Roommate: friends "girlfriend."

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Dj2500, Sep 4, 2007.

  1. Dj2500

    Dj2500 New Member

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    I apologize for the short book I wrote in advance, I usually deal with my own problems with the opposite sex and its worked fine until now but this one is just leaving me very unsure of what to do so I come here anonymously to see the help of random people on the internet ;)

    Two of my friends have been dating longer than I have known both of them (dating for about 5 years). They are very off and on. Neither of them claim to be “together” and when I’ve asked the girl what the situation is she has said “it’s very hard to explain and even I don’t know what’s going on half the time.” They have broken up a few times over the years and gotten back together, he has cheated on her and honestly he takes her for granted and treats her like shit. Now usually I avoid situations like this like the plague, because its not my place to do anything, but over the years I’ve known the girl I have really started to care for her. We have become very good friends and I haven’t felt this way about a girl in a very long time. Most of my recent relationships have just been short term (under 6 months) because I just haven’t been able to connect on a mental level where I don’t get bored or they start annoying me. This one is different. She is awesome; hilarious, smart, beautiful, and not only can she put up with my sarcasm; she fires right back with another joke of her own just as bad.

    Until recently the whole situation has never really been a problem because of distance. I have known them since the very end of high school but now I live a few hundred miles away and only see them every couple months when I’m in town for business. Well (un?)fortunately she is going to be moving here to Clearwater sometime early next year. She is moving here for school, and wants to move in with me as roommates to save money. We are good friends and there is without a doubt a “sexual tension” between us. I know it, she knows it, and we have talked about it, even kind of acted on it a little bit…. Her just moving down here could make or break their relationship and she has said she is worried about it.

    Part of me would love to live with but I don’t want to live with her if all I am going to be is a fuck buddy. I’m not content with being the “other guy” basically just being used for a couple years then she runs back to him. I know most guys would love to have a live in fuck buddy with no attachments but for some reason I don’t feel that way about this one. (I think I am finally growing up lol.) But at the same time I don’t want to miss out on a chance with a girl I really like and can honestly see myself being with for a long time. This is a real fucked up situation I am in and don’t have anyone local to consult with because we are in a tight knit group of friends even with the distance. If they do split I don’t want to feel like I was the cause of it, but I also don’t want to sit back and let their crappy relationship continue. I don’t want to tell her the way I feel right now because making things awkward between us would be the last thing I want to do with her moving here not knowing anyone, and her basically moving away from all her friends, family and everything she has ever known.

    I guess this is a little deeper than just a friends girlfriend being my roommate haha.

    So, comments, experiences, lay it on me. Just writing all this out was very therapeutic and I already feel better, even if I am still unsure what to do and how to handle the situation.

    .Mike
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    This sounds like a fucking nightmare waiting to happen. If she is so smart why doesn't she just finally break up with her douche of a boyfriend when their relationship is so shitty? Oh I bet I know why, because she's weak and holding onto him, not you.

    Her moving in with you to be your "roommate" when you have feelings for one another is going to possibly be disastrous. If a relationship does start it's going to move a million times too fast just for the fact that you live together. If she doesn't breakup befpre moving in it's most likely going to start a hell of a lot of drama between you and her boyfriend/your friend. You've already obviously admitted (even to her) that you have feelings for her, so being a "fuck buddy" is not in the cards for you. If you guys don't work out you will then be living with her while she brings other guys home...Just think about it.
     
  3. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    whatever you decide to do, don't let her become an important part of your life from a business standpoint, ie don't go into a lease with her.

    Tell us more about this guy that takes her for granted. Is he your friend, or just some guy you know?
     
  4. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    this is all bad.

    don't let her move in unless she's single and over the other guy.
     
  5. skurge

    skurge New Member

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    RUN.......
     
  6. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    DO NOT MOVE IN TOGETHER. I know from personal experience. It will not end well.

    I'm from Clearwater BTW. :wavey:
     
  7. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Not worth the awkwardness, drama, and all the shit that could go down in this situation.

    Don't be roommates with her. You will have absolutely no space/closure from her if things go badly (assuming they go well first)
     
  8. amalgamas

    amalgamas OT Supporter

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    I've lived this exact situation and I can tell you that the best course of action is staying the fuck out of it. You may want her, and she may on some level want you; but as others have said, if things go south (and they most likely will) it's going to go south hard. Which if she's on the lease, ends with you living with an ex who will be bringing other men over if just to spite you and/or her jumping ship and running, fucking you over two fold.
     
  9. julia!

    julia! New Member

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    I'm with everyone else. if you want to go for it than really expect the worst. and DO NOT MOVE IN TOGETHER.
     

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