FRK Rules for FB/FWB/NSA sex?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by shohan, Jul 16, 2009.

  1. shohan

    shohan New Member

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    Sorry to all as I'm sure this is probably covered somewhere. Please link if it is. I checked as best I could in Vag and FS.

    Situation is I'm in a position to start having some NSA sex with a girl that I've known for a while. Met her at her work and have talked quite a few times. She approached me with the situation and I'm not against it. I realize the importance of rules in situations like this. In the past I've had a FB and was very honest and open about my expectations. I'm being the same way with this chick. I've already told her that I don't want a relation, she came back with it being just NSA.

    The complicated thing on her side is she has a boyfriend and a child with him. Normally, I am NOT one to ever help someone cheat on a SO. In this situation I am less strict with that moral as she has caught him and he continues to cheat on her. Their problem, not mine (yes, it could become my problem real quick. I understand this.).

    I've talked to her about some basic rules as far as no drama, no relationship. We're discussing boundaries and what not. I'm curious as to other suggestions from people in similiar situation. I'm going to talk to her more on the situation, but I'm definitely looking for some freaky, NSA sex without a relationship etc. Also, should I distance myself from her outside of the sex? She's in retail position with a lounge for customers. This is how I met her and I hang out there every couple of days. Sometimes she isn't working when I visit which I don't care one way or another. I ask because the last FB situation she started to have feelings for me. I gently stopped that situation real quick as it was not my goal.

    So any ideas, suggestions, experiences, stories?

    Thanks.
     
  2. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=3794707

    A group of us discuss our relationships (poly, swing...whatever) and some of the rules we have, the evolution process and such. Most of us did not have set rules in the beginning, perhaps one or two "don't ever/will not ever"s.

    The rules come from being upfront and honest with the other person, discussing what both parties really want and immediately talking about anything that "doesn't feel right".

    Rules should be revised as need.
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2009
  3. razi

    razi New Member

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    that sounds like a very, very bad situation to get yourself into.
     
  4. shohan

    shohan New Member

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    Yeah, definately need communication. Totally, understand that. And it probably is a bad situation. Looks like I need to give this one up. No big deal to me.
     
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2009
  5. Drunken Karnie Midget

    Drunken Karnie Midget In Yeo We Trust, All Others Pay Cash OT Supporter

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    Sorry to burst your delusion, but that's not an NSA situation. You're being used for revenge (yeah, not a problem on your end...) which means drama, and you'll be smack dab in the center of it. you may not have any dating/emotional requirements, but when that thing reaches critical mass, you could be looking at a possible nuclear strike directed at you, or be Brazil to Nazi leaders after WW2... Capiche?



    goddamn that was horrific grammar. hope the point still gets across.
     
  6. shohan

    shohan New Member

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    Wow, I never looked at it from the revenge perspective... Or the modern warfare perspective either. Yeah, the situation has the potential to get so much more out of control than a normal NSA/FB situation. Looks like I need to pop smoke and call for a pickup. :wavey:
     
  7. Drunken Karnie Midget

    Drunken Karnie Midget In Yeo We Trust, All Others Pay Cash OT Supporter

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    :werd: Skyhook that shit if you can. Tell her if things fall apart, you're more than willing to pick up the FWB roll, but while shes officially in a monogomous relationship, you'd rather steer clear.
     
  8. Elfling

    Elfling New Member

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    :rofl::rofl: That's such an awesome way of putting it.

    In my poly "rules", I've always insisted that nobody is cheating. If their SO doesn't know and approve, it doesn't happen. God knows there's enough drama even with willing participants.
     
  9. Drunken Karnie Midget

    Drunken Karnie Midget In Yeo We Trust, All Others Pay Cash OT Supporter

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    yeah... but he's looking at being the fb of a chick who's fucking him to get back at her boyfriend for fucking around on her. Not a poly relationship, but a miserable monogamous one.
     
  10. Elfling

    Elfling New Member

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    Oh yeah, I got that. The real reason I insist on that is honestly less from a moral standpoint than a practical one. The situation he's describing has HUUUGE blowup potential. I prefer to keep my drama on the TV.
     
  11. Drunken Karnie Midget

    Drunken Karnie Midget In Yeo We Trust, All Others Pay Cash OT Supporter

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    i prefer to avoid it all together. VH1, and it's plethora of reality horseshit FTL!
     
  12. Elfling

    Elfling New Member

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    Oh god, I wasn't even thinking of stuff like that :rofl: I was thinking more True Blood/House sort of thing.
     
  13. Drunken Karnie Midget

    Drunken Karnie Midget In Yeo We Trust, All Others Pay Cash OT Supporter

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    house:cool:
     
  14. shohan

    shohan New Member

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    Why not the obvious TV show here? Dexter? I can't wait till September for the show to return and the 4th book to be released.

    I'm going to talk to her more, but I told her if she's doing this to stir up shit then it probably shouldn't happen again as we already got together once. I told her things would be different if shew were single, but as she's not this has the potential to get out of hand. She seemed to understand, but I'm not sure she is with me on it.

    Did discuss with her other things as far as not telling anyone, like once a week, no marks or bruises for obvious reasons and other sensibile things. She was online with all that. And I've reinforced multiple times that I have absolutely no wish to get into a relationship with her or really anyone at this point in my life. She said she's not going to fall in love or anything, blah, blah.

    Still, I did a little test yesterday to see her reaction. I was at her work, relaxing in the lounge, and talking with her and her coworker. Well, a friend of hers/theirs came in. She was pretty good looking in a cute little skirt. Well, after a bit she left and I got up and walked around so that I could watch her walk away from the store. Basically, checking out her ass. At the same time I'm watching her I can see the FB who was at the register. I can see her look at me, glance where I'm looking and look back at me. Turn my attention to her and her eyes go to the register. I guess I can't really describe it, but it was definitely something that seemed, to me, to not be liked by her. I was pretty much trying to see what type of reaction I'd get out of her. Jealousy, anger, something. She obviously has to realize that she may not be the only one. Anyways, the reaction I got wasn't very convincing to me.
     
  15. Drunken Karnie Midget

    Drunken Karnie Midget In Yeo We Trust, All Others Pay Cash OT Supporter

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    Yeah, Abort! You're walking into a shitstorm there son.
     

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