Say you don't pay for your gf...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Falconer, Feb 27, 2007.

  1. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    You know, cuz you don't supplicate. When your gf and you do stuff, most of the time you split it 50/50. You both work, you're both of similiar socio-economic status. You can both pay if you want to do/eat something.

    So what happens if she has old fashioned parents who think you're a total ass for not paying for her? You can't win an argument with someone's mom.

    Imagine the following conversation between me and a female:

    Her: So you don't pay for your gf?

    Me: Why should I pay for her time? I don't want to buy her affection. I want to know that she is with me because she likes spending time with me, and not because she gets a free meal out of the deal.

    Her: Wow. My parents would never let me date a guy like you. My father always paid for my mom and they would expect my bf to pay for me.

    Me: Does your mom work?

    Her: No.

    Me: Ok then. Your mom has no income of her own so your dad has to pay for her. Women wanted to work. Women wanted equal rights. Part of being equal is paying your own way. If a girl agrees to go out with me because she knows I'll pay for her, how do I know she really wants to be with me and she's not just going because it's free for her and she'd rather do that than be bored at home alone?

    Her: You're an asshole. Men should pay for women because it's part of taking care of them...

    Me: So if a guy making $30k a year is dating a woman making $200k a year, he should still pay for her because he's the guy?

    Her: Well... uh...

    Me: It's ok. A girl making $200k a year probably wouldn't date a guy making $30k a year, anyway. :rofl:


    Anyway, I could only imagine if this girl was my gf. Her parents would hate me.

    Actually, my ex's parents hated me because I wouldn't pay for their daughter, either. They were old fashioned. I should state that my ex's mom didn't work. My ex did.
     
  2. [DWI]

    [DWI] Master of Nothing

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    I'm confused, what is your question?
     
  3. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    So what happens if she has old fashioned parents who think you're a total ass for not paying for her?
     
  4. Jacy

    Jacy red lipstick brigade

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    That's how my parents are too :dunno:
     
  5. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    I don't mind paying for most things.
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    That's not necessarily old fashioned...that's being kind. You don't by any means have to pay for them for everything. But there is a mature thing called "compromise" where you can go out with your SO and have one person pay for one thing and have the other pay for the next thing.
     
  7. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    Yeah thats what I used to do. I would pay for dinner and she would pay for the movie.
     
  8. deuceforty

    deuceforty between rupture and rapture

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    my gf pays for her and me...
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Exactly. Falconer has had this whole debate before and it just blows my mind that he honestly thinks it's "normal" to go out to a restaurant with a gf and expect for the check to be split? hah

    When I go out with my SO we switch off. Like right now I know I owe him a dinner. So when we go out next I will pay for that. It's common courtesy.
     
  10. [DWI]

    [DWI] Master of Nothing

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    the first few dates I paid for everything (and when you start a relationship that is long distance and dates are like 4 or 5 days round the clock) anyways after a while we switched to splitting the costs.

    If the girl is happy with the plan you have what does it matter if her parents don't like it

    "a woman never realizes how much she cares for a man until her parents disapprove."

    being too buddy buddy with her parents isn't the greatest thing for a new relationship anyways.
     
  11. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Fine. I'll rephrase.

    You and your gf alternate paying. It all roughly evens out in the end. Problem: her parents have an issue with it, and think you're a cheapass because of it. What do you do then?
     
  12. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    You really dont need to have this conversation with her parents period. It probably wont come up
     
  13. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    It came up toward the end of my last relationship. My gf hadn't thrown enough insults yet my way, so she added that her parents hated me, too, because I didn't pay for her dinner every time we went out. She said her dad always pays for her mom, I said "your mom doesn't work and therefore has no income so she can't pay for herself!" Shouldn't have used logic with a female. Oops.

    Note: My mom doesn't work, either. My dad pays for her. But my parents are MARRIED so it all comes from the same place anyway.
     
  14. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    If that's really the case then who gives a shit. As long as the girl doesn't care then it shoudn't matter.
     
  15. calisteph6

    calisteph6 Active Member

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    I usually let a guy pay like ~3 times until I start making him let me pay. Before then I offer...but kinda half-heartedly. Then after than we switch off...if he does make more money maybe he'll pay like 75% of the time or something. No splitting the check though, that's just weird.
     
  16. LBFilmGuy

    LBFilmGuy LOL why u mad tho?

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    the first year or so of my last relationship i would always pay everytime we went out, after that we usually split the bill 50/50

    In the early stages of dating it is "expected" of the guy to be the one to pay, unless of course you find a woman who doesn't go by what society has put in place
     
  17. hi2u2

    hi2u2 New Member

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    if you have a gf with old fashioned parents, pay for her sometimes, and that way her parents cant really complain, cause you do pay, just your gf helps out sometimes.
     
  18. ArthurPewty

    ArthurPewty New Member

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    Like other people said, just because her parents do it doesn't mean that you have to. Just like you wouldn't necessarily discipline your kids the same way her parents disciplined their kids. Or just like how you might not want to stick to missionary for the rest of your life.

    Sounds either really passive-aggressive (i.e. she couldn't say it herself) or, like you suggest, she was reaching for that last really good dis to crush you and failed.
     
  19. fray

    fray New Member

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    .

    why wouldn't said girl defend you to her parents and explain that she doesn't care and what the situation is? doesn't seem like it should be all on you.
     
  20. drinkdran0

    drinkdran0 New Member

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    hahaha i had the same conversation with a guy about this before

    basically, we're just spoiled brats, period.
     
  21. ArthurPewty

    ArthurPewty New Member

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    I typically will pay for at least the first few dates (I'm somewhat traditional), but perceive the woman offering as a good indication of "character", or at least shared values.

    The woman I'm dating now has said a few times that she's spoiled, but what spoke more to me was when, on our second date she said "I've got it" when the check came.
     
  22. mattz87

    mattz87 Active Member

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    Fuck... I've been with a chick for a month and half now, probably have went out to eat 7 or 8 times, movies 3 or 4 times and I've always paid. I'm getitng the shaft.
     
  23. ArthurPewty

    ArthurPewty New Member

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    Yeah, paying all the time kinda sucks, but wow, getting the shaft too?! Ouch, that's got to hurt!
     
  24. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    uh, why would her parents even know/ever find out? :hsugh:
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2007
  25. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Cuz she tells them I guess.
     

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