SRS Relationship advice

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by TheEspionage, Jul 1, 2009.

  1. TheEspionage

    TheEspionage New Member

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    I've been going out with a girl for about 4 months now who I find is smart, attractive and awesome, we get on very well. She has alot of guy freinds who she works with etc and is quite a flirt by nature, I've never really liked this and have told her but hey what can you do.

    We were on the phone tonight and I was joking about her flirting nature and it went pretty serious, like I was ''Putting pressure on her'' and not allowing her to be friends with who she wants. It was quite unexpected, but not as unexpected as her proposal to call the relationship off 5 minutes later for this very reason.

    I dug deep pressuring her for the real reason for this sudden request, and she spilled that she ended up kissing her ex while away with her job. I'm mentally strong, and was pissed off (this was only an hour ago) but kept my calm and told her I really liked her and if she could reassure me that it meant nothing we could continue. She confirmed 100% that the ex thing won't happen that she was drunk etc but does not know what she want.

    I go away on holiday tomorrow, and we've agreed to stay together while she thinks on what she wants and when I return we'll talk.

    Am I being calm about this OT? Or should I have kicked her to the curb? I like her so much, and if it was only a kiss I feel we're losing out to a greater thing. One thing is for sure, I'm going to hunt this faggot down and drob bombs all over his face.
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2009
  2. TheEspionage

    TheEspionage New Member

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    Oh and after I told her that when I see her ex I'll be smashing his face in she said if I do its over...

    I feel I'm not doing the right thing here...
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You two will never work out in the long run. You need a girl who isn't such a flirt and doesn't have so many guy friends. She ruined it by cheating and you ruined it by being a little too insecure about her nature, even if rightfully so.

    You would be ignorant to:
    1. Stay together even while you are going away on holiday
    2. Get back together ever
    3. Try to hurt her ex boyfriend that SHE kissed

    You would be smart if you:
    1. Cut all communication with her
    2. Use the long holiday away to remind yourself this is for the best and move on
     
  4. TheEspionage

    TheEspionage New Member

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    Cheers, I understand your points. Noted, but on one of them (bold) he was aware she had a boyfriend. He took the gamble, and I'm fucking pissed.
     
  5. ECD

    ECD New Member

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    she knew what she was doing when she kissed her ex. she was drunk, w/e, drunk enough to forget she had a bf? you've been dating this chick for 4 months and she already cheated on you and you let it slide, not cool. how are you going to feel the next time she goes out and gets drunk? are you going to trust her not to do something like this again when you know shes already a flirt?
     
  6. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    This is the perfect opportunity to run this relationship into the ground. You like her, she likes him -- she's willing to stay with you while doing it. Might as well crash and burn and take advantage of the situation.

    To do this means remain calm but emotionally disconnected. What you get out of it: Sex, sex, sex, someone to waste time who will make you sandwiches....after sex. You get the point. I've been down this road.

    If you want to be mature and actually are serious about wanting to move on from this point with a serious relationship, then this relationship isn't going to last (probably) and thus it would be best to calmly end it and once you have, go into a rage on a punching bag or somewhere else. Never let someone know they got to you when something like this happens. They don't even deserve a reaction.

    Staying calm was a smart move, but when all is said and she's not watching, let out the rage. It's the right thing to do. Do it safely and constructively. The Gym is good, or a good run etc.
     
  7. Deepsouthwrx

    Deepsouthwrx If in doubt, flat out!

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    once a cheat, always a cheat.
     
  8. Crawling Dead

    Crawling Dead Gz-TeRRoR

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    I agree man. I hate when women sue the excuse "I was drunk." Fuck that noise. She knew what she was doing, she lied to you about still having feelings for you, and you need to drop this bitch to the curb. Me personally, I'd still smash the ex in the face. i realize this is irrational, and no good will ome of it, but for me personally, it would make me feel better. I'd personally pound his face until thre was nothing attractive about him anymore, and so he remembers for next time not to fuck with other people's women.
     
  9. TheEspionage

    TheEspionage New Member

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    Seems unanimous. After a nights sleep I'm also thinking around the same lines now, I guess I'll call her later and finish this shit.
     
  10. TheEspionage

    TheEspionage New Member

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    Just rang her, called it off. She wanted to stay friends but I said its best to just cut contact, and she hung up on me. Oh well, Its for the best.
     
  11. Crawling Dead

    Crawling Dead Gz-TeRRoR

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    :hug:

    You did the right thing. You can have a much more healthy relationship with someone youtrust. This bitch sounds like she was never on the level with you, even from the word go. You dont even want a friend like that.
     
  12. Crawling Dead

    Crawling Dead Gz-TeRRoR

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    I wouldnt go so far as to say it was immature. Useless, maybe. I wouldnt even say i was pointless. Vengeance is one of mankinds most basic of instincts. How is it immature to act on them? I'm not suggesting you do it, nor am I encouraging you to. I'm just saying, dont feel bad about it if you do.
     
  13. TheEspionage

    TheEspionage New Member

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    I've never met the guy, but I know of him so to speak, not even got his full name so it would require a 'hunt' so to speak to locate him. Perhaps in many minds this would be considered immature, but the act of betrayal is my biggest hate, and I believe a bloody nose for his troubles is certainly justifiable.

    Funny enough, the girl has nothing to fear, I wouldn't touch a hair on her head. But I'm seeing red just thinking about this random faggot. If I was not going away on Holiday tonight, I would guarantee this week I would have went out my way to find this shit and stomp on his face.

    I'm sorry but I'm just old fashioned.
     
  14. TheEspionage

    TheEspionage New Member

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    Also since I've done the deed of ending this shit I have had many txts and a call asking for my forgiveness.
     
  15. bluefox1081

    bluefox1081 New Member

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    Don't give her any...she doesn't deserve it. Don't even respond.
     
  16. TheEspionage

    TheEspionage New Member

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    Agreed bro, I full understand and I'm consciously aware of the right things to do now. But here is the kicker my emotions are kicking my ass, I won't lie to you I have responded to her messages. Because I still love the girl.

    My responses have been along the lines of:

    ''I've lost trust in you, I don't understand how you think this will work''
    ''I'm not taking to you about this now''
    etc
     
  17. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    :bowdown: this post should be stickied
     
  18. PooP

    PooP New Member

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    :bowdown:

    Good work.

    I know you answered her recently, but just cut it all off now.
     
  19. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Nice job.
     

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