Say your 23 years old...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by KeeperOfAcheron, Sep 10, 2005.

  1. KeeperOfAcheron

    KeeperOfAcheron I dub thee Sir Phobos, Knight of Mars, beater of a

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2003
    Messages:
    2,621
    Likes Received:
    0
    And the girl you have been kinda dating and you just began the "i love you's" phase of the relationship. You are a mature person who is sick of the dating game. Your life is organized and your career has already takin off.

    She is a great gal, everything about her makes you happy, and you enjoy every second with her... (including the sex). She wants to go as far as possible and brings up future plans a lot. But you do enjoy every second with her and she has only made your life better from the moment you met her.

    She is beautiful and has a pretty nice body also. Problem = she has 4 kids :eek3:. She is only 25 with four kids :eek3::eek3:

    The kids are great and all, but is that just something bad to get involved in? She is not going after money or someone to raise her kids to a degree. She even makes more money then you.

    Whats your choice in the matter? Keep going and be happy with a great person you've found or try and break it off before you dig yourself a hole and break hearts if and when you want out.
     
  2. Steve Grabacock

    Steve Grabacock New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2005
    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thats tough because if you get close to/with the kids, If you want out it will be shitty. But at the same time she sounds great. What happened to her baby daddy?
     
  3. KeeperOfAcheron

    KeeperOfAcheron I dub thee Sir Phobos, Knight of Mars, beater of a

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2003
    Messages:
    2,621
    Likes Received:
    0
    Well, thats a odd story. She was from the philipines (sp?) and was forced into a marrage and had one kid with that guy. The day she turned 18, she divorced him and left him since she did not like him. After him, she was in a relationship for 7 years and had the other 3 kids with that guy. She stuck by him that long although he treated her like shit. She finally broke it off with him. He is barely around...either of them.
     
  4. Steve Grabacock

    Steve Grabacock New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2005
    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    0
    what are you scared of exactly? She sounds great, if there were no kids in the picture, no worry right? Just consider there will be 5 broken hearts if you get deeply involved and then want out. Id say date her w/o the kids for the most part, and then decide. If 5 hearts is too much to risk, walk away.
     
  5. KeeperOfAcheron

    KeeperOfAcheron I dub thee Sir Phobos, Knight of Mars, beater of a

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2003
    Messages:
    2,621
    Likes Received:
    0
    I dont know I guess...we have been togeather 5 months...I do like everything about her if she didn't have kids. I have nothing against kids and hers are adorable, but there is just something inside thats telling me I am making a mistake even though when I am with them I am happy. Maybe its because I fear what others will think? Or maybe that she has already experienced something in life that I haven't 9 (4 times actually). I dont know.
     
  6. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2005
    Messages:
    2,906
    Likes Received:
    0
    Instafamily!!


    Thank you but no thank you. Been there done that, never again. There are millions of girls in the world. One of them is bound to be just as great as her but w/o kids
     
  7. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    7,705
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Another reality apparently
    Wouldnt do it in a million years. I hate kids as it is, and to have to deal with 4 of them that I wasnt even the real father of, on a long term basis...HELL NO. Like was said, there are other girls in the world, find one that carries less of a burden.
     
  8. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2005
    Messages:
    1,302
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Seattle, Washington
    Instafamilies just don't feel right, and with 4 already ( like I could see 1 or 2 MAYBE ) you don't have a chance in hell of having another of your own with her... well you do but 5 is a crapton.
     
  9. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest


    There's little chance you will meet someone who HASN'T experienced something you haven't.
    it seems a little bit early in your relationship for things to be going so seriously honestly. and if you have ANY doubts about it, please for her children's sake leave them out of your relationship with their mother!
     
  10. rkf76

    rkf76 New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2004
    Messages:
    559
    Likes Received:
    0
    wow. that's a tough one. You have to take alot of things into consideration, are you ready for fatherhood? She may not tell you she wants you to be their father, but that's a role you'll play be default. 4 kids is a tremendous responsibility. How many different baby daddy's? Damn dude, if none of them were mine, I think I'd have to step, that's alot of kids, especially at the age of 25
     
  11. Mojo

    Mojo New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2005
    Messages:
    2,442
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bay Area, CA
    never. thats one of the worse things i could think of when getting deeper with a woman
     
  12. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2004
    Messages:
    4,608
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Melbourne
    She sounds awesome, I don't see what the problem is unless you really hate kids? It wouldn't be an issue for me...
     
  13. almostnormal

    almostnormal OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2003
    Messages:
    1,344
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maine
    You want to make sure she really loves you, and isn't just looking for a daddy for her kids and someone to help out around the house, etc.

    I'm not saying she's a bad person, but some gals in her spot will do most anything to get out of it. If she really doesn't love ya, you could be making a mistake.

    Its not unlike drowning and clinging to anything that floats.. you don't want to be a life preserver.
     
  14. uf20wop

    uf20wop OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2004
    Messages:
    34,455
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    PBG, FL
    kids ftl
     
  15. If you like the kids, and you see a future between the two of you, dont break it off because of something like that.

    but i think the biggest question you should ask yourself is, if you decided not to go for it because of the kids and all that, would you regret it? and how long would you regret it? Would you always wonder "what if"?
     
  16. teo

    teo . => ? => !

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2004
    Messages:
    3,094
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Eh?
    Well, you did eventually find out that she has 4 kids and you haven't run screaming yet. That's a positive sign. I'd say it's a bit too early in the relationship to judge... wait and see how things go. With the kids it's hard because if you don't spend time with them, the 'big picture' of what life could be like later will be skewed, but if you do spend time wiht them and later decide to leave, it'll be one big mess. If you love her and you like her and she's fairly self sufficient, then continue a great relationship ftw :dunno:
     
  17. KeeperOfAcheron

    KeeperOfAcheron I dub thee Sir Phobos, Knight of Mars, beater of a

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2003
    Messages:
    2,621
    Likes Received:
    0
    I do spend lots of time with her and her kids. The kids are fine and I have no problem with kids normally. I love kids. But I have never been in this position with them. I just spent the whole weekend with her and her kids. I was never annoyed at any point with them and if anything, they brought out the kid in me.

    I am just scared because I dont want to hurt anyone in the long run. What if it doesn't work, that would be a horrible feeling knowing I not only broke the girls heart, but the kids also.

    She promises we would always be friends.
     
  18. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    um sure she promises you will always be friends. But how often does that happen in a breakup?
     
  19. BoypussY

    BoypussY game over.

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2000
    Messages:
    51,953
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    IN YOUR HEAD
    id personally stay away from anything serious. you're only 23 and you're probably fresh out of college. you life is just beginning and you don't want to get tied down by a girl who was already knocked up 4 times. not worth it.
     
  20. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,466
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    the streets
    if you honestly believe she isn't looking for a father for those kids, you are fooling yourself.

    she'll be married soon, either to you or someone else
     
  21. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,466
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    the streets
    with single or divorced women with kids, I always look at how they make me interact with the kids. If you haven't seen her long and she doesn't "force the kids on you" and makes you act only like friends around the kid, then I take that as a sign she is actually interested in me as a person, not how I can help her and her situation.

    If she immediately tries to get me together with the kids, putting them on the phone or trying to get me to spend time with them, all the while being lovey-dovey in front of them, then I know she is looking for a father and I'm not interested in that.

    In my opinion, a woman who will let her kids see her romantically involved with many men in a short amount of time is not relationship material for me.

    You really have to put your attraction for her aside and try to see the big picture.
     
  22. dscallaway69

    dscallaway69 New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2004
    Messages:
    461
    Likes Received:
    0
    first of all you are asking if you should get serious, shouldn't you have thought about that before you got to the "i love you's" phase. That sounds a little serious, but maybe that is just me. Now the second thing and the big thing is, do you want kids of your own. I don't see anything wrong with staying with her if you like kids. Enjoy it and as long as between the two of you, you can be financially stable that is great go for it. Now the thing is if youd do want say 2 kids of your own you are going to have 6 kids all together. That is alot of kids
     
  23. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2005
    Messages:
    2,906
    Likes Received:
    0

    :werd:

    Dont ask me how I know tho:wtc:


    Oh snap. I cant fucking believe I overlooked this awsome system to see if she likes me or if just wants a helping hand.

    Less than two months into an old relationship she started bringing her kid along about 2 out of every 5 times we hung out.

    She used to let him cuddle with us in the couch.

    And she was always encouraging the kid to show me his new toys and shit.

    Live and learn I guess.:hsd:
     
  24. S4Driver

    S4Driver New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2004
    Messages:
    1,154
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Portland, OR
    QFT, listen to this.
     
  25. rkf76

    rkf76 New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2004
    Messages:
    559
    Likes Received:
    0
    but she ain't messin' with a broke nigga
     

Share This Page