sex buddy etiquette?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by bjonesy77, May 7, 2008.

  1. bjonesy77

    bjonesy77 New Member

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    So I don't think I've ever had a real friend with benefits type situation on my hands until now and wondered how it works. Obviously, we are friends who have sex, but what about all the normalities that are kind of a given when you are screwing your SO.

    Story: ex-girlfriend who I broke up with over 2 years ago and I are part of the same group of friends, so we see each other atleast every weekend if not more. Its fine, no problem, we are really cool with one another and get along well. So last night I get a random text at like midnight just starting smalltalk and I'm like WTF? Its bed time. I tell her I'm going to bed and she says ok I have one more question..."would you be up for getting together to have some casual sex sometime?" I say "sure, as long as we keep it casual I'm up for it"

    I can imagine its going to be a text at like 1am on a friday night after we've both been out drinking all night, which is good because it wont be awkward that way. But how about after? Do I just get up and leave? Do I stay to cuddle/talk for a bit? Do I stay the night and leave in the morning?

    Any advice on the situation is much appreciated
     
  2. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    do whatever you feel like you're able to do without getting attached. it will be extra hard because you've already dated her, so it might feel natural to cuddle and talk. but, this will more than likely lead to one or both of you having feelings for the other again. do you absolutely not want to get back together with her?
     
  3. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    hang out a little bit afterwards and then bounce
     
  4. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Don't cuddle. You shouldn't stay the night if it is easy enough for you to get home afterwards. You don't need to get out ASAP or anything though and can stay and chat or stay and do anything else really. Try not to do a single thing that is BF type of stuff such as cuddling or kissing goodbye etc.
     
  5. bjonesy77

    bjonesy77 New Member

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    I wouldnt mind getting back together with her to be honest, but I'm pretty sure thats not what shes after. Actually, recently she asked if I remembered our relationship and whatnot then proceeded to say something along the lines of "I couldn't see us dating now"

    So I'm pretty sure she doesnt want that. Shes all the time talking about how she wants to be single for a long time and whatnot.
     
  6. bjonesy77

    bjonesy77 New Member

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    I wouldnt be able to hop in my car and drive home, but all of my good friends live within walking distance of her house. So I shouldnt stick around long after? What if she does want to cuddle and wants me to stay the night? Does that mean she really might have the hidden intention of getting back together?
     
  7. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    A lot of the time FWB fail because one of the people starts wanting more and the whole thing fails. So make sure you get it permanently into your head that this is what it is and nothing more or you will sour it quickly
     
  8. bjonesy77

    bjonesy77 New Member

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    Thats fine with me, I just hope she puts her intentions on the table upfront.



    and I have one more "hitch" that I should have put in my first post but I didnt even think about it......this chick has my virginity :rofl: and i kind of have hers (long story about "kinda" but you can probably guess what happend)

    But like I said, Im able to keep my distance emotionally.....I think
     
  9. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    As I recall, XaPU!M's all about the FWB's. XaPU!M speaks the FWB gospel. "He that hath ears to hear, let him hear." Enjoy the fucking
     
  10. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    You don't necessarily have to split the second you're done. Unless it is awkward or something, but then that would be a sign this won't happen very often.

    But after the deed is done you should just be acting like you are nothing more then friends, and do nothing more then friends do. Don't cuddle, etc. You don't want to do ANYTHING that is BF-esc. When the lines start blurring because of what you/her are doing (cuddling, acting more as a couple then as friends) then it will spell doom for it and could even ruin the friendship (assuming obviously that at least one of you doesn't want a relationship and the other does).
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    ibfail

    You want a relationship with her. Failing is pretty much expected.
     
  12. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    :werd:

    Me, too, but definitely go for it because

    - you may not fail
    - you will have sex
    - you will learn something either way
     
  13. bjonesy77

    bjonesy77 New Member

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    I dont want, but I'd be open to a relationship if it happend.

    However if I'm judging by what she says, she doesnt want one. Which is fine, as long as thats on the table before hand. How do I go about setting the rules/intentions of it? Just say something before hand? Or should I screw her, then talk about it. That way I got atleast one fuck out of it if she turns out to want something I dont
     
  14. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    given the comfort level, i don't see why you wouldn't talk about it in advance
     
  15. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    agreed. and, because of the history you two have together, i think its almost required. and on top of that, you have said you wouldnt mind getting back together with her. you could get attached if you dont spell out the rules beforehand. just ask her what shes expecting or wants from this, and see if its something you think you can go along with. if she just wants you for sex and then to send you home, as long as you are fine with it, go for it. just be careful about not getting attached.....
     
  16. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    I don't see a problem with after sex cuddling... but I wouldn't stay the night.

    I had a FWB once and she always wanted me to stay the night but I typically would leave after 20-30 minutes. I wanted to make sure she knew it was a "no strings attached" type deal. I did stay the night every once in a while though to keep her happy about it. It lasted for about a year until she met someone.
     
  17. aim2kill

    aim2kill New Member

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    speak up front, you seem pretty in-tune w/ each other
     
  18. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    with my old fb, i had no problem with the other stuff afterwerds. Usuually we would watch tv/movies for a bit, play, cuddle, sleep, and I would rape her a few times in the night. Basically the cuddle part was her reward for putting up with my sadist side.

    Wouldn't hang out, wouldn't call/text her any other time, etc...




    but for other casual ones ? none of that shit. Just stay in bed long enough to relax, catch your breath, etc... then bounce.
     
  19. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Whenever i've had casual sex i've been REALLY averse to the idea of doing something as intimate as cuddling or pillow talk, if I were you i'd have sex, a sammich, and then head out.
     
  20. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :werd: I'm not looking for a bf, I'm looking for a "FUCK BUDDY."
     
  21. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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  22. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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  23. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    I have like three levels
    casual
    friend
    dating


    casual, in out, don't even need to know your name. stay just long enough to relax unless the roommate or dad or husband is banging on the door.:mamoru:
     
  24. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    I LOVE cuddling, but like kissing, i like to keep it for people I care about
     
  25. bjonesy77

    bjonesy77 New Member

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    so if you are having casual sex, you dont kiss?
     

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