SRS Relationship Advice

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by pyork03, Mar 21, 2007.

  1. pyork03

    pyork03 New Member

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    First off I know post more lurk less... So anyways it starts about 2 years ago when I start a new job. Me and this girl started talking and hanging out about 5 months after I started working there. We start out as strickly friends and thats all. This started in December...move ahead to about may we get closer and start fooling around and come April I had to find a new place to live because my roommate was moving out of state. So me and her moved in together to a 2 bed/2 bath apartment. We were going to try and keep it just friends, no sex...well that didnt last but less than 24 hours after moving in.

    We get closer and we have both said that we were in a secret relationship we got to the point where we told eachother we loved eachother and meant it but nobody else new it except a couple of my friends. Well she keeps a lot of exboyfriends in her life which would be alright but she lies to me about talking to them and meeting up with them. The first time I went home to Missouri from TN after we moved in together she told me she was at her grandma's but come to find out she was out most of the night with one of her ex's. Over the past 9 months or so I have found out of multiple times her meeting up with different guys and not telling me. I know all of this is going on but she doesnt know I know and finally I break down which even scared the living shit out of her and me at the same time. I seriously hadnt cried since I was about 14 and I am not 21 but I let loose like I didnt think I could. Now she knows I know everything and how bad she hurt me.

    So pretty much after that I tell her I need space and I am moving out on my own. I still want to be friends but not in a relationship right now but she wants a relationship now. For the past week everyday something starts up between us, well she starts it. She doesnt understand why I am doing this and keeps begging me which wants me to not be in a relationship with her even more. Tonight after yelling she is by the kitchen crying, I walk in there and she is hold the biggest butcher knife that we have in the kitchen, I grab the blade with my hand and told her she was going to cut me before she cut herself. Finally she put it down and left to go to her moms. What the hell should I do, how can I make her understand I dont want to be in a relationship. She is positive I am the one for her.

    By the way she is a 24 y/o black female, I am a 21 y/o white male.

    Sorry so long, just had to vent.
     
  2. ay thunderrcat

    ay thunderrcat You can have all the hoes, I'm gon keep the women.

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    i dont think you had to throw in the black female and white male thing in there... well anyway, i dont think you guys could be in a relationship together, she already lied to you from the start about being where she was, it would only root things deeper and her lies will get more complicated. youre doing the right thing to take space.
     
  3. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    She may say you are "the one" for her but her actions were not in line with this idea. When someone's actions and words don't match, you have to look to their actions for the truth. In other words, she may want you to be "the one" but I don't think you are.

    This seems to be one of those times when you simply have to seperate yourself from her. Her grabbing the knife are to scare you so you don't leave her....it's very common tactic and I would suggest you don't fall for it. If she keeps it up, tell her you are going to tell her parents becasue if she's really suicidal, you need someone else to help her....I do not believe you are in a position to help her.
     
  4. pyork03

    pyork03 New Member

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    Thanks...yeah well when she went with the guy on my birthday I brought it up about a month later and she said she would never go behind my back again blah blah blah but it happened over and over. It was just hard breaking it off with her because we lived together and all that mess.

    I believe I am doing the right thing also, I want to be friends with her but she isnt making that easy at all to do.

    She has had a very rough past thought, I know very deep stuff about her that her parents or family dont even know.
     

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