Sex Getting Boring

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by kmartsbytch, Nov 9, 2007.

  1. kmartsbytch

    kmartsbytch New Member

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    Me and my gf have been together for 1.5+ years now. It seems like the last few months are sex life has gotten very boring and redundant.

    Everytime we have sex it's the same thing. I have to initiate...normally I kiss and massage her alot, maybe go down on her for a bit depending on our moods, and then missionary position until we're finished. She doesn't really seem to put anything into it(although she always seems into it when the act is going on lol).

    She'll very rarely ever go down on me, and if she does normally 30 seconds later she's done. She's normally too "lazy". She doesn't wanna do doggystyle because she says it hurts...when just a few months ago she loved it. She doesn't wanna be on top because she says it hurts...when just a few months ago she said she never feels anything when she's on top. A couple months ago I tried standing sex with me lifting her and bouncing her on my cock...she loved it then, now doesn't wanna do it.

    I dunno, doesn't make any sense. It almost seems like she isn't into me anymore...but she's still always telling me now cute/beautiful I am and how much she loves me and wants to spend all our time together. I try bringing this up to her and she always acts offended...I dunno. Any ideas how to spice things up?
     
  2. Doc Love

    Doc Love Guest

    She's cheating on you, move on, if the sexual activity has changed significantly since a few months ago, she's either cheating on you or has lost all interest. Don't listen to her words, listen to her actions.
     
  3. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    HUGE WARNING SIGNS!

    If sex is supposedly this painful for her, I'd suggest to her that she go see her gyno. If she balks at this (which I get the feeling she will), you may want to consider talking things over with her. If she says "she doesn't want to talk" (again, which I think she will), your best bet would be to probably end things.

    She doesn't want to talk about this stuff, she gets OFFENDED when you bring it up...this seems to me like she isn't mature/cares enough about the relationship to discuss the problem.

    And yes, lack of wanting sex and you always having to initiate it IS a problem.

    As I said, try talking to her about this and the relationship in general. If she is unwilling to, get out, because I bet she still likes sex, and will start getting it elsewhere.

    Also, what she SAYS about loving you, marrying you, being with you, whatever, DOES NOT MATTER. She loves you but won't get into sex wth you? Doesn't make sense.
     
  4. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    if she says it hurts when she's on top, she's lying. even when i'm really sore that's the one position where i can control it and make it not hurt.

    it's weird that she used to do all these things but now doesn't want to... has she changed birth control? gone on any medication? added any new stress to her life? try talking to her about it again but be gentle, tell her she doesn't seem happy and it's manifesting itself in your sex life. sex is important and she should be willing to discuss it.
     
  5. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    LOL jumping to she's cheating on you is rather silly..... I will tell you though, that you really DO NEED TO spice things up. If you see her all the time, see less of her, get some hobbies, get busy! STOP always doing it the exact same way and initiating it in the exact same style, no wonder it's killed....

    Do something out of the ordinary, take her out, take her outside, into an alley way, you name it. Who cares what she says, grab her and take her any way YOU LIKE! you're the MAN, get a back-bone and stand up for your SEXUAL appetite. A woman likes a man who can take-charge!
     
  6. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    initiate outside of the bedroom
    be a perv in public
     
  7. gxlinx

    gxlinx New Member

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    This is Marcus and I support the Statement.
     
  8. TIFFANYHONDA

    TIFFANYHONDA New Member

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    There are many things that make up a good relationship. One of them is having a good sex life. I just love doing things that please and make my man happy and of course interesting for me. I have many girl friends that hate going down on there boyfriend/husband and I really dont know how a guy could live without it. I know if I was a guy I would want it. I like doing it because it turns me on to know I am pleasing him. When it comes to sex you should make sure if she is telling the truth about it hurting that she should see a doctor. When a relationship sex life gets boring there is only so much time where you can stay happy and make it work....good luck
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You're kidding, right?
     
  10. Doc Love

    Doc Love Guest

    Yes, I am, that was the typical vag response, I hope he picked up on it, the only thing I was serious about was the bolded part, meaning he needs to pay closer attention to her.
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Ok, well he's not the typical Vag poster, so he has no idea that you are "kidding" :hsugh:

    Anyway, sounds to me like you haven't communicated with her at all about your distress. You're saying she seems into the sex, so maybe she doesn't think anything is wrong. If you can't tell your partner after 1.5 years that you'd like more head, or like to try more positions then I don't even know why you are together.

    Also, why the fuck aren't you just moving her into other positions? The most boring sex in the world is the kind that goes nowhere new. There is nothing sexier IMO then when a guy takes charge and practically throws me around into whatever position they want. So she says it hurts her to be on top, whatever, there are a hundred other positions you can do as opposed to lame ass missionary to get you off.
     
  12. fray

    fray New Member

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    nice "save"

    Anyway, it's possible that because she's just not into things, that's why it hurts - she's not lubing at all because she really doesn't care, which just makes her want it even less and it's a bad circle.

    I agree with what others have posted. You need to talk to her...find out where the problem in the *relationship* is, as I think that's more than likely what's going on than a problem with sex. If it is just the sex, then you can go on to discuss how to spice things up, or what she would like. If it's not, then you'll know. How often are you asking/initiating? What happens if you just back off?
     
  13. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    :werd: That might help
     
  14. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    I find that hard to believe.

    Anyway, I had a girlfriend in high school like this. She was moving away and some douchebag psychologist-wannabe family member told her to stop having physical contact with me so she could better detach herself emotionally.

    Whether or not this was "good advice" is irrelevant. It hurt like shit, and killed my sexual confidence for a while.

    Well 100 emotional rollercoaster rides later we broke up.

    So, yeah, maybe shes cheating -- but she also might be a lesbian...

    Maybe she lost attraction because you're not a "catch" anymore.
    Maybe she's just bored of you.
    Maybe it's some stress/pressure that's got her at an emotional low.

    Who knows.

    But, I've been there man. I know how much it hurts. I think at least a few people here do.

    And this is a recipe for real emotional pain.

    Talk to her and if she doesn't give you a straight shooter response-- if she dances a bit-- tell her she's taking you on a ride you can't be on right now.
     
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2007
  15. AlliMae13

    AlliMae13 New Member

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    Try talking to her about things. Its possible that she is stressed elsewhere in life and its making her not enjoy sex as much. If she loved doing certain things before, they dont typically become painful within a few months...Like stated before, spice things up a bit, maybe she is just getting bored doing the same things
     
  16. Doc Love

    Doc Love Guest

    You're right, I've been in the original posters position. The girl was cheating on me and I couldn't tell till a month or so ago (this is about a year and some after the relationship is over). I think the best advice he will get is watch her actions, not her words. What she's saying through her actions is, I am not interested in you anymore for some reason and I don't want to tell you why, more than likely cheating. I don't know exactly what is causing this in her, but I know it's not I love you therefore I won't fuck you anymore. That's complete crap. Her actions are screaming something is wrong and this guy can't see it or he seems to be lacking the outside vision. (ie: looking in from the outside of the relationship) What do I suggest to the original poster. Pay close attention to her actions. Not to her words, what she is saying is pretty loud and clear, something is majorly wrong and she's telling you by her lack of sexual interest in you. Now your job is to find out what you want out of the relationship now, if she continues to behave this way, you need to walk away. My ex used to tell me she loved me all the time, but she was the utimate demise for me, even until the last day we were together. Once again, pay attention to what she is doing, not what she is saying.
     
  17. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    nothing gets me wet like some inappropriate advances :bowdow:



    oh, and the little things. people underestimate how important the little things are. :o
     
  18. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Problems with sex are usually indicative of problems in the realationship.
    She is taking you for granted sexually, she doesn't feel the need to put forth effort (probably because she knows you will)
    Does she act as though she takes you for granted in other areas of the relationship? This may be the problem the two of you should be addressing (together)
    Keep in mind, you're sexual relationship with a person is generally a barometer of your emotional/daily relationship with thim.
     
  19. fray

    fray New Member

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    None of what you've said here backs up that it is cheating. Is it a possiblity? Sure, it's always a possiblity. But there are a million other things that could be wrong and decreasing her interest that she may not want to talk about. Sorry you've been scorned, but I think jumping right to a cheating conclusion is a little over the top when they haven't even talked about anything yet.
     
  20. Doc Love

    Doc Love Guest

    I said it's a possibility, I never said it's a definitive.
     
  21. fray

    fray New Member

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    Oh, sorry. 'She's cheating on you, move on' sounded like a definitive to me.
     

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