relationship help pls

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by steviebeast, Oct 30, 2007.

  1. steviebeast

    steviebeast OT Supporter

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    I have been with my gf for about 5 months and our relationship just hit a very rough patch. She works full time and goes to school. I, on the other hand, am a professional poker player and lead a very casual life filled with golf and exercising. I am going to get a real job sooner or later, but I pay the bills just fine for now. Anyways, she tells me that she only has time to see me once a week at most, so she doesn't think we can have a real relationship on those terms. After we finish this "break", should I even hold out any hope of getting back with her, or is this just an excuse to break up? I cant tell if she lost interest in me, or is genuinely just too busy with school.
     
  2. Stev

    Stev Active Member

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    how old are you? and her?
    what is she going to school for? and how much more school does she have ahead of her?
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Honestly? Sounds like it is over. "Breaks" are bullshit, and when girls have that idea it's almost always their nice way of breaking up without having to say it. Being on a "break" is an easy way for them to feel free while possibly keeping you on the side in case they feel lonely again and/or other guys they try to date don't work out.

    Anywho, you don't want to be with someone who says they can only make one day out of the week to see you. I will be working full-time very soon and I know for a fact that I will still see my bf every night if not 5-6 nights out of the week. The best thing you can do is move on. Do NOT wait around for her.
     
  4. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    .

    Once a week is all I used to get before moving for college. Now I only get to see her every 2 months or so, and we are in a very serious relationship. Shes either too lazy to try or just dosnt have interest in you
     
  5. jazzmoney

    jazzmoney New Member

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    Maybe she feels that you guys have different value systems...
    She has to work and study her ass off and ever minute she has available, she has to spend it with you... That can be rough on a person with the SO is able to make a living by "playing" poker and has time to do whatever they want.

    Btw... What are your plans for the future? Maybe she's decided that you guys are on two different paths and is cutting you off like a bad limb...
     
  6. kristaliah

    kristaliah New Member

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    Agree completely.

    Think of how she must feel when she was to work her ass just to get by and yet you get to lounge around all day and have tons of money to show for it. She might even feel inadequate or jealous. I refuse to talk about finances with my boyfriend because he just works for fun, slacks off in scool and his parents pay all the bills. Whereas I work 2 jobs, go to school and am still expected to be there for him 24/7 even when I'm exhausted. It's hard to keep up and frustrating when I feel like he's "getting ahead of me."

    I guess both parties just need to take a step back and re-evaluate things. It IS possible for this relatoinship to work out if you want it to, just try not to understand where she's coming from. Her needing to take a "break" might just mean that she needs time to focus on herself.. Granted breaks never end well, but it's really up to her, and she's the one hurting right now.
     
  7. Doc Love

    Doc Love Guest

    Break? That means the relationship is over. Move on, if she loved you she would have been supportive of your lifestyle, it's your life, live it how you want to.
     
  8. DarkAngel19

    DarkAngel19 New Member

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    I have pretty much the same thing with my SO, I'm busy every second of every day, and he lives a life of leisure... but I love him and I try to think of little ways for us to see each other during the day. I have him come meet me for lunch even if it's 20 mins, I make him come study with me, we meet for a quick BJ or fuck session, etc. If your relationship is important to her (i.e. a you are high priority) she will make it happen, and if not, she will say she needs a break for X reasons.

    This is cliched advice but, don't make someone a priority who sees you as an option.

    DA
     
  9. Justin636

    Justin636 Active Member

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    The last time my friends gf took a break, she was sleeping with someone else the following day.

    Point is, breaks are bullshit. You either work on your differences and see where the relationship goes, or you call it off and move on. If something brings you two back together in the future then great, but for now the relationship is over.
     
  10. AlliMae13

    AlliMae13 New Member

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    Breaks are pretty much BS...it is an easy way of saying things are over with out actually saying the words.

    With my last boyfriend, we lived an hour a way from eachother and we both worked and had classes to do homework in etc...seeing eachother 1 day during the week was common but we spent almost all weekends together.

    Like other people have said, she may be not happy with the fact that she goes to school and works while you play golf, exercise and play poker all the time. She is probably thinking you two are on separate paths and she doesnt want to say the words to make it completely over.
     
  11. infinite.purple

    infinite.purple New Member

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    It sounds to me kind of like she's frustrated with you about something that may be entirely unrelated to how busy she is (or how busy you aren't). From the tone of your post, it seems like she has had take on all the relationship maintenance duties. (i.e. she does the driving and the tune ups and you're just along for the ride) It seems like she's trying to toss the ball back into your court. I would try to cut through any potential B.S. by asking her what she means by having a "real" relationship. I agree with what some other people have said about being able to make a relationship work with limited time spent face to face. That's why I think it's something else. Girls can be really dumb about stuff like this. They say they want one thing when they really want something entirely different. If you really care about her, figure out what that is and how to give it to her. If you're not up for putting in that kind of effort or playing along with her games (completely understandable), then just be ready to accept the possibility that she might not be back after the "break".
     
  12. steviebeast

    steviebeast OT Supporter

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    Thanks for the advice everyone, it seems to be officially over now. I took a backseat in this relationship for the most part and am now paying for my mistakes. I told her if she would give me another chance I would be a better boyfriend, but it doesnt seem like thats gonna happen.
     
  13. jazzmoney

    jazzmoney New Member

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    As long as you can learn from your mistakes, then it was a mistake worth making...
     

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