Relationship expectations?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Riconosuave, Jul 31, 2005.

  1. Riconosuave

    Riconosuave New Member

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    So, you've just recently started dating someone (in my case, a woman), and everything seems to be progressing nicely. What are some of your expectations as time moves on. For me, I've been dating someone for a little over a month now. It's been a great month, and I'm really starting to like this woman. Yet, sometimes I have mixed feelings about everything. At times, I also seem to get mixed signals from this woman.

    Starting at week two, we've pretty much talked to each other everyday. Sometimes I call her, other times she'll call me. Sometimes we talk multiple times a day. It's been quite a while since I've met a girl whom I can stand to talk to more than a couple times a week. I find myself wanting to know how her day has been. We see each other a couple times a week, though lately with everything she has going on, I feel like she's becoming a bit more distant. She just recently got out of a very long term relationship that didn't end too well. She's still having to deal with some emotional issues caused by her ex. She tells me she's not ready for any type of serious relationship right now, though I'm pretty sure I'm the only guy she's with right now. I want to be there for her, yet am I being selfish for wanting to push things further too quickly? She tells me she likes me too, and that she's not going anywhere.

    I'm not really sure what I want at this point. I'm just confused, and I'm afraid that I'm just the "safe" guy, and not someone that she really wants to be with. We're taking it slow physically, but it just seems to be progressing a bit too slowly. I can't help but think that I'm just being used. It's just a hard feeling for me to explain.
     
  2. ProneToEpisodes

    ProneToEpisodes New Member

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    I wish there was not a "Good behavior" period. I hate it when I date someone and then a month or two later they are a completely different person. It would make it a heck of alot easier if they would just act like themselves the whole time.

    As far as your girl space friend goes I would just relax and see what happens. If she really likes you she will come around. Dont expect anything from her. I would watch out for problems that may come up from the ex.
     
  3. Freeze Time

    Freeze Time New Member

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    This story is EXACTLY what sucks about relationships these days, especially for your typical "nice guy", which you seem to be somewhat in that category.

    The nice guy meet an attractive new girl, and hits it off with her, its the first girl in a while that stimulates him on an emotional level, and things seem to be going really well, but then the asshole ex comes into play on her side. Shes simply too damaged right now and will only break your heart if you continue on.

    It sucks because girls you meet who you actually connect with on an emotional level usually have some stupid ex boyfriend who was abusive to them and caused them all sorts of issues.

    The past 2 girls who ive met that have really meant something to me have been this way. One i was in a relationship for 6 months with, i fell in love, and she didnt because of complications of her ex. I was the "safe guy" that helped her move on with her life, and now shes living with her new boyfriend and is happy.

    Sorry rico, but i doubt this will go anywhere for you. There really is only one thing to do and that is tell her how you feel and ask her what she wants to do. Honesty is crucial in this situation. Dont be afraid to ask the questions you dont want answers to, as you will simply be more hurt in the long run if you dont.

    :hs:
     
  4. Riconosuave

    Riconosuave New Member

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    Mazdaspeed, your situations sound like what I'm going through right now. Not really what I wanted to hear, but I'm afraid that's probably the path I'm headed in. We are honest and open to each other. She's over her ex and wants nothing to do with him, but she is still struggling with what he put her through for the years they were together. Even after a month, I still have not been over to her place. She drives to see me. She says I'll be able to go over soon, but I don't know when that is, and I'm not trying to press the subject. She wants to keep me away from the ex issue and the friends that are still around her area. Now, she's trying to turn her life around, and I guess, she found the "nice guy" to help her do it. I'm not sure what to do. As much as it will hurt, I think I may try to distance myself from her for a bit :( I know the past couple weeks have been especially tough for her, and I've been there for her, but it just seems like I'm the only person really trying here :(
     
  5. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    :werd: asking the questions you know aren't going to give you the answers you want is hard to do.

    if there's one thing i've learned, it's that you shouldn't be afraid to stick your neck out there! if you don't ask, you won't know what the other person is thinking. :)
     
  6. Freeze Time

    Freeze Time New Member

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    How long has she been apart with her ex? It takes a while for someone to be completely "over" an ex. It took me almost a year, and i still have little relapses where i miss my ex. Its the struggling with what he put her through part that scares me the most. The first little story i mentioned wasnt even the worst, a girl i dated in the spring had a very abusive ex and when we hooked up too soon, she totally freaked out and then it was over. She told me she liked me alot one day, then the next it was done.

    Sorry man, but good luck! I hope things work out for you, and that she makes you happy!
     
  7. Amanda Renee

    Amanda Renee New Member

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    i feel like this post is my life..but im that girl that you talk about.. and i didnt even realize how it would affect the guy im seeing.. humm.. ill look back to see if he has any more post.. makes you think though...
     

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