New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2006
    Messages:
    25,186
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Miami, FL
    sometimes it doesn't matter how turned on you are, you just can't produce enough to have sex forever. for me it depends on a lot of other factors as well as arousal... i find that if i'm stoned/drunk or dehydrated i produce less than i normally would. lube will solve the problem regardless, it's great :bigthumb:

    also, for me it hurt the first few times i had sex. maybe at that point you started going a little too hard and it was too much for her. once you start having sex more frequently it shouldn't be an issue.
     
  13. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2004
    Messages:
    4,413
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NOVA
    Instead of just fucking her for 25 minutes straight, try going down on her every so often. Lube will help a lot. And check in with a finger to be sure everything is still slippery! Once she dries up, it will hurt, she will become more sore, and generally will enjoy sex less and less.

    A huge lesson I learned is that if sex with a woman is painful more than 2 times, she is going to be more apprehensive about sex in general, which will turn her off, which will dry her up, and in the long run she won't be wanting to have any sex at all.

    Learn where her G-Spot is and use your finger while you go down on her to give her an orgasm.

    If you make it fun for her every time, she'll likely want it more.

    By the way, bravo for being smart and using condoms!
     
  14. miamiheat13

    miamiheat13 New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2005
    Messages:
    16,493
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Florida
    I am now just learning this lesson too. :hs:

    Tonight we went out to a dinner and movie and afterwards moved to the back seat of my car. Earlier today I explained what probably had gone wrong last night with the lubrication issue and she thought that is probably what it was too. So I think she felt a little better knowing atleast why it hurt her. So anyways we get in the back but she tells me she just isn't in the mood. She is afraid of getting caught in the back of my car. I think this is deep seeded from about 2 months ago when we were caught by a cop making out in my back seat lol. :o But I also think she may be a little uncomfortable by sex all together because of the fact that it has hurt her twice now. I told her not to worry about it and just come to me when she is willing and ready again, because I can wait.

    Hopefully she will come around and I can use all of these techniques you guys explained so that it will be enjoyable for her. That way she will be more comfortable about it and not be so apprehensive. Thanks for the serious replies guys, I really appreciate it! :bigthumb:
     
  15. MissJenn

    MissJenn New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2006
    Messages:
    3,776
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Minnesota
    i was told that drinking enough water can have something to do with lubrication? :dunno:

    this happens to me as well (im 21) i will be investing in lube for my next session in a couple months :big grin::big grin:
     
  16. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

    Joined:
    May 29, 2000
    Messages:
    49,189
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    Hard to say whether or not she is still turned on. Being turned on doesn't always go along with wetness. Why are you having sex for so long? Does it take you that long to get off or does she want you to go on for that long? Contrary to what you may hear, most people don't have sex for that long. 10-20 minutes is pretty normal and is plenty of time for both people to get off.

    Are you just pumping away in the same position the whole time? Try changing positions or varying your speed to make it more interesting. Concentrate more on doing different things to her to find out what she likes and try to finish sooner, at least until she starts to enjoy it more. It may take a few more tries before she get into it. At first it's just awkward because you don't really know what to do and what feels good.
     
  17. AlcoLOLic

    AlcoLOLic New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2006
    Messages:
    4,087
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Under the bridge on your way home
    :noes::noes::noes: OMG. When Amanda and I have sex, we screw around for 2-3 hours at a time 3-4 days a week, and she's always soaking wet...I suppose it has something to do with the overall sexual tension in the individual.

    Mental arousal has just as much to do with sex as the physical. Since she's so nervous about being caught in the back of your car, she may have security issues...which is normal at her age. Try to find a place where she can totally relax without the use of drugs or alcohol, she will begin to lubricate naturally and when things begin to flow she will feel even better about the situation.

    I'd say she's just extremely nervous and hasn't found the handle on her body yet. Just don't push it (as I'm sure you won't) and things will go just fine.
     
  18. miamiheat13

    miamiheat13 New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2005
    Messages:
    16,493
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Florida
    Yeah I guess I am going to have to find a better place to make her feel more comfortable about it because she definately has security issues.
     
  19. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

    Joined:
    May 29, 2000
    Messages:
    49,189
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    What do you mean by "screw around"? I don't think you mean that you are continuously penetrating her for 2-3 hours, that is what I'm talking about when I say 10-20 min. With all the foreplay the whole sexual experience is longer but the actual penetration part doesn't last for hours.
     
  20. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2004
    Messages:
    4,413
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NOVA
    Yeah, back of the car is usually a one or two time deal. You need to find a place with a bed where you won't be interrupted.

    And what goes on in your head tends to control how turned on you are. Think about it - if you thought your cock was going to get hurt every time you had sex, in a painful way, do you really think you'd get hard? Of course not. But if you sit around and just THINK about something sexy, you can get aroused. It's all in your mind, so to speak, and one needs to be careful about that.

    In your case, I would recommend a LOT more foreplay for her. If you do penetrate her, take a LONG time to get it in - like 2-3 minutes. Start with just a 1/2" or so, rub around out side, make sure she's wet, and just take it really slow.

    Personally, I tell my woman if it hurts and she DOESN'T tell me I will be mad at her. My ex wife used to not tell me, and it got to the point where we never had sex. I'm not doing that again, that was stupid. My SO now tells me right away if she is starting to hurt, or will say "I think you've only got another minute" to which I try to get off. If I can't get off, I stop anyway.

    If you always leave her wet, sex will always be good, and she will always want more. If I leave a woman dry, I know I went too long.

    A personal motto I have is along the lines of : Always make sure she has at least one orgasm, if not two, FIRST. Once I get her off, then I can get off. If she doesn't get off, neither do I. However, sex is not always about having an orgasm. Never try to make it a "competition" where someone has to "win." Doing that can belittle the fact that you are being intimate together. The whole "Even bad sex is good sex" works for me. :bigthumb:

    You may also want to try other positions. We tried a new one the other night - both on our knees, me behind, kneeling, my arms holding her up around her shoulders (like an L shape position) on the bed. With just a little movement, the mattress did most of the work. Perfect penetration to hit her g-spot with my cock, while I gently rubbed her clit. She came in about 20 seconds. :naughty:
     
  21. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2004
    Messages:
    4,413
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NOVA
    Oh, I should add something. Be gentle with your hands on her clit and lips. Think about it like this - they are basically the same material as your balls, and - I don't know about you, but for me - they are sensitive! Don't press very hard at all, unless she says she wants more. A light tickle is about all you need. Lick your fingers/tips and be sure they are ALWAYS wet when touching down there.

    Communication is key. Get her to tell you what feels good or not.
     
  22. Vixxen

    Vixxen New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2006
    Messages:
    1,442
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    just around the corner
    what about trying different positions? :dunno:
     
  23. Skeletor

    Skeletor Guest

    you're 17 and it takes you 25-30 minutes to cum???
     
  24. miamiheat13

    miamiheat13 New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2005
    Messages:
    16,493
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Florida
    Takes me about 15-20 minutes actually. That particular time I stopped around 15 minutes and went down on her for a few minutes then went back to penetration. I still didn't get off in the 25-30 mins because I had to stop because it was hurting her. :hsd:

    And to Poco, that is some quality advice there and I appreciate it a lot. Unfortunately I can't really find a bed or something similar because my mom doesn't work and is always home and its same with her mom... However I will try the different positions (already tried a few with her such as girl on top facing me, etc) and make sure she is wet everytime. For the next time, I won't go so long even if I don't come. I just want to make it enjoyable for her before she becomes turned off of sex altogether because of the pain. I can deal with not getting off the next few times if it means bringing her spirits back up and making the sex enjoyable for her.
     
  25. miamiheat13

    miamiheat13 New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2005
    Messages:
    16,493
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Florida
    Funny thing is that she is very tickleish in her southern regions... Even when I'm going down on her she squirms and moves about a lot.

    As for the bolded part, I have told her those exact words: "Communication is key." I think she is still shy about her body/having sex so she hasn't really come out and told me what she likes and doesn't like. I am going to continue to stress this so our sex life and relationship can improve. Thanks for the help bro.
     

Share This Page