how do you help a self-destructive, bulimic friend overcome their behaviour? it's been two years of bingeing and purging for her and she's beginning to get weird, random nose bleeds! and i don't know what to do, but to just be there for her! i respect her a lot, but she doesn't seem to see that in herself! she hates taking compliments, and easily shuns my efforts to 'stop' her from being self-destructive! 'you're cute, skinny and smart and a great person, why do you do this to yourself?' just does NOT work for her! she also has a bit of a physical impairment with her foot from birth that may play a part in her self-consciousness (she was in a wheelchair for a few years due to a foot defect when she was a kid!) i used to have major self-esteem issues (i was once raped, and have been still trying to get over it) and we used to feed off on our negative behaviour together a few years ago! but thanks to offtopic, i've been better!!! to be honest, it was all internal motivation that helped me change a bit from being a cutter, but i myself still struggle with self-esteem issues (sometimes i do binge and purge myself) at times! I know she does want to change, but she refuses to seek counselling and third party help. This has got to stop! But I don't want to force my agressive help onto her. So I sit there listening to her rant, and not arguing back because she shuts me down or I am afraid that she may feel guilty if I say something wrong to offend her? I'm also insecure in the sense that I'm afraid that she'll bitch about me (in which she has in the past) and I've noticed the pattern that she likes to backtalk some of our friends and it makes me feel uncomfortable, and I'm afraid of being bitched about behind my back! Might I also add that wre're not confrontational either!! I need some advice OT'ers!!!