Relationship advice please :)

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by x deaD piXeL, May 11, 2009.

  1. x deaD piXeL

    x deaD piXeL Turn up the fucking music!

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    Hi OT I am down in the dumps and need some assistance with my relationship.

    I met this girl a while ago who was missing two fingers, and I didn't want to date her because of it.. As much as I pushed away, she chased..did cute things. Sang to me. Told me I was her wonderwall..yada yada. ALWAYS did these cute things to get me..and because of those cute things..I went ahead and started dating her.

    She used to say we can talk about anything..would always want to come over. Would just be completely all over me, and that special connection made me "us" feel so right. She is very attractive and has had boyfriends before that have lasted years. They used to beat her, and were general assholes. They were "jerks", who I once was when i met her. After a month, she told me that she has only fallen in love with two guys, one after a year, and I was the second one.....And it felt so right so I guess I told her I did too. Stupid me, huh? Well I guess I felt like it WAS amazing, beacuse it was...seriously.

    After I told her that..EVERYTHING went downhill. She started acting differently and I got mad at her about it one day. Another mistake. The next day she told me she doesn't love me anymore, but we had sex and she said she felt the same again. (weird?) After that day, she started leaving early, not calling me or texting me as much, not acting as open. When we tried talking, she would just blow it off like nothing.

    So I broke up with her. She was "too busy" to talk at the time (but was just hanging out with friends) so I said okay and started ignoring her. She came to my house, got drunk, and left me a message on my computer: "Mike I love you. I'm sorry I have trouble showing it sometimes and my mind trips me out. I've never had a guy care for me like you do, and I'm just not used to it. But always know that you have my heart." And I told her "Never tell me you love me again until you actually mean it." and she replied, "I love you."

    But, I don't feel it. Actions speak louder than words. She isn't as into me as she used to be. She always just wants to hang out, and never do anything special. When I was being a jerk, she was totally into me. Chasing me. Doing ANYTHING and being super happy about me. As soon as I started showing her love and my true self (which is not a jerk..I'm kinda a "nice guy") she called me clingy (we hang out like 2-3 times a week...), starts mentioning things that "turn her off", doesn't sing to me anymore..just wants to go to sleep right away...no romance, just quickies..And I HATE this new her. All of her ex boyfriends were dickwads

    I want to break up with her, but I would rather make her act like she loves me again. Because I LOVE that connection we once had. More than anything I've ever wanted. Maybe I'm showing her too much love and not giving her a chance or something?

    Where I think I messed up (events leading up to her changing):
    -Started talking to her about my problems
    -Started acting clingy (uh..not really clingy cause we hang out twice a week..just alot more into her)
    -Told her I love her
    -Got mad at her one time
    -Actually stopped smoking weed for her because she told me I needed to..(and after I did she said she likes it better when I smoke..)
    And on the message she left me that says "..I'm sorry I have trouble showing it sometimes..", that's bullshit because when I first met her, she TOTALLY knew how to show it.

    Is this a lost cause, or can I turn this back around? Help me out here OT. I'm so lost.
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2009
  2. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    she sounds like a complete flake. do you really want to turn this back around? you should start smoking weed again IMO
     
  3. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    one second im pulling up the book of pook
     
  4. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    The only thing I bolded is something you may want to think about.

    What even have her 'act'? Or why even have her 'show' you that she loves you? Things like this isnt something you should mention and they should change. The things you're complaining about essentially are those of things that is what makes a person an individual.

    If you want to pursue a relationship with her, then communicate. Let her know how you really feel and that you would like to have a relationship with her but you don't feel as if she is as committed as you are.


    ------

    On the flip side of things?

    That bitch is nuts. For someone to say something, then 'take it back', especially something like "I Love You", is pretty childish/foolish.

    Run. Run and Don't look back. You'll be better off without her in the long run.

    But, if you do decide to try and work things out... just be honest with yourself. Dont make things work just because you 'love' her. Dont force yourself to be in a relationship with someone who isnt willing to make you as happy as you make them.
     
  5. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    You're better than her :hs:
     
  6. x deaD piXeL

    x deaD piXeL Turn up the fucking music!

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    Well she had me stop smoking weed because I told her it depresses me.

    I don't want to "make" her show that she loves me..I just want her to love me like she used to.

    The first Liz I met said "baby we can talk about anything together..I've never met a guy like you before" just compliment after compliment after ...ah it just made me feel so amazing. We would talk about ANYTHING together..it was just so amazing. Everything changed after I got mad at her ONE TIME.

    She said I made her feel uncomfortable but after that I've tried making her feel comfortable again. She still says she loves me, but she doesn't show it like she did. There's not that "special" connection that she once showed me.
     
  7. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Honeymoon period is over broski, now its on you to decide if its worth making it work
     
  8. x deaD piXeL

    x deaD piXeL Turn up the fucking music!

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    what do you mean honeymoon period? Is this normal in a relationship? she still tells me all the time she loves me..she still talks...she still acts interested..just not as much. By any means.

    (btw this is my first relationship)
     
  9. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

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    Tell her to piss of, this sounds like a high school love relationship. If she really loved you then this shit really wouldn't be an issue. Do you think I'm afriad to get upset or pissed of at a SO? Hell no, if they piss me off I'll tell them and if I piss them off they should tell me. I would really think twice before you let your heart so bodly take you over.
     
  10. x deaD piXeL

    x deaD piXeL Turn up the fucking music!

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    The thing is I KNOW deep down this girl is amazing at heart..i know she can be cool. She is bipolar and gets depressed sometimes but I want her to show me the amount of love she used to.

    I think it's cause she thought I was a jerk at first, and now that I'm a nice guy and do things for her, she is pushed away.
     
  11. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    yeah you are boring to her and dont provide her with interest now and if shes bipolar you probably want to move on anyways....... because chemical imbalances are not fun to deal with
     
  12. x deaD piXeL

    x deaD piXeL Turn up the fucking music!

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    Well I can deal with the bipolar. But I would rather fix whatever is wrong and have this work out. What do I have to do for her to show me that love again?

    And if I have to ask that question..is it even worth it? Ehhh..
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Jesus dude, if you seriously have to ask how to make someone show you they love you you need a lot of help and should not even consider dating at the moment.

    Edit: If this is the SAME high school aged chick you wrote a thread on 2 months ago who has a stutter, is socially awkward AND she's bipolar....you seriously need to move on. She doesn't actually "love" you and you need to accept that and find someone more emotionally stable that you can have a real relationship with.
     
  14. x deaD piXeL

    x deaD piXeL Turn up the fucking music!

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    Fuck does that mean? Get outta my thread with that negativity.
     
  15. x deaD piXeL

    x deaD piXeL Turn up the fucking music!

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    No this is a different girl.
     
  16. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    :bowrofl:

    good luck with your bipolar attention whore 'girlfriend'


    OUT
     
  17. x deaD piXeL

    x deaD piXeL Turn up the fucking music!

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    blah..i'll just break it off with her.

    fuck it
     
  18. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Ohhhhh, my mistake!!! This is a new girl that told you she loved you AND another guy after "dating" you a month and then gave you the cold shoulder when you stupidly lied and told her you loved her back. How silly of me, I can't believe I mixed her up with the other socially awkward girl you were dating just 2 months ago!!! :uh:

    Good luck with this waste of time of a "relationship." You two will never get anywhere, but by all means keep trying to get her to "love" you again since it was such a fantastic love this past month with her!! :bigthumb:
     
  19. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    oh snaps :rofl:
     
  20. x deaD piXeL

    x deaD piXeL Turn up the fucking music!

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    Ey man work on your people skills, maybe I'm asking help because I don't know...

    She told the other guy she loved him after a year, and she told me she loved me after a month. I didn't lie and say I loved her back, I actually felt that "love connection" because she WAS different when I felt that way. I just shouldn't have said it because she got comfortable.

    Sorry I'm not that good with relationships as you are man..but you don't gotta be a dick.
     
  21. x deaD piXeL

    x deaD piXeL Turn up the fucking music!

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    either way..i'm just gonna break up with her today

    you guys are right. i always seem to choose the wrong fucking girls..ugh
     
  22. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    the problem is it takes two to make a love connection and it seems like theres only one person (you) meeting the love requirement
     
  23. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    and seriously dude, get a girl next time who has all ten fingers. are handjobs not important to you? :ugh:
     
  24. x deaD piXeL

    x deaD piXeL Turn up the fucking music!

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    haha right on man.
     
  25. x deaD piXeL

    x deaD piXeL Turn up the fucking music!

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    alright mission accomplished. case closed.
     

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