Return the favor

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by sillylilchelsea, Sep 30, 2008.

  1. sillylilchelsea

    sillylilchelsea New Member

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    I talked to a married friend of mine today who told me that her husband will have her give him oral sex then immediately fall asleep afterwards, without taking care of her. I've had this happen to me a few times, but it's always because it's late and my boyfriends tired (I hope :squint:).

    She told me the last time this happened he agreed that after she preformed for him he'd smoke a cigarette and then get back in the mood. Even though they had discussed it before hand it didn't happen that way, he simply got in bed turned away and went to sleep. Any suggestions? I was at a loss.
     
  2. giz

    giz Active Member

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    doesn't sound like the guy gives a shit :dunno: I don't know how you change that
     
  3. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    aah, happened to me too! although I didnt ask for it but it was obvious that I wanted it too! maybe when she is giving him oral does it in a way that he can play with her and then jump on him to return the favor afterwards or do it in 69 position! the last solution would be stop giving him orals!
     
  4. fray

    fray New Member

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    well, aside from ditching him because he sounds like an ass, let her get hers first and then he gets his...?
     
  5. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    sit on his face while sucking him off....hopefully he gets it and goes along with it...
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Yeah...:ugh: that whole "well I'm just going to stop and eventually he will crave sex so badly he'll just jump me!" does not work for everyone, not even the mojority really. In fact it's pretty terrible advice from and outsider's view.
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    See, that is good advice. Communicate when you have something that distresses you in your relationship, not withold sex/sexual acts staying quiet until they will hopefully want to get it on.
     
  8. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    next time he wants a BJ, she should say "me first"

    just make sure she actually returns the favor and doesnt turn it into some type of game. from my experience, once the guy has had his, he is done, so i have always gotten mine first and then returned the favor.
     
  9. dino_sores

    dino_sores New Member

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    exactly! that's the obvious thing to do! or talk to him about it. if he still doesn't "Return the favor" just fall asleep on him and see how he feels about it.
     
  10. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    I think it is not fair to tell someone that they are giving bad or good advice. If you think the advice is not good, just reason and prove it wrong. hopefully the OP and others can figure out which one makes more sense after reading both answers.
     
  11. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    That's how I was in my youth. It only took a girl to tell me what she wanted in order for me to come to my senses. If he REFUSES to get her off, then that's a big problem...
     
  12. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    maybe I'm not normal but making a chick squirm is half the fun...
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I'm all about people not spreading obviously bad advice. Telling someone to withhold from a sexual act to get their SO's affection and attention is obviously bad advice, or at least I'm sure most people in this forum would think so. Maybe you are a little defensive since you too made a comment in your thread about possibly withholding sex from your bf to get his attention, I don't know....Point is it might work for her and her husband but I doubt that there aren't serious communication issues at play and it isn't the healthy thing to do. And I followed up by pointing out clear communication with one another is the better way to work through things (also quoting LoriLove again), so it's not as if I just said "that is bad advice!" and gave no reason why or better advice.
     
  14. zmiller91

    zmiller91 New Member

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    I know that after i cum im not horny. but ill try to take care of my girlfriend in other ways. for instance, a few days ago she gave me head before she was finished. and instead of fingering her i gave her a leg and foot massage. i dont know if thats any better, but i think it shows i care...?
     
  15. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    do you have to be horny to finger her? is that any more effort than a leg and foot massage? i dont understand.

    either get yours first, 69, or tell him like it is and what you need him to do to you right after its over. obviously, the latter isnt working, so try another angle :mamoru:.
     
  16. coldstone

    coldstone New Member

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    Let her go first or 69. Win-win.
     
  17. coldstone

    coldstone New Member

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    :werd:

    Stop treating sex like a commodity. You are not a prostitute; so don't sell sex.
     
  18. zmiller91

    zmiller91 New Member

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    thats true, but i lose alot of energy after cumming and its easier to give a massage because its more relaxing to me. and, she doesnt like to 69.
     
  19. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    well, it's good that you care about ppl's bad advices. I just think though that since we are not relationship experts here(and even if we were we prolly didnt have solution to everything) let's not force our opinions to others. It is just about respect, personally if I post a thread I want to hear most different advices and experiences then I think I have the ability to choose the best one for myself.

    In the case of op, withholding oral is not nessecarily a bad thing, depends on the way she does it. I personally did that just once to my bf and it wasn't becuz I wanted to play games or tricks I literally told him I am so emotionally dissatisfied that I choose not having sex now and detach myself from him so that I dont get hurt, which was really how I felt. Well, if she does that the way I did maybe her husband actually understands what he is doing to his wife.
     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2008
  20. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    Wait wait wait.... Aren't you the one who made the thread about her bf not giving her sex... And here you are advising another girl, when you have the same problem.....
     
  21. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    why cant she finger herself while blowing him and come at the same time.
     
  22. coldstone

    coldstone New Member

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    :mamoru:


    I love how most of the women in the vag who give relationship advice are in bad relationships/married/whatever. I also love how women, in general, never back down from giving relationship advice. My younger brother's friends, who were 14 at the time, offered me relationship advice when I was 18. Yeah, they have so much relationship experience to draw upon...
     
  23. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    Yes! with the difference that I GIVE HIM SEX AND ACCEPT everytime, but HE REJECTS ME. and I considered to stop giving it to him cuz I didnt want it to be just at times that he wants. hopefully you read my thread well and you know this! I can't see what part made you surprised.

    also my case is a bit different, he doesn't orgasm and leave me in the air! he just rejects to do the whole thing.
     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2008
  24. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    i really cant say most of us are in bad relationships. ive been in mine for 6 years, AK and Beer live with their SOs in stable relationships, and theres plenty of others. Dont let a few give us all a bad name.
     
  25. coldstone

    coldstone New Member

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    You three are in the minority. :o
     

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