"seeing" multiple girls

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by THoC, Feb 17, 2010.

?

girls only please

  1. be completely ok with it.

    9 vote(s)
    12.0%
  2. you think im an ass, player, etc

    2 vote(s)
    2.7%
  3. be sort of ok w. it but now weary of my intentions

    13 vote(s)
    17.3%
  4. other. please explain

    3 vote(s)
    4.0%
  5. im a dude and wanna see poll results!

    48 vote(s)
    64.0%
  1. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    when single i would much rather have girl A step into the picture. we see each other... decide if there is chemistry.... move on either way depending on outcome.

    however, this is normally what happens. girl a, b, and c step into the picture.

    im VERY sensitive to people's feelings in general. eventhough i know im in the clear as long as i say "i just want to date and see where this goes.....". i cant help but feel like an ass for saying the same line to multiple girls while i pretty much decide which one i like, if any at all.... enough to date mutually.

    i assume most guys will agree with me that as long as i make my intentions clear im not an asshole.


    i would like to get the girl's opinions.

    say you met me. i took you out on a date and during said date i say "i am looking to go on a few dates and see how we feel about each other".
    you later find out that i went on a date with another girl and explained the same deal.

    would you:

    poll coming....
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    be sort of ok with it but now weary of my intentions
     
  3. Gogoplata

    Gogoplata Guest

    don't tell em. fuck em. they are doing the same thing. dating and finding a partner is all about #1. you're not looking for 10 partners. you're looking for one. If you find one that you really like - you'll stop dating the others. When you find "the one" you'll have no interest in playing the field.
     
  4. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    It would make me uncomfortable because I would feel like I was sort of in a competition to be with you. I'd probably be less invested in you as well as less likely to show any intimacy but I would continue to give you a chance. I sort of have the more traditional view of dating and think that you should only focus on one person at a time.
     
  5. Gogoplata

    Gogoplata Guest

    this.

    don't tell them.
     
  6. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    i agree 100%. BUT.... what if girl a is "the one" and i do not tell her that "i am looking to date and see where it goes".

    she later finds out you lied and lose her.


    *** keep in mind this. i dont go to the girl on first date and announce my intentions. however, if topic comes up i am not going to lie and say "i want to take you and only you out on dates to see where this goes".
     
  7. Gogoplata

    Gogoplata Guest

    If you date a girl, click, decide she is "the one" and she finds out that you were dating multiple women casually at the time you met and you didn't tell her and this is the reason you "lose her" - she is most certainly not "the one"
     
  8. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    i voted completely ok with it. isnt that what dating is about? i would start to get weary if things started to get more serious, but in the very beginning, neither party is committed to the other, so its not wrong of you to date one girl on friday and another on saturday if you are trying to find out if you click with either girl. if you keep this going past dates 3, 4, 5, thats when i would have a problem with it
     
  9. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    Why are you having any talk about the subject at all so early?


    keep it vague, or just refuse to talk about it that early on. The truth is you really don't know. There is no lie in that.
     
  10. JoJoBee

    JoJoBee Hanging out with my chicks! OT Supporter

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    be sort of ok w. it but now weary of my intentions

    I am with CS on this about the competition part. I also would feel as though you would be less invested in getting to know me during the few dates to see where it went because I am being compared to the other candidates as well and maybe when looking at other candidates you might also confuse some things or mix some things with other wimmenz... Not only that but I probably would start to look around to gain prospects as well and might become less interested seeing as though I am just an option.

    If the topic were to come up though, I would feel kinda hurt but then ok with it because it is just that... dating. I would definately appreciate your honesty though. Communication is big and so is trust.
     
  11. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    :werd: well put
     
  12. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    2nded. I'd be ok with it if you didn't want intimacy.

    I think honesty is always the best policy. If you are not exclusive, it's good to tell the person, because she might assume otherwise. If she is smart enough, she would appreciate your honesty.
     
  13. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    2nd'd.

    It feels weird to have a guy doing the same things with you that he is doing with other girls. Kinda makes you feel less special I guess.
     
  14. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    if we date I promise you'll be my one and only :mamoru:
     
  15. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    :werd:
    :mamoru::kiss:
     
  16. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    i cant argue against it and see your point.

    mind you im not trying to disagree with you. i agree 100%. i just want to know how the ladies would feel about knowing they are not the only one.


    im not bringing it up. but, if/when they do i will not lie about it.
    keeping it vague would to me come across even worse than simply being honest. women are not stupid.... :hsugh: :mamoru:....... if i just remain vague instead of being up front they would sense im hiding something.

    ok so only two girls would understand right off the bat that dating is just that.
    most of you so far would one way or another be impacted by it. interesting.

    that i can def understand. i normally pretty much have an idea by date 3.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 18, 2010
  17. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    eh.. people are just so different. I assume every girl i date is seeing other people. I know what Ive got to do if i don't want that to happen, so thats a decision I have to make. If i don't girlfriend her up i don't see how i have any right or reason to be annoyed that shes seeing other guys.
     
  18. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    I am not trying to fool anyone, im just saying that something like "I don't believe that things are exclusive until both people in the relationship discuss it and agree to it"

    clearly gets the point accross, without screaming "I'm dating other women right now, so you better pull out your A game if you want me to keep you in the running"
     
  19. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    i see what you are saying now.
     
  20. giz

    giz Active Member

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    I dont talk about it, dont see a point.
     
  21. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    but we don't know if you are special yet
     
  22. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    let me ask this to the ladies....

    out of 16 votes only 5 would be ok with it.

    so, say you meet a guy you like. you make your intentions known that you do. but he never asks you out (the reason he doesnt is bc he is currently going on a date or two with another chick. since he knows most girls would be at least bothered he doesnt make a move)..... then a few weeks later he does ask you on a date bc (you dont know this) he has figured out other girl is a no go.

    would you be bothered that it took the guy a few weeks to ask you out although you made your intentions very clear?


    keep in mind these girls are being semi aggressive. its not like im talking to them and there is no push for a date where i can just lay back and wait to see whats up w. the other girl.

    for example:

    me: that movie wolfman looks pretty bad ass.
    girl a: maybe you should take a cute girl to see it with you!

    me: cant wait to see drop kick murphys in a few weeks.
    girl b: oh ive never seen them but would love to go with someone ;)

    you get the picture.. the girls are hinting at hanging out so if i ignore them bc im "dating" girl c would it not make you ladies lose interest in me since im showing none for you by not inviting you?


    *** guys, for the ones that say dont bring it up. i dont. trust me. but the girl does.... antihero gave a good message to deliver. but even his, in the end, would make any intelligent woman get the hint.
     
  23. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    i probably would have moved on already. you basically would have put me in the friendzone. you dont like it when we do it to you, and we dont like it when you do it to us either

    how serious is this "dating" you are doing with these girls? are you kissing all of them? going further with all of them? just hanging out?
     
  24. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    not really since guy's friendzone is far from a banishment.
    As far as possible.
     
  25. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    :werd: :werd: and :werd: @ antihero.

    Btw guys, if you're reading this and thinking, "Doesn't 'weary' mean 'tired?' Don't they mean, 'wary?'" The answer is twofold.

    1. Yes.
    2. You can actually speak the fucking language.

    :fawk:
     

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