SRS roommate is getting married in Napa and I don't want to go

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by black jesus, Dec 26, 2007.

  1. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I'm basically my roommate's best friend. We've lived together for a few years. Recently she and her fiance became complete slobs and our relationship is wounded. They're going to Napa for the wedding, then hanging out for a week.

    I do not want to go because I'll be the only single person there with 5 groups of couples. Frankly I don't want to spend $1500 on a week there to hang out with a bunch of married people. If I could get a date for the wedding, I'd be happy to go.

    Its my fault because I could not get a date, but I'm really thinking about telling them both that I do not want to go. I'm going to be miserable there either with the couples or alone.
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Geez, I was going to come in to say to go for sure. Do something new for once and meet a bunch of people...but leave it to you to turn it down just because other couples might be there. Socialize man, you really need to. And even if your friendship isn't the greatest it's pretty dick to turn down their invite.
     
  3. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    Napa is in the middle of nowhere, and very few single people will be there. I don't really want to drop $1500 on the fucking trip, especially if I'm not going to have fun. Its not that other couples will be there...imagine when everyone decides its time to be romantic or they want a date outting...there's one guy who won't have anyone to be with, and others feel like its their responsibility to entertain me. I can sit around alone and miserable at my house for free.
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Do you honestly know for sure that there will not be one single person at this entire wedding? Sounds like you are depressed, don't want to do anything and are just talking yourself out of anything, money aside.
     
  5. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I know everyone on the invite list because its a small group. I travel for work about 90% of the time. I'm tired of going everywhere alone. I know I'm probably depressed but I don't see how a trip like this can sound like a fun time for anyone.
     
  6. LS Boy

    LS Boy OT Supporter

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    if they are paying for it, id go if i were you. its a great experience in napa if you love wine
     
  7. V!

    V! New Member

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    I wouldn't shell out the money either....$1,500 is alot of money
     
  8. polishillusion

    polishillusion New Member

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    i hope they are not getting married and keeping a roomate
     
  9. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    fuck no. They're lazy pigs. I'm getting a house with a friend who I track with frequently.
     
  10. OhFourTwoThree

    OhFourTwoThree New Member

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    I'd go for only two days due to the cost. Whether you have a date or not, you should still attend to support your best friend.
     
  11. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    This is what I'm thinking. I'd rather take vacation when I didn't have to go alone.
     
  12. daaarn

    daaarn New Member

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    i'd normally say go, but since it sounds like you're not too close w/ your roomie now (plus $1500 is a lot of money), i'd stay home.
     
  13. polishillusion

    polishillusion New Member

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    LOL the married life
     
  14. Dodger Blue

    Dodger Blue OT Supporter

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    $1500 is a lot to spend on a trip that you're not very comfortable with. If they were going to help pay some of that I'd say go for sure just because it will probably be the only time you ever go there.

    Nobody on this forum can know exactly what type of relationship you have with your roomie now simply from reading what you said. I can def see it being awkward being around married couples or even couples for that matter. Because you are right, they are going to do there alone time at least a few nights during that vacation and you will be by yourself.

    Just tell your roommate that you're sorry but you won't feel comfortable going on the trip by yourself and you're not to crazy about spending that kind of money. Get them a nice gift and wish them the best.
     
  15. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    If you don't want to go, don't go.

    It's your life.
     
  16. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    no, I'm still unsure. I've thought about getting them a really nice gift instead of going on the trip.
     
  17. ForALoafOfBread

    ForALoafOfBread mmmbop

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    $1500 is a lot; especially for a trip you don't want to go on. is there any way you could just be present for the ceremony - maybe staying for 2 days won't be as much as staying for a week :dunno:
     
  18. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I can sit in my hotel and go to dinner alone at home. I don't need to book plane tickets, hotel, and a rental car to sit around with nothing to do. If I could have scored a date in the past 6 months I've known about this, it would be a different story. I've done 3 vacations alone, I'm tired of it.
     
  19. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    no, I told them I was going a long ass time ago, but still have not booked my flight because my lease ends during the trip.
     
  20. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I'm undecided. wtf?
     
  21. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    yes. The only con is pissing off my roommate. I'd save money, have a chance to embark on a vacation at a later date which I'd enjoy much more, get everything moved and not stay later in my apartment, and not have to deal with a bunch of shit I don't want to.
     
  22. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    lol trust me, go stag to a wedding and BANG A STRANGER! its so easy at weddings!! Even a caveman could do it
     
  23. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    only 15 guests are attending and I'm the only stag.
     
  24. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    you are saying that you

    a) wont be at a bar- great place to get laid.
    b) wont be in a hotel - great place to bring a chick
    c) wont be at a wedding reception w/family and friends? bang your buddies sister/cousin/mom/w.e

    it sucks tho b.c usually the wedding party is paid for by the bride n groom (hotel and airfare at least) for a destination wedding

    also wont hey have an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen?
     
  25. Stilgar1973

    Stilgar1973 New Member

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    It is?
    $1500 is a lot of money.

    I think these destination weddings are a dick move. I mean, if the couple wants to get married in Napal and have there parents there and after they get back hold some sort of reception at home, that is great. But to EXPECT that people will dust off there Visa's (the document), take off a week from work (or more), spend $1500 for a vacation AND get a Wedding gift for a couple is just asking too much.
    Take the word EXPECT out of it and replace it with, 'to ask nicely' and it isn't quite as bad.

    Just tell your friend that you can't make it come together. Offer to get some people together when they get back and have a nice reception or something.
    But if your friend doesn't understand, I think that is your friend's problem not yours.
     

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