SRS Regret

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by slim2005, Apr 23, 2006.

  1. slim2005

    slim2005 New Member

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    ok i think i posted this on the wrong topic.. but any way i have brokrn up with my boyfriend of almost four years and i am regreting it now. i dont know what to do:wtc: im lost with out him i feel like i have never felt before. its awful!!!! advise please!!!!!
     
  2. freakshow

    freakshow :wackit:

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    Not that I am an "expert" necessarily but there must have been reasons you broke up with him. When I was in college I was in a relationship that I knew wasn't working for me for two years. I tried to break it off but was weak and didn't want to hurt the girl. Anyway, it ended up with her finally breaking up with me after a summer of travel with her mom. It was hard but I ended up in another relationship fairly quickly. Well, I had these feelings of regret and loss and ended up breaking up with the new girl to try to get back with my ex. Thankfully my ex, nice as she was about, didn't go for it and I ended up back with my new girl to whom I have been married to for 11 years and have 2 boys and a girl coming in August.

    The problem you may be having is that even though the relationship wasn't a good one you were "comfortable" in it. I have that problem regularly with work and friendships as well. Comfort is a hard thing to look past, especially when you have just given it up. You might consider thinking through the reasons you broke up with him and writing them down. Now, it may indeed end up that the good really does outweigh the bad and you need to see about reconiling but remember, you broke up with him for some reason(s) and they are most likely valid.
     
  3. slim2005

    slim2005 New Member

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    they are very stupid reasons i think now and i could of handled them different its the type of person i am that i hated some of the things he did. sometimes i feel that i didnt make enough sacrifice to stay with him and just went with the implose of the moment. it is very hard.
     
  4. freakshow

    freakshow :wackit:

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    So what were the reasons if you don't mind sharing.

    Also, about how old are you guys? This is different if you are 16 then it is if your are 30.
     
  5. scaryice

    scaryice New Member

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    If you get back together, whatever problems that caused you to break up will just happen again. They always do.
     
  6. scary is right. plus it is normal and expected for you to still have feelings for him. you still will for quite some time. the only people who don't feel anything after a breakup are those who never truly loved or respected their partner in the first place. everyone goes through this and everyone can get over it. you'll be ok without him.
     
  7. beautiful disaster

    beautiful disaster OT Supporter

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    it's normal to feel lost, unsure of what to do anymore without him being there. you will eventually feel you can do things on your own. you'll be fine
     
  8. slim2005

    slim2005 New Member

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    i cant say the exact reasons. ifi can private message you to that would be great. also i know its extreamly hard.. he always said i didnt love him cause of the way i acted but geez deep down i did.
     
  9. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    how long has it been?

    if you want to get back together with him why don't you ask him if he wants to go get some coffee and just see how things go from there. my gf of 15 months broke up with me yesterday and i wish she felt the same way you do. i'd definitely be willing to try again.
     
  10. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    What he said.
     
  11. slim2005

    slim2005 New Member

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    he says he doesnt know what he wants anymore/ he said he'd always love me but now i messed up and lost him for good (i think)
     
  12. slim2005

    slim2005 New Member

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    its been about 3 weeks and i have been feeling regret for 2 but took action in about 4 days ago.:wtc:
     
  13. Basically you two were incompatible. It's possible for an incompatible couple to have a long lasting relationship, but not a healthy one unless both of you decide that one person will be in charge but both will be respected at all times.
     
  14. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    Regrets, we all have them...we learn to deal with them and move on...it's called growing.
    It sucks most times.
    But
    Somewhere down the road the regrets get softer and easier to live with, and what was once a terrible pain becomes a soft ache.
     
  15. slim2005

    slim2005 New Member

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    i hope it does get better the pain is awful and its sickning so i just hope it does get better i miss him soo much
     
  16. TheGetUpkid

    TheGetUpkid New Member

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    I does and will get better. How long it takes is different with each person. I agree with everyone saying that you may have been "comfortable" being in a relationship. Not saying its necessary a bad thing, but a lot of the times when you have been in a relationship for so long you sometimes loose your individuality and sight of who you really are. You should really use this time to take care of yourself and do things that you have wanted to do but maybe couldn’t necessarily do because you were in a relationship. Do the things that you use to day before you were in the relationship, do things that make you happy.
     

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