Relationship Question (Long-Distance)

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by EMone, Aug 18, 2009.

  1. EMone

    EMone New Member

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    FIRST post, so I’m expecting a lot from this =) Thanks in advance!

    First off this may be a pretty basic relationship question rather than a typical long-distance one.

    Background info:
    Met a girl through friends and we got along GREAT from the bat. She was visiting her friends/family from out of state and on the second day she asks to go to the zoo, and we had a fantastic time together, on the third day she asks if I want to see a movie before she leaves. The movie didn’t go through because the following day her sister gets real sick (cancer). We talk via email since my phone’s not operational until I get a new one (damn rain). Not long later she eventually goes back to where she came from, unfortunately never meeting again, but we’ve been chatting ever since via email. At first the emails were very long and fairly flirtatious/humorous and on a daily routine – that was 4 weeks ago. After about 2 weeks the emails cut down both in size and consistency (2-3 days instead of everyday) from both sides, me and her, yet the content is still there, meaning we’re still hitting it off really well. Not long ago I bought a new phone and have that as another means of communication, but don’t feel comfortable calling mainly because we’ve been relying on the emails and don’t know how or if I can introduce that. We do have each other’s number, however.

    Question 1:
    Realistically am I in any decent position to pursue her? I would if I could see some possibility; otherwise I’m no weirdo to be unreasonably chasing someone who lives way too far. I’m feeling 50/50 in limbo.

    Question 2:
    I stated this might be a basic relationship question because I’m also wondering if she’s into me still. I’ve admitted I’ve lost some attraction because we can’t meet and perhaps her too, hence the shortening down of the emails. So given the situation, that she’s far away, we’ve only been emailing, is there a way I can tell if she’s still interested?

    OK thanks all!
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    First you need to figure out if you seriously want an LDR with a chick you barely know and will hardly ever see. You're most likely only in this because you aren't good at talking with women local to you, so having one long distance is a lot easier on your lack of skills.

    But if you decide you are really in this-just call her. Stop making excuses and being nervous. Call her and start chatting via phone because it's much healthier.

    If she even answers, that's a decent sign she's into you. Once you've started using the phone you can bring up the ill-fated "what are we?" talk and go from there.
     
  3. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    . Couldn't have said it better myself.
     
  4. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    how far away are you two?
     
  5. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Yeah and what are your ages?
     
  6. EMone

    EMone New Member

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    Me: Washington DC, 24
    Her: Somewhere in Missouri, 20




    That’s not really the case (or maybe this is another excuse?), and I’ve made up my mind on wanting a LDR which is why I’m here asking questions to bring it to that type of level IF it’s possible. I am not at all nervous talking with girls locally and I’m in this because she and I connect better than anyone I’ve met (although mostly via email). However, I am nervous about calling her, because well again the circumstances aren’t conducive so I don’t know ‘how to’ call her. I think we can agree not all open ended situations can be solved so easily with “just call her.”

    So, in my eyes, since 1) me not knowing if it’s appropriate to call and 2) me no longer knowing if she’s still interested (I know 100% she was a month ago). Am I in one of those situations where it’s just not going to happen?
     
  7. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    why wouldnt it be appropriate to call? you guys are communicating through email, so just call her and say "hey, my phone is fixed!" and go from there. you are making it more difficult than it needs to be.
     
  8. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Sounds like he's using the distance and electronic communication as a buffer, which I can understand. I was like that when I was younger. If that's the best you can do, that's fine for now, but try and push yourself to call her soon.
     
  9. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    honestly, what's the point ? do you think you would move out to her
     
  10. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    probably not. i would advice against long distance for the large majority of people (and ive done long distance) but if he thinks it will work, what does it hurt to try? most likely it wont go anywhere because they are far from each other, but it doesnt hurt to call her
     
  11. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    2nded.

    spend the time and energy you would spend on the long distance relationship and work on your social life and social skills
     
  12. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

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    long distance means no sex....at all unless you use your hand.
     
  13. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    :werd:

    You would not start a relationship by being long distance unless you have exceptionally amazing chemistry.
     
  14. EMone

    EMone New Member

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    Damn sucks, I guess I'm done before I began.
    Thanks
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Yeah, sound like you really got to know her :rofl:

    :hsugh: Yeah, it is that easy

    What do you think, you guys will have a "relationship" based solely on dwindling emails?
     
  16. Joshua

    Joshua ambition over everything OT Supporter

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    Whoa whoa whoa. Back the fuck up for a second, if I read this correctly, you've never even spent time with the chick outside of a group environment?

    Why don't we start with going and seeing her and seeing how it goes from there. Chicks like attention. You could easily be getting riled up over someone who is just passing notes to pass time. Call her, go see her, see what happens, then start contemplating the LDR concept (fuck LDR's - but you gotta learn that on your own dime).
     
  17. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    it hurts him when it fails and he missed out on sex, fun, etc... for however long.

    Keep in contact with her if you want. But don't act like she's a gf.
     
  18. Boosted98gsx

    Boosted98gsx Active Member

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    I held on to a LDR for 3 years, take it from my experience, it's not worth it. If one of you is willing to move closer, go for it, but when you do see each other, it's just going to be a conjugal visit, and when you're apart, it's going to be hard as hell to not think about the other (greener) pasture.

    LDR's totally fucking suck, and they are vampires on your emotions. I would skip on it.
     
  19. k624ash

    k624ash New Member

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    I say dont do it.

    If the emails are dwindling in content and length already do you really think you can build a relationship out of it? And even if you can do you really want an LDR? For me hanging out with a girl only a few times would not be enough experience with her to justify an LDR, if i was even willing to enter an LDR.
     
  20. Boosted98gsx

    Boosted98gsx Active Member

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    In addendum to this....


    The distance will ALWAYS be an excuse....
     

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