Road Test - 2004 Dodge Ram SRT-10

Discussion in 'OT Driven' started by TriShield, Jan 27, 2004.

  1. TriShield

    TriShield Super Moderator® Super Moderator

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    PRESIDENTIAL TOWER, GREAT AGAIN, NY
    A rupture in the family.

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    BY JOHN PHILLIPS AND BROCK YATES
    PHOTOGRAPHY BY AARON KILEY
    February 2004

    Memo to: Csaba Csere
    From: John Phillips
    Csaba, I'm not sure I should be the guy writing about this truck. Remember my Viper review (November 2002)? I recall a lot of hissing, some dark threats, a blanket apology or two. Didn't you have to mail out pricey Xmas gifts to smooth that one over?

    Memo to: John Phillips
    From: Csaba Csere
    Editors who are assigned a road test are expected to complete that road test. It's not a difficult concept. If you didn't get enough seat time, talk to Yates. I saw him driving the SRT-10, and I think he liked it. Don't get me into trouble over this, okay?

    Memo to: Brock Yates
    From: John Phillips
    Hey, Brock, did you drive this brute? Moses in a muumuu, man. There’s a whole Viper driveline in there, did you know that? That’s insane. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fabulous engine. Who’d complain about 500 horses, right? But why attach it to a 5139-pound rear-drive truck with the traction of a gravy boat? You know, a Saturn booster rocket is powerful and fast, too, but it’s not particularly useful in rush-hour traffic. I’m willing to accept the concept of a 153-mph hot-rod truck the day I see it carrying a load of drywall to a job site, you know? If a guy wants a two-seater that costs $45,795 and runs like a Corvette, why not buy a Corvette?

    What does “SRT” stand for, anyway? Stupid Republican Tricks?

    John, you trembling liberal weenie. Let’s get this straight. I like the SRT-10. I love the SRT-10. Any pickup that’ll suck the headlights out of your beloved tea-bagger roadsters is all right by me and the rest of us beer-drinking, smoke-’em-if-you-got-’em real Americans. The only thing the SRT-10 needs is a big “No. 3” on the back window and a gun rack inside. If that offends you and your weepy pals, I suggest you go back to Canada where your real roots are planted.

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    Brock, you Heston-hugging hunk of hubris. I’ve warned you about calling me a weenie. My grandmother called me that. Also my mother. My girlfriend, too.

    Listen, I’ll admit to liking the SRT-10’s steering—accurate, even light, which is amazing, because those 22-inch Pirellis (what’s that, a “dub plus two”?) must each weigh about as much as Orson Welles. And the clutch is lighter than I expected, although I still can’t depress the pedal through an entire red light. The trick seats are fine, too—aggressive bolsters that aren’t intrusive. So, see, there’s that.

    But don’t tell me you enjoyed the spindly foot-long Hurst shift lever. You’d replace the knob with an eight ball, right? You ever try to find reverse in this thing at night? I’ll bet you even liked the pushbutton starter. Probably reminds you of the Eliminator. Well, pal, does the Eliminator also make 83 decibels of racket at wide-open whack? Shouldn’t we be considering a pair of OSHA-approved ear protectors, here?

    John, you Twinkie-eating teat. The second-gen Eliminator is also Viper-powered, so, unlike you, I’m accustomed to the big-decibel sound of success. I’m almost deaf to prove it. Actually, I wish Dodge had sexed up the exhaust pipes, as Ford did with the SVT F-150 Lightning. You know, side pipes like a NASCAR Craftsman truck’s? Either that, or four straight exhausts out the back, each the size of Kobe Bryant’s... [Don’t start with the toilet talk, okay?—Ed.]

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    Brock, you Limbaugh-licking lackey. Maybe you were drunk and didn’t notice that this truck rides like a truck. I don’t want to hyperbolize, but those mono-tube Bilsteins are so unyielding as to blur my vision. The bed shakes and shimmies like a wet hunting dog, and I noticed a nice collection of trim bits vibrating in a paint-shaker dance that’s sure to end in tears. You’ll need a caulking gun at every service interval. Don’t believe me? Take Pam for a ride and see if she makes it as far as the Cannonball Run Pub before she bails on you. You’ll wind up having to date women who first ask for a Visa imprint.

    John, you pathetic, punctilious pansy. I’ve heard that Parking Lot Princesses take cash only. I’ll admit that the shift lever, which is roughly the size of the late John Holmes’s... [You’ve been warned, Yates—Ed.], rattles under hard acceleration like a porn star’s vibrator. But, hell, pumping out enough torque to overturn an M1A1 Abrams main battle tank doesn’t come without penalties. Try to be a man about it, okay?

    Brock, you beetle-brained, trough-feeding bloviator. Zero to 60 mph in 4.9 seconds is not the be-all and end-all, okay? Although, I’ll grant you, it did get my attention because it’s three-tenths quicker than the SVT Lightning. Still, it’s the same acceleration you could achieve by, say, jumping out your bedroom window some night. You should try it.

    All I’m saying is that the Chrysler guys got it right when they created the little Dodge SRT-4. Six fewer cylinders, an actual back seat, 2219 pounds more eco-friendly. The SRT-4 goes 153 mph, too, you know, and it stops 17 feet sooner. Nearly the same skidpad grip. Only 3 mph slower through the quarter-mile. Costs $25,800 less. See? What I’m suggesting is that we all try using a dentist’s pick instead of a jackhammer.

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    With this truck, what are you supposed to do after you leave the drag strip?

    Do you know how much torque this V-10 makes? Well, okay, me either. But it’s probably enough to qualify as wasteful, okay? Shouldn’t we be using that energy to fund national health care?

    John, you granola-gutted gelatinous git. The only two important components of Newtonian physics are torque and recoil. Shifting the SRT-10 under power is like firing a Barrett M82 .50-caliber sniper rifle. As for the choppy ride, you need some stiffness in the rear springs if you’re gonna haul enough Bud for a full evening of demo-derby thrills. You effete city types pack a bottle of Chablis and some Brie—well, that ain’t the SRT-10’s mission, Mister Ballet-Butt.

    Brock, you bilious bard of bombast. In the rain, you can spin the SRT-10’s rear tires all the way through first and second gears, assuming you can keep the thing on the portion of highway that’s actually paved. What are you gonna do, write your initials in Pirelli script all over America? I bet this thing’s a real treat in the snow. Holy smokes, I used to think Sam Kinison was the definition of crudeness.

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    John, you hand-wringing, bed-wetting hysteric. Some say Kinison died the true American way—driving like a maniac in an overpowered Pontiac Trans Am. Which is better than the fate you face—crashing your Segway scooter while heading for a Gordon Lightfoot concert. Get some starch in your wrists before Jimmy Spencer knocks you into next Thursday.

    Brock, you conservative-clucking crock of cottage cheese. Like the Opel Speedster and the original Hummer, this truck is a nice thing to drive as long as you don’t have to get anywhere. I have just two words for you, and one’s not “buzz” and the other’s not “off.” Fuel mileage, Brock. Fuel mileage. This thing sucks more juice than Anita Bryant at a Key West bake sale. I’m warning you, Brock, this is the sort of thing that causes the French to hate us.

    John, you flaccid-wristed Francophile. Of course the French hate us! What better endorsement for the SRT-10? Maybe we can use one to batter down their embassy and run those pansies off to the perfumed Parisian brothels where they belong. Fuel mileage? With high-test still less than $2 per gallon and OPEC on the ropes, who the hell cares? It’s reactionaries like you who keep screeching, “Power to the people.” Well, here it is, pal.

    Brock, you subcutaneous canker on the chapped lip of humanity. You notice the SRT-10 has a real hood scoop that isn’t attached to anything? Remind you of something? Your brain, perhaps?

    I’ll give you this: Hot-rod trucks are capable of transporting me to a simpler era. Last night, this one made me want to jam cherry bombs into my neighbor’s mailbox and enter Sigma Chi’s fart-lighting contest.

    John, you simpering sorority sister. Sigma Chi is a fraternity, so how would you know anything about it? And I’ve got a good notion where else you might want to jam those cherry bombs. You have Spencer’s number? I’m calling him right now.

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    Brock, you pretentious pile of genetically engineered pork. Your defense of hulking trucks reminds me of Fay Wray when she said, “King Kong sure had nice fur for a giant stinking ape.” I’ll give you this: After you blow the clutch out of this baby while towing your speedboat up to the islands, you can always use the twin exhausts as eaves troughing. One other good thing about the SRT-10: It’s got a built-in compass so you shouldn’t have so much trouble finding your ass.

    John, you whiny, wet-eared wheat eater. If you love the French so much and have spent so much time in Canada, you already know where your ass is. All I can say is that the SRT-10 rocks. Of course, it could use an extra 100 horses for hauling my Donzi and towing the Eliminator and helping me run my new drywall business now that you probably got me fired. In the meantime, go back to Toronto with your draft-dodging buddies where I hope you overdose on Tim Hortons apple fritters. They’ll bury you in a vat of maple syrup beside Margaret Trudeau.

    Know what, Brock? Your breath stinks.
    Maybe so, but I’m not the guy knitting sweaters for Perry Como.
    You shave your legs before swimming.
    Your floral arrangements suck.
    Your lawn’s in poor repair.
    Your Haggars droop in the butt.

    Memo to: Csaba Csere
    From: John Phillips
    Csaba, I think Yates fell into the Chivas again. He’s not talking to me anymore. You should fire him. Replace him with Norm Schwarzkopf, maybe. That’s my advice.

    Memo to: Csaba Csere
    From: Brock Yates
    Csaba, I think Phillips has been grazing too long inside NPR’s members-for-life lounge. His brain has turned to spätzle. You should fire him. Replace him with Arianna Huffington, maybe. That’s my advice.

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    BROCK’S VERDICT
    Highs: Smoky burnouts on demand, intimidating styling, annoys Phillips.

    Lows: Shifty shifter, sticker price of a triple-axle double-wide.

    The Verdict: A Viper that hauls drywall. Plus, it annoys Phillips.

    JOHN’S VERDICT
    Highs: Zero to 60 mph in 4.9 seconds.

    Lows: Cement-truck ride, cement-truck noise, fuel mileage worse than a cement truck’s.

    The Verdict: Rude and crude, but it’s the current king of hot-rod trucks.

    -----

    C/D TEST RESULTS

    ACCELERATION in Seconds
    Zero to 30 mph 1.9
    40 mph 2.6
    50 mph 3.5
    60 mph 4.9
    70 mph 6.2
    80 mph 8.2
    90 mph 9.9
    100 mph 11.9
    110 mph 15.3
    120 mph 18.4
    130 mph 22.6
    Street start, 5-60 mph 5.7
    Top-gear acceleration, 30-50 mph 12.5
    50-70 mph 12.3
    Standing 1/4-mile 13.6 sec @ 105 mph
    Top speed (drag limited) 153 mph


    BRAKING
    70-0 mph @ impending lockup 184 ft

    HANDLING
    Roadholding, 300-ft-dia skidpad 0.86 g

    PROJECTED FUEL ECONOMY
    EPA city driving 10 mpg
    EPA highway driving 15 mpg
    C/D-observed 12 mpg

    INTERIOR SOUND LEVEL
    Idle 51 dBA
    Full-throttle acceleration 83 dBA
    70-mph cruising 73 dBA

    Vehicle type: front-engine, rear-wheel-drive, 2-passenger, 2-door truck

    Price as tested: $45,795

    Price and option breakdown: base Dodge Ram SRT-10 (includes $795 freight), $45,795

    Major standard accessories: power windows, seats, and remote locking; A/C; cruise control; tilting steering wheel; rear defroster

    Sound system: Infinity AM/FM/satellite radio/CD changer, 5 speakers

    ENGINE
    Type V-10, aluminum block and heads
    Bore x stroke 4.03 x 3.96 in, 102.4 x 100.6mm
    Displacement 506 cu in, 8285cc
    Compression ratio 9.6:1
    Fuel-delivery system port injection
    Valve gear pushrods, 2 valves per cylinder, hydraulic lifters
    Power (SAE net) 500 bhp @ 5600 rpm
    Torque (SAE net) 525 lb-ft @ 4200 rpm

    Redline 6000 rpm

    DRIVETRAIN
    Transmission 6-speed manual
    Final-drive ratio 4.11:1, limited slip
    Gear Ratio Mph/1000 rpm Max test speed
    I 2.66 8.3 50 mph (6000 rpm)
    II 1.78 12.4 74 mph (6000 rpm)
    III 1.30 17.0 102 mph (6000 rpm)
    IV 1.00 22.1 133 mph (6000 rpm)
    V 0.74 29.8 153 mph (5100 rpm)
    VI 0.50 44.2 153 mph (3500 rpm)

    DIMENSIONS
    Wheelbase 120.5 in
    Track, front/rear 68.0/67.4 in
    Length/width/height 211.6/79.9/74.4 in
    Ground clearance 8.5 in
    Drag area, Cd (0.43) x frontal area (35.8 sq ft) 15.4 sq ft
    Curb weight 5139 lb
    Weight distribution, F/R 55.6/44.4%
    Curb weight per horsepower 10.3 lb
    Fuel capacity 26.0 gal

    CHASSIS/BODY
    Type full-length frame
    Body material welded steel stampings

    INTERIOR
    SAE volume, front seat 65 cu ft
    Front-seat adjustments fore-and-aft, seatback angle, front
    height, rear height, lumbar support,
    upper and lower side bolsters,
    thigh support
    Restraint systems, front manual 3-point belts; driver and
    passenger front, side, head,
    and curtain airbags

    SUSPENSION
    Front ind, unequal-length control arms, coil springs,
    anti-roll bar
    Rear rigid axle, leaf springs, anti-roll bar

    STEERING
    Type rack-and-pinion with power assist
    Steering ratio 18.4:1
    Turns lock-to-lock 3.0
    Turning circle curb-to-curb 45.8 ft

    BRAKES
    Type hydraulic with vacuum power assist and
    anti-lock control
    Front 15.0 x 1.4-in vented disc
    Rear 14.0 x 1.4-in vented disc

    WHEELS AND TIRES
    Wheel size/type 10.0 x 22 in/cast aluminum
    Tires Pirelli Scorpion Zero, 305/40ZR-22
    Test inflation pressures, F/R 38/38 psi
    Spare full size on aluminum wheel

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  2. Welsh0913

    Welsh0913 OT Supporter

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  3. TriShield

    TriShield Super Moderator® Super Moderator

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    The fuel consumption isn't any worse than regular fullsize trucks with 150 less horses. :o
     
  4. RRTX

    RRTX New Member

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    I'd much rather have the Lightning. $10k less for the same performance and much easier to make even faster = the win :bigthumb:
     
  5. crackaboy

    crackaboy Guest

    :rofl: :rofl: Phillips is a pansy
     
  6. Surgie

    Surgie Mein Führer, I can walk!

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    [​IMG]

    and the competition still hasn't caught up :embd:
     
  7. TriShield

    TriShield Super Moderator® Super Moderator

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    :bowdown: :bowdown: :bowdown:
     
  8. twofaze

    twofaze H.N.I.C.

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    gimme one.......
     
  9. Hansel

    Hansel OT Supporter

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    :bowdown: me wants
     
  10. Surgie

    Surgie Mein Führer, I can walk!

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    but its not ;)
     
  11. King of No Pants

    King of No Pants aww yankee puppy aww

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    wow I had no idea it was that fast
     
  12. DefBringer

    DefBringer Guest

    Says it all right there.

    WHY?
     
  13. King of No Pants

    King of No Pants aww yankee puppy aww

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    because you cant go camping/fishing/hiking with a vette or want to leave it in the woods for a weekend
     
  14. TriShield

    TriShield Super Moderator® Super Moderator

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    Why not?
     
  15. psykosis

    psykosis Go placidly amid the noise and the haste

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    Who do think is really gonna take this truck off-road?!?!
     
  16. King of No Pants

    King of No Pants aww yankee puppy aww

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    I would :dunno:
     
  17. DefBringer

    DefBringer Guest

    :hyper:
     
  18. King of No Pants

    King of No Pants aww yankee puppy aww

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    why thats the point of it for the rich guy who also likes to fly fish or go camping

    my mom as a sport trac and she loves it when we go to VT and shit. She would have gotten a harley F150 if was 4 wheel drive same with this one.

    :dunno:
     
  19. BLoG

    BLoG Scented Meat

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    holy shit that review is nearly unreadable. WTF.
     
  20. BLoG

    BLoG Scented Meat

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    If it weighed as much as a lightning, and could tow, it would rule.
     
  21. VicenteFox

    VicenteFox Does your mother still hang out at dockside bars?

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    wow who let that horrible review layout pass the editors desk?
     
  22. Supreme Allah

    Supreme Allah The terrorists won.

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    :rofl: that shifter is hilarious
     
  23. Big_Luke

    Big_Luke serious as dick cancer

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    sloooooow. I ran a 13.4 STOCK bone fucking stock with my little 380 hp lightning. Slicks, air filter/aftermarket TB small 2lb pulley boost got me a 13 flat almost to a high 12. With a chip and a tranny mod could get me mid/low 12's easy.

    you probably have to shell out a ton to mod that beast.

    how much do heads/cam for on of those engines cost?

    if Dodge would have maybe thrown boost on their modded Hemi motor instead of that big ass engine and knocked 10 grand off the price would make that truck sweet and worth buying.

    but a sweet looking truck though.
     
  24. Squonk

    Squonk But if you don't stand up, you don't stand a chanc

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    On the first picture of the thread, I think what you are seeing is a dark reflection, not a hole (if I'm looking at what you're looking at).
     

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