Rebound relationships.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by le_rocks, Jul 25, 2008.

?

Rebound reltionships can work.

  1. Yes, happened to me, it was great.

    17 vote(s)
    24.3%
  2. No, get ready for some heartache

    30 vote(s)
    42.9%
  3. Seen it happen to others.

    10 vote(s)
    14.3%
  4. Hard to say.

    25 vote(s)
    35.7%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. le_rocks

    le_rocks New Member

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    Has there been a case in where you started dating someone that just got out of relationship and it ended up being a lasting relationship? Have any of them ever worked out to long term (successful)?

    From my experience, rebounds only last a few weeks, maybe a few months; nothing ever long term. But now i'm dating a girl that recently broke up with her boyfriend. She says their passion and love has faded months ago so it's like they really broke up a long time ago, and she's really into me. I told her its because I'm just a rebound and she assures me I'm not. So we're just taking it slow. What are the chances? poll time!
     
  2. Vanilla Tarantino

    Vanilla Tarantino OT Supporter

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    She could be telling the truth. I was dating my current girl within, I'd say, 6-8 weeks of breaking up with my last g/f (10-11 month relationship), but I was ready to date her even sooner. I had, however, been wanting to break up with the ex for probably 4 or 5 months before I finally did (I didn't since she was really stressed with school and work and I felt responsible for her - I didn't want to make it worse at a time when she couldn't handle it). When separated from her, I was over her immediately. I, emotionally, felt no different from how I had when I was with her - if anything, I felt more at ease since I had been needing to do that for so long. I've been with my current girl for almost 11 months now and things are going wonderfully :)
     
  3. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    I know lots of girls who dated their rebound for a month to 4 months, then broke it off because they could never get as close to the rebound, and just weren't ready for a relationship that soon.

    then again, i also know a girl who dated a guy for almost 3 years, broke up with him, got with another guy 2 months later, and is now engaged to that guy after about 18 months of dating him.

    so i'd say they usually don't work out, but then again, most non-rebound relationships don't work out either. sometimes both types do.
     
  4. AutoEuphoria

    AutoEuphoria New Member

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    My gf broke up with her ex bf the day before she met me, so I guess I was the rebound guy. We've since been dating for almost 6 years now.

    And that's exactly what happened to my gf's friend. She dated a guy for 3 years, got engaged to him, broke up with him a few months later, started going out with another guy HOURS after she broke up with her fiance, dated that guy for a few weeks, decided that she wasn't having the same feelings for the new guy as she had for the old guy so she broke up with him and ended up back with her old bf/fiance.
     
  5. Brian May

    Brian May New Member

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    Been there, done that.

    She still had hangups over her fiance, regardless of his cheating or how badly he treated her. I was her rebound for 4 months, but during that time she dated and slept around behind my back. Eventually she ended up getting pregnant by some other guy during the last few weeks of our relationship. I finally wised up towards the end (I was young, too trusting and very stupid. Live and learn) They married a few months later and have been miserable together ever since.

    Since then (6 years ago), I made it a point not to be the rebound or emotional tampon for any woman. Yeah, it could progress into something more, but I wouldn't take any chances. Plenty of fish man...
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You can actually call my current relationship a "rebound" on both our parts. He had recently gotten out of a 21 month relationship maybe 3 months prior (and hadn't really dated anyone since). I had literally just ended a pretty short term relationship compared to his just a month before we started dating (we actually met when I was with my ex weeks earlier).

    I think the reason it worked is because we didn't start the relationship with the idea that it'd be serious, or long-lasting. We didn't put any pressure on one another. He was over his ex and the more I got to know him the faster I was over mine because I realized how much of a better fit I was with my new bf.

    2 years later we are going very strong, best relationship I've ever been in all because we went into it with a level head and no expectations.

    The majority of rebounds never work out for the simple fact that most people jump straight into another relationship because they are lonely, they feel bad abnout themselves, and don't know how to live alone. They need contact and never spend the important time to get closure on why they broke up with their ex's and why is was for the better.

    It's very situational though. You could get a girl who truly fell out of love with her ex and is emotionally ready to meet someone new....or you could get the girl who was dumped, heartbroken and just clung to the next guy who gave her the time of day. It sounds like you (TS) have found a girl who is emotionally stable and ready for another relationship, however, I stand firm in the idea that you should take it slow and as it comes.
     
  7. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    for the most part, i would say that rebound dont tend to work for anything more than just a few months, however, that is the opposite of what happened with me

    my SO was with his gf for 4 years, broke up with her 2 months before we got together. i broke up with my ex of 3 years a few days before we got together. It wasnt serious between us for a long time, but it was always exclusive. 3 years later, we are still together, getting married in november and honestly couldnt be happier. oh yeah, we were best friends for 2 years prior to dating, so that might have helped the smooth transition into something serious as opposed to just sex
     
  8. le_rocks

    le_rocks New Member

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    Yea I feel that too :h5: She lost passion and love for him long ago, and she ended it with him, so I figure it can't be that bad cause, like she said, technically they've been broken up months ago, they've just been running through the routine together til she ended it.

    Thanks for the other advice, we're taking it slow, we've messed around but no sex yet, just enjoying each other's company and hanging out. Hope it all works out. :bigthumb:
     
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2008
  9. le_rocks

    le_rocks New Member

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    Congrats! :wavey: Yea I already told her, if we become serious that's it. I'm not doing the whole dating scene and fucking around anymore, I'm ready to settle, gettin too old.
     
  10. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    your post + your av = :rofl:
     
  11. Mugen92GS-R

    Mugen92GS-R New Member

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    I went on my first date with my current GF just 3 days after I was forced to break up with my ex because I found out she was cheating on me. Things were ok for a while, but about 2 months in I got really cold feet and broke it off with her. About a month and a lot of thinking later, I realized it was a dumb idea, and that I got cold feet because we dated too soon after my ex and I wasn't ready for another relationship.

    Thankfully, she took me back and we're happy as can be :love:

    She actually just made me a steak dinner last night :bowdown:
     
  12. Mugen92GS-R

    Mugen92GS-R New Member

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    And also, more on the topic:

    Rebound relationships don't fail because theres something wrong about the person you're dating. You have just the same chance of finding someone great or someone lame whether you're on the rebound or not.

    Rebound relationships fail because the person on the rebound isn't going to be emotionally open enough to reasonably assess the perks and flaws of their new SO. I know when I started dating my current GF (see above) I was comparing her all the time (in my head) to my ex, when I should have been evaluating her on her own merit.

    Rebounds fail because the parties involved aren't able to fully connect with each other on the same level.
     
  13. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    I started dating my bf very soon after my ex and I broke up, but we were friends for years before and I think I had a thing for him most of that time :o
    we've been dating a year now
     
  14. ahtnamas

    ahtnamas OT Supporter

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    I met my bf literally the day after my ex dumped me and we're working out fine
     
  15. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    I've seen it work for others (but usually not work ... like most relationships) but I specifically avoid it. Come back in 2-3 months and see if there are still feelings is what I'd do (obviously this is before getting in a relationship).
     
  16. le_rocks

    le_rocks New Member

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    :o The av is like a year or two old. :mamoru:
     
  17. enfiniti

    enfiniti How firm thy friendship ... OHIO!

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    never works


    you will always end up comparing this person to your ex. You cant NOT make the comparison because it is still fresh.

    It does help curb the emotions tho
     
  18. arsbu

    arsbu New Member

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    I always felt rebound relationships were to get sexed up and feel loved. (i.e. using the other person for your self esteem).

    Of course sometimes you fall in love with that person. But the premise to it scares me.
     
  19. LS1>

    LS1> OT Supporter

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    I have been in the rebound spot. If I find a chick thats just gotten out of relationship then I just play it cool. Keep her around until she has gotten over her ex. Short relationships suck.
     
  20. le_rocks

    le_rocks New Member

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    Update: Broke up today. So my vote goes to, does not work, again. :o Almost one month.

    Inside story: She kept checking up on my ex and kept comparing herself to her and saying that maybe I was meant to be with my ex instead. Also kept saying I was something I'm not. Blah blah blah....
     
  21. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Sorry to hear, but oh well. On to the next.
     
  22. krazywulph

    krazywulph Guest

    Reason I got back with my ex
     
  23. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    :werd:

    i tend to agree with this. despite only having a handful of "official" relationships, i've always decided [on my own] not to engage in another relationship directly after a break-up because i've always been tore up about the end of the relationship. the time between my decision to date again has always varied depending on the length of the relationship with that particular ex. :dunno: i just couldn't see myself dating another guy and inevitably hurting him when he didn't match up to my previous ex. :rofl: i guess i do have somewhat of a heart ;)

    i actually think it's healthier to be alone for a while and focus on yourself. :) i do, however, have friends that jump in and out of relationships aaaall the time, and EACH guy they date is "the one." :rolleyes: :ugh:
     
  24. camrytt

    camrytt Sexual Deviant

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    I voted no. I was a rebound for a girl that I knew since high school. It seemed great for a while, but then one day she told me that she likes me but she has had a crush on my best friend for years. I let her go and told my buddy that she liked him, gave them my blessing etc etc. They ended up getting married and having a kid.

    Fast forward 2 years.
    She pretty much brainwashed my now ex-bestfriend into thinking I'm a terrible person, I've lost all my friends from home, and umm yeah. I used to go to that dudes house every year for christmas, new years, all the major holidays, and now I don't think I can ever see him or any of his family again.

    cliffs: rebound relationships are ftl.
     
  25. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    It's all about the individuals involved. I've been in rebound relationships that were doomed from the start, but I've also been in rebound relationships that were better than the ones they rebounded from. Simple answer= there is no simple answer.
     

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