Relationships "just happening"

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Falconer, Jul 8, 2009.

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  1. Most of my relationships "just happened"

    39 vote(s)
    76.5%
  2. Most of my relationships were me looking for a relationship

    10 vote(s)
    19.6%
  3. Other (explain)

    2 vote(s)
    3.9%
  1. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I've never gotten into a relationship when I was trying.

    My first LTR - she was on my floor freshman year in college. It "just happened."

    My second LTR - she was in a class with me Senior year in college. It "just happened."

    My third LTR - met her on Myspace but I wasn't looking for a date or a gf. It "just happened."

    Recent LTR - met her at work. A situation arose one day in an elevator where she forgot to press the button to go to her floor, so I pressed it for her as I was getting off on my floor and then laughed at her and then sent her an email teasing her again. We started emailing/talking. It "just happened."

    The only dates I've ever been on when I was actively looking for a date at the time have sucked.

    I wonder if it's just how I'm perceiving things, or I wonder if it's the universe working in mysterious ways or "the Secret" or whatever. You know, like meeting the right person when the time is right.
     
  2. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Oh, I forgot. There's a whole aspect of PUA designed to make things look like they "just happened" even when they didn't. So obviously other people have noticed this before.
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Most of my relationships came when I was happy being single and not looking for a relationship.
     
  4. Alaya

    Alaya Active Member

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    It's always "just happened for me" as well.

    Every time I've met someone I ended up dating for a couple years, I honestly don't mean this to be creepy, but I've pretty much been 99% [fuck it, 100% lol] certain that we'd end up in a relationship down the road. It's like that crazy instant connection, and everything just falls into place naturally.

    First LTR - Met through my best guy friend at a concert. It was his best guy friend at the time. Totally random. Ended up going outside and talking for like 3 hours lol.

    Relationship, but I wouldn't say LTR - Met through one of my good Romanian friends, was his younger cousin. Was at a coffee shop after soccer practice totally sweaty and gross and in my gear, ran into my friend, introduced me to his cousin, started talking about footy, everything clicked and fell into place.

    2nd LTR - Met at a party that I was at b/c of some friends. Reconnected on FB, and it all just fell into place totally naturally.

    3rd LTR - Met through friends, sorta a set up but totally random encounter at the same time.
     
  5. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Pretty much all of my relationships just happened. And came out of nowhere.
     
  6. ChipOnShoulder

    ChipOnShoulder New Member

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    First serious LTR, I pursued her for three months. I AFC'd to the max. When she was sick with mono and thought she was in trouble, she called me (6'1", 145 pounds at the time) instead of her handsome crew jock ex-fling, and i stayed with her for a whole day. Brought her to get soup, all that shit.

    Asked her out literally 8 times. The last time she turned me down, I finally stormed off and swore it was over. The next day, she called me up, asked me to lunch, told me she had been a victim of sexual assault when she was a high schooler, and as a result had trouble trusting guys. So she asked me out. It was the best relationship I ever had: she was beautiful, way out of my league, we loved each other dearly, and she put more into the relationship than me! However I was emotionally immature at 20-21, and eventually my insecurity and complacency killed it.

    OBVIOUSLY, I actively pursued this girl, and I didn't use any smooth jive PUA bullshit either. I told her again and again i didn't want to play games and told her only the truth about my intentions and feelings.

    You don't have to be a "smooth operator" who subscribes to a PUA newsletter to get the girl you want all the time. Sometimes being a genuinely nice guy pays off, though i'll admit it doesn't pay off as often as it should.

    Nowadays, i have no patience for such things. Either we hit it off amazingly or we don't. Sadly, the last girl I dated hit it off extremely well with me, but I fucked it up by going AFC/clingy too quickly. My last GF was a stage 5 clinger, and i had forgotten how normal people approach relationships. A little bit of PUA reasoning, strategy, and tactics helped me realize why I fucked things up though, so i'm back on the market lol.
     
  7. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    This.

    (could be 20/20 hindsight, tho)
     
  8. ChipOnShoulder

    ChipOnShoulder New Member

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    I'd tend to believe it is more likely to be hindsight. Alaya does seem to have a number of exceptions in the world of dating.

    I believe there are right people and right times. I've had amazing connections (making out, holding hands, 3 dates in the week we meet) fail to go anywhere because of timing.
     
  9. Alaya

    Alaya Active Member

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    Could be.

    And again, don't mean this in a creepy way whatsoever, but I very distinctly recall in every relationship having that "feeling/knowing" before it was all official/very shortly after we had met. With Patrick, it was literally the second I met him I knew. It was weeeeeeeeeird. And He did too, though. Dunno.
     
  10. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Wow that is really creepy. :iough:

    :mamoru:
     
  11. kristaliah

    kristaliah New Member

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    Only had 3 relationships.

    First one "just happened" but I desperately wanted it to be my happily ever after even though I didn't really like the guy.

    Second one, eh, I guess I was looking for a relationship?

    And third/current - definitely just happened. I wanted to have fun and experience no strings attached sex for the first time everr, and 2.5 years later we're still together.
     
  12. Lindsay Loham

    Lindsay Loham New Member

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    Both relationships I've been in have "just happened"

    One I randomly bumped into him at school, and things went from there.

    The current one I met on OT while not even looking/trying
     
  13. Bacardi 151

    Bacardi 151 New Member

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    Stop talking about relationships and work on yourself man. :hs:
     
  14. Bacardi 151

    Bacardi 151 New Member

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    In your head
    :roflw:
     
  15. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    It's all in your head. I've had a good mixture of both types and my most successful relationships have definitely been the ones I was actively looking for. That said, I think relationships come whether you are looking for them or not. People are social creatures by nature.
     
  16. saosko

    saosko OT Supporter

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    My past relationship came when the girl got preggo.

    Where's that option?
     
  17. saosko

    saosko OT Supporter

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    Previous to that, I wouldn't really call them relationships as I would ''fuck buddies''

    My first gf fucked with my head pretty bad.
     
  18. JoJoBee

    JoJoBee Hanging out with my chicks! OT Supporter

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    Most of mine came from out of nowhere...
     
  19. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    egh....i kinda feel like this sometimes could happen, though it is really most likely coincidence that just fits together nicely. my husband and i both had life events that lead us to where we were in the same place at the same time multiple different times, yet never met. the way we both ended up at the same college instead of the other schools we originally wanted to go to is a little weird too. but again, this could all just be life. you cant read too much into that kinda stuff

    you find good relationships when you are not looking because that is when you are feeling good about yourself. you are confident, you are happy, you are content with how things in life are going. happy people are viewed as more attractive than desperate people (at least in my opinion) so if you are happy, its more likely you will attract more people, therefore giving you a chance to be more picky about who you actually end up dating instead of just dating someone cause they are the only person there and you are desperate
     

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