SRS Responsible alcohol usage?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by 127.0.0.1, Jun 14, 2005.

  1. 127.0.0.1

    127.0.0.1 New Member

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    If I were to start drinking in party, group, etc types of situations (something I NEVER do), not to get drunk, but to ease up, and become more social..what are the potential problems I might see?

    I am a 20 y/o white guy, I typically hang out with my brother and our group of friends, but chill with some of my other friends sometimes. I have basically always been in the DD situation, everyone wants me to come hang out with them, but I automatically have to be the DD (cant legally drink at bars yet). Even at home, people ask me not to drink in case they need rides home. I am kind of tired of always playing this role. If I were to occasionally start drinking in social situations (so I am not the only sober guy at a party), but mainly to become a little more outgoing, talkative, etc. Is the main problem I might run into, that i will want to be drinking all the time, because of the way people treat you, or act differently towards you when you are also drinking?

    I know it is not legal for me to drink, but I am a very VERY responsible person when it comes to stuff like this, and if I have had anything to drink, I wouldnt even think of driving, or anything of the sort.

    I just hate to get started on something in order to get a certain reaction, or change from my personality, and not want to go back to normal. I know it seems like an easy topic, but as far as my life goes, and how little I have to worry about, this is an issue that I have thought a lot about.
     
  2. johan

    johan Active Member

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    So next time they say this to you:

    "yo subnet mask, you the DD tonight right?"
    "nope, sorry, can't do it. I'm doin shooters later"

    and it's not up to you to find another DD. It's up to the other people who need a DD.
    This is true even if you are stone cold sober.

    Hell, maybe you just want to go home and sleep instead of being forced to ferry people around. You don't need to make any excuses.

    You're a 20 year old guy. And by the sounds of it, over-responsible.
    Accept that your destiny is up to you. You're the DD because you've accepted this role, and continue to accept it. So you can choose to decline this role too.

    If you need a polite way to decline, just simply decline when asked. You only need not be rude about it, you don't necessarily need to be overly polite.

    Don't overdo the alcohol. But I doubt that will be a problem for you.
    Your concern about changing your personality and not having it go back to "normal" is unfounded.

    Realize that the concept of "YOU" can change over time. You add in behaviours that you want, and discard ones that no longer work for you. This does not mean you are being untrue or unfaithful to the core of "you"-ness.

    Adaptation and change are necessary parts of a well-functioning life.
     
  3. johan

    johan Active Member

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    PS oh yeah, worry less about what other people think about you.

    The fact that you're always the DD, and the way you write leads me to think that what you're really tired of, is the fact that people take you for granted, and basically push you around. Yeah?

    So stop that. Stop being the DD. Stop giving 2 shits about what other people think.
    Now, realize, I am NOT suggesting you become some major asshole. Not in the least.

    I am telling you to become your own person. Your own man. You decide what is acceptable for you. You decide what you will do and won't.

    Frankly being used over and over as a free taxi service -- I should think you've had enough of being walked over. Time to stand up.
     
  4. 127.0.0.1

    127.0.0.1 New Member

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    Wow, that is the first time someone has ever said that to me. (and it is completely right). My friends are very important to me, but the only time they really acknowledge the stuff I do for them is when they are drunk and want something (a ride home). You are right though, if they are going to be responsible enough to drin, they have to be responsible enough to find a person to drive them home in the first place.
     
  5. johan

    johan Active Member

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    No problem. "...reading between the lines since 1985..."


    Somehow I never tire of hearing that... ;)

    Anyways, good luck to ya, you sound like decent fellow. You're going to be just fine.

    PS One last thing. When you start to shift your social role, this will cause some discomfort among other people.

    For some, they perceive some disturbance in the social order and it makes them nervous. For others, it's simpler; their guaranteed free ride is evaporating and they'll have to get off their ass and do something about it.
    Whatever the case may be, you must remain true to yourself. Decide for yourself what life you want. Who YOU will become.

    I'm talking about more than just your DD duties here. This affects all aspects of your life. Just don't become an asshole (temporarily) while making your adjustments. Otherwise, don't be deterred. Break on through.
     
  6. 127.0.0.1

    127.0.0.1 New Member

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    Hmm, that is good advice.. I have really notice when it comes that time of night how people start talking to me, they get a lot nicer, and talk to me a lot more. I'm sure you know what kind of behavior I'm talking about. Ill let you know how things work out the next time it comes about. I have been telling myself to start being an asshole (just not so nice) for a long time. Your replies were put into words that I needed to hear. I really appreciate the help. :wavey:
     
  7. johan

    johan Active Member

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    No problem... Glad to be of help. Shoot back an update when you're ready.
     

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