SRS Relationships... feelings before or after started dating?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by killer4605, Oct 30, 2006.

  1. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    I have the opportunity to date a few different attractive girls that I know... the only thing holding me back is that I don't have feelings for any of them. The only girl I do have feelings for has a boyfriend (not my ex incase you guys read my previous thread :rofl:).

    For some reason I feel an instant connection with this girl... I don't know what it is about her... I don't even know her... but the feelings are there. The odd thing is in all the times we've gone out (always in a social setting with her friends and my friends) she has never once mentioned that she has a boyfriend.

    I was making conversation with some of her friends at a football tailgate we were having and asked why she wasn't there and they said she was with her boyfriend (from highschool apparently... we're all in grad school now). When I asked her why she didn't come to our tailgate, she told me she was busy with her brother...

    I guess basically what i'm asking is what do you guys think about this situation? Should I go ahead and date around with various girls I don't care about or should I pursue the girl I like even though she may be involved with someone else (or at least until she says "hey, I have a boyfriend").

    Did any of you date people you didn't have a connection with and then the emotions came later? Keep in mind i've only been with 1 girl (15 months) and I didn't ask her out until I realized I had feelings for her just as I have for this new girl.

    What do I do? :noes:
     
  2. Welsh0913

    Welsh0913 OT Supporter

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    What I would do is this:


    Hint that you may like her and see how she responds. If she responds with I have a BF, I can't leave him, yada yada, then date around with various girls, all the while making sure she knows of it happening. If all goes well, she will want you more and more and become more jealous. Girls always want what they can't have (which is true for guys as well). It will also show that you are not needy/she is not a priority, even if she may well be.
     
  3. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    Good advice. Dating (recently met) mutual friends... is that a no no or what?
     
  4. Welsh0913

    Welsh0913 OT Supporter

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    Mutual friends is a not advised.... because she is friends with the girl you are dating, she may not pursue you even if she does like you because she doesn't want to ruin her friendship with the other girl.

    Again, I would only pursue this route after you have already hinted that you are interested in her. If she reciprocates these feelings enough, she will leave her BF and you may not have to go through this entire cat and mouse process. If she doesn't, at least it is something to keep her intrigued while she knows another girl is fawning over you. You have to be subtle with this.
     
  5. harleysilo

    harleysilo New Member

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    *beginning of serious post*
    Well if it's as you say, it reads like she is trying to keep her options open. It is possible things aren't going the best for her and her BF at the moment.

    It's difficult sometimes to get out of a comfortable relationship. I know all about this. If you want her you could have her with patience. You have to show her how much better life could be for her with him gone and you there. How I don't know. You could always tell her open and honestly, say hey I'd like to ask you on a date but I've heard you have a boyfriend, is that true? She says "Yes", you say how serious are you, longtime thing, is their a future for you their? She what she says......

    *end of serious post*

    Now if it were me back when I was in school, I'd just make sure I was around her next time she's partying hard with no boyfriend around. End up making out with her at the end of the party:nono:, or taking her home with me :nono:....Then remind her in the morning how fun the night before was :nono:...and then go out next weekend and do it again....:nono:
     
  6. Bear Klaw

    Bear Klaw Guest

    :bigthumb:
     
  7. Monotone

    Monotone New Member

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    :werd:
     
  8. crazyMichel

    crazyMichel New Member

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    Unless her boyfriend is a friend of yours, I wouldn't care. Maybe it is a broken relationship and she is going to leave him anyway. And if not, I bet she will tell you very early that she is not interested in you. So go and get her, you have nothing to lose.
     

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