I've always had some trouble around the holidays because I'm really pretty much completely on my own. My father died when I was 10, and in march I finally decided to move out and since that time I've all but severed every tie I have with almost anyone. I was always kinda short on friends but they all look down on me because I didn't go to college (yet) and so I don't really talk to anyone anymore. Anway, earlier today it just felt like I smashed into a giant stone wall I went from feeling a little meh to probably the worst I've ever felt. It feels like all of a sudden nothing good will ever happen in my life. I don't know how I could go from feeling relatively fine to just feeling like I seriously want to kill myself. I've never felt this way before its like I'm high on misery and I'm just standing all alone in the rain looking at a path of broken dreams and all the good things that might have been. It sounds corny but its such an oppressively heavy burden I can honestly feel it wresting on my shoulders. I just want to curl up in a corner and die.