As many already know, I have a pretty rocky relationship. Me still being in it may be questionable, but I truly love this girl and I just want it all to work out in the end. Currently, She lives about 6 hrs away (I am in Pittsburgh, she is NJ). She has had problems in the past and racked up a good chunk of debt that she is now busting her ass to pay off. I'm recently graduated from college, do not have a job yet and pretty much am failing at life in general. When we are together we get along well, but we have been long distance for almost a year now and have had spans of 2 months where we didn't see each other, but still talked every day. It sucks. Obviously, being a long distance relationship, there are some issues. For a while, I was in a mode where I wasn't sure if it was worth it anymore to continue to try and work at something so hard. I came to the realization that, for me it was worth it. I truly love her. There are some trust issues as she had an issue with compulsive lying in the past. I don't believe she cheated on me or anything like that, but just everyday small stuff. I got to a point where I never knew what to believe about anything, even the smallest things. I began to question everything, basically interrogation at points. It still happens occasionally now, where I just try to dig for the truth, or I will ask for proof. Which I do not normally get. She's improved that aspect and she tells me she's getting better. I believe that she is improved, but not fixed. So I still have issues trusting, and my anxiety about losing her has made me become almost obsessive. I understand that that is pushing her away, and I jsut become more afraid of it all and it becomes a vicious cycle that is hurting things all around. I'm not strong enough to just stop calling even know I know thats what I need to do. I'm smothering her. Currently, things have been pretty bad. Ive been in a bad rut. Depression, extreme anxiety about everything, etc. She has seemed to sort of distance herself and become more independent. She used to be very dependent, obsessive, etc. Now I am the one who is seemingly obsessive as I feel it all sleeping through the cracks. I'm not so sure that she wants this relationship anymore. She tells me that she loves me, she tells me that she wants it to work, but at the same time, she will tell me that she is unsure about a few things. It eats at me and my anxiety and worries kick into full force. I call her way too much. I just always want to talk to her. I miss her. I freak out, I cry just thinking about it all not working. I act irrationally and I know it, but I'm not strong enough to stop. I rarely get to see her because she works too much. If I go out to her place, I am not completely comfortable staying at her parents house and things get a little awkward at times. SHe can't really come out to see me because she just works so often. If I go out there and get a hotel...well she works and I would just sit in a hotel all day by myself. It sucks. All I want to do is spend time with this girl, and make it all work out in the end. I could keep going on for a while but I will stop there and try to let people respond and I will answer with further explanations or things that need to be cleared up.