SRS Sex Drive Rollercoaster

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by ziptnf, Jul 13, 2009.

  1. ziptnf

    ziptnf huh?

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    So I have had a girlfriend for 7 months, and I love her to pieces. She's such a wonderful girl, and all I want to do is make her happy. Sometimes I feel like I lose my mojo and when she wants to please me or have sex with me, sometimes I'm too tired or I get it up but then shortly thereafter it goes back down. She doesn't like it when I look at porn, but I try to do it sometimes just to see if I can fuel my sex drive. It works sometimes, but she clearly gets frustrated when my dick goes limp if I'm not into it at that moment.

    She feels like she can't turn me on, and I don't want her to feel that way; it's just that we spend a whole lot of time together, and I want it to be more of a special thing than an obligation. I want to make her happy, but sometimes my penis just isn't up for it, and that makes her really sad. Shit, during those times, I don't even think that porn would get me excited or ready to have sex. :o

    Does anyone else ever feel like this? I want to make her happy but sometimes I fail at it. This happens occasionally, where I will go for 2 weeks nailing her, but then go for 2 weeks where I don't want it very often. I hope I'm not the only one. All I want is for her to be happy, I want her to stay with me, and I feel like a loser when I can't please her in bed. Any advice?
     
  2. PlayForBlood

    PlayForBlood The rules, rules don't apply to you. You're specia

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    Stop looking at porn\ masturbating.....Then go to a doctor if you still have trouble keeping it up.
    Could be a medical condition causing it, or just stress.
    Either way Viagra or Cialis would probably fix you right up.
     
  3. ziptnf

    ziptnf huh?

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    I'm only 21, is it normal for a person as young as me to take Viagra? I mean, I can certainly get hard sometimes, but not at the times when she wants it. It's like some sort of a happy mixture of emotions, feelings, and whatnot has to be present in order for me to get turned on. I've deleted all my porn, and I plan on never looking at it again while I can't get it up. I feel like this can all be fixed, I just hope she's willing to be patient with me. I think my mojo will return, I just need some time.
     
  4. PlayForBlood

    PlayForBlood The rules, rules don't apply to you. You're specia

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    it is normal if it happens one time and then you start to have anxiety about it which makes it worse and worse
    Viagra may just give you your confidence back and then you won't need it any more after a bit
     
  5. ziptnf

    ziptnf huh?

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    I think that's the big issue. I feel nervous and psyched out when I get ready, and I have a looming cloud over my head that says that I will fail yet again and it breaks my focus. :noes:

    I really do love her, so maybe that would be a good investment, as I don't want to lose her over something silly like this. It may be embarrassing to have to take it, but I'm sure it will help. Thanks for the advice, does anyone else have anymore?
     
  6. Spaceering

    Spaceering I bite.

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    hahahaha. quit looking at porn all together. i have had countless friends with this same problem. and the weird thing was they were also big porn addicts.



    just seriously make yourself stop watching porn completely 100% for at least one year. this includes looking at anyone naked in pictures. you should only be seeing yourself and girlfriend naked. or other people that you know too i guess, just not random pictures of naked girls on the internets
     
  7. ziptnf

    ziptnf huh?

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    Thanks for the advice, I feel like this should also help. Sometimes when I'm bored and she's not around I look at it, but now I know that I need to practice self control if I want to keep her in my life. I'm willing to do anything to keep her with me, so once and for all, I'm going to quit looking at it or thinking about it completely. I have a feeling that after a little while, things will start looking up. :hsd:

    Thanks for the advice, guys.
     
  8. slimjim

    slimjim New Member

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    Well there's certain things she can do that would turn you on. If all you're doing is stripping down and going at it, well that just won't cut it. She's gotta act sexy. You know, say sexy things, doing sexy things. Ask her to make little moaning sounds and grind against you like she really wants it, etc.
     
  9. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    sounds like you have low test
     
  10. OniMinion

    OniMinion ...recalls when this forum was actually about cars OT Supporter

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    WHAT?! It's probably NOT ED especially considering:
    You BOTH need to "act sexy" and there are a lot of things that can probably get you both going. Still, if she has a problem with porn and you like it - then that's a bigger issue. There is nothing wrong with porn (assuming it's legal). The problem lies in her insecurities. I'm sure sex is just sex with you two from the sound of it. If you fall into a pattern, the emotional stimulation (that's right kiddo's, men need mental stimulation as well) is probably lacking. You need to ask yourself a few questions:

    I'm I attracted to her?
    Do I love her?
    Does she love me?
    Do I enjoy pleasing her?
    Does she enjoy pleasing me?
    Do I get my fantasies/desires fulfilled while sleeping with her?
    Does she?
    Do we talk about your sex life, or just have a sex life?

    Communication is very important. Unless you're 350+lbs, out-of-shape, have hypertension and/or diabetes your probably don't have any physical problems. It really sounds like this is something plauging your head (not that head).
     
  11. OniMinion

    OniMinion ...recalls when this forum was actually about cars OT Supporter

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    What does that mean?
     
  12. PlayForBlood

    PlayForBlood The rules, rules don't apply to you. You're specia

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    umm, 21 year olds can get ED induced by stress

    and by low test, he means low testosterone levels - can be checked by your doctor
     
  13. OniMinion

    OniMinion ...recalls when this forum was actually about cars OT Supporter

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    Guess I'm wrong: It's an ED... wait, didn't I say it was probably emotionally related? Hmmm....
     

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