Background info: http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=3996376 I've posted here in the past and have felt like crap a lot. It seems though things keep getting worse. basically I have stg 4 melanoma (cancer) and am on the downfall towards the inevitable. that alone is depressing and the main reason i'm currently so sad. but then other people are making it even harder. i asked my dad whom i rarely talk to to come visit a few weekends ago as i want to kind of settle our problems and his words were something of "no because you're nothing but a faggot and live with your boyfriend." that pretty much crushed me and spent that whole weekend depressed. as my body gets weaker and shit i just end up sleeping a lot or just laying in bed and i'm sure that isn't helping my morale. not sure what i can do about that though? invited both my parents up a few days ago, mom cancelled day of and my dad just never showed up. i'm just trying to be friendly and they keep shutting me out. not to be a downer but i dont know how much longer i have and i want to spend it with family and friends but no one feels the same way towards me is i guess what i'm saying. any ideas on what i could do to hang out with them? then last night i woke up late (8PM? i dunno) and went to get a soda around midnight. i live in an apartment complex and theres a vending machine. i went to go get one and these drunkards started hollering down at me asking if my "roommate" and I were "gay for each other" and calling me a fag and stuff. I just kept walking though...I buy my shit and they end up coming down and just like fucking with me. walking up/down stairs is tiring enough for me, let alone fighting back...anyway long story short is a whole lot of verbal abuse, pushing me over and htting me a few times and then them leaving. basically it just sucks and now i feel like a piece of shit even more. i basically just hate life now. i cant do anything and it seems as if everyone hates me or doesnt know i exist. ugh, that was long, but just any help on not feeling so depressed? i take anti depressants already but they dont really help for stuff like this. i just want to be happier and enjoy my days/weeks/months/(year?) of life...all these fuckers are making that very hard to do though. /vent.