SRS Realizing the truth

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by BBQ Monster, Feb 1, 2005.

  1. BBQ Monster

    BBQ Monster New Member

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    How do I begin? Well, I have this friend that has caused alot of problems in my life. I have lost alot of precious things due to this friends actions. I never realy thought that it was because of him, I just thought it was me.... But, then one day he came over and told me I was a alcoholic because I drink sometimes on the weekends. He is always depressed, sad, and I have done so much in order to help him, all I got in return from him was me losing the rest of my friends because he wanted me to be on his side.

    Let me move back some. A few months back he told me some things about a certain person in my life that made me think differently of them... I should not of lisened to him, but I did, so instead of asking this person if it was true I agreeded with my other friend and hurt the person (at that time) that meant so much too me.

    Now that I have God in my life once again I am trying to make things right with the people I have hurt in the past, due to me being ignorant and lisening to this so called friend. I want to mend things with my past and my present. I have tried talking to the person I hurt dearly, but he told me he could not talk to me because he did not know how too anymore. I asked him if he wanted me to stay away he said, no I just feel weird(which is understandable). So now that I am trying to take one step at a time and admit I am wrong and what I did was wrong, what else is there? I mean if I have caused this person so much pain due to my actions in being imature and irational, I just do not think I could live with myself. Knowing I hurt someone so deeply that they just want to stay away. I know it is his choice I cannot change that, but I want to make things right so bad. I am not asking him to forgive me but give me a second chance.

    You are probably asking yourself what I did.... Well me and the guy I am talking about use to go out in the past. We had a great time until my grandmother died. I felt trapped and alone. I took my anger out at the track, and lisened to my other friend who told me I probably did not need a boyfriend at the time. I agreeded why? I have no idea. He then told me I should start talking to my ex again, which I did. I eneded up back with my ex, which is good in most ways. But, the way I handled things with the guy I was with was so imature. I know my friend was not twisting my arm to do this, but he just sounded so convincing.. I have later found out that this so called friend was doing this because he wanted me all to himself. And he thought the guy I am with now would of dumped me by now, and I would go cry on his shoulder. Ha, never going to happen now that I have figured him out.

    So my question is now that I have realized how stupid I have been, and what I did to the people I care about, how can I fix it? How can I make them see I do mean I am sorry and I want to start over like all of us were, friends.


    -Heather
     
  2. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

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    We all learn from our mistakes. You went the extra mile by trying to resolve this past conflict. (Many people wouldn't have the courage or compassion to do that.)
    It's regrettable that this person labeled you an alcoholic for drinking moderately.

    www.ginkworld.net
     
  3. Jester

    Jester OT Supporter

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    I know how you feel; I've been unfair to people in the past. You can't change what is done, and you can't make everything OK again. You CAN make yourself available to them if they want your company, but you can't expect them to let you back in their life after they have moved on simply because you want things to be the way they were.

    You need to move on as well. You recognize mistakes that you've made. In fairness to the people that you've hurt, you cannot allow yourself to forget how you made them feel. You owe it to everyone you meet, and yourself, to act in a way that will lead to a more lasting happiness.

    Not to be trite, but I think you need to realize that the world does not revolve around you. Just because you want something to happen so that you feel better does not mean that everyone else should bend to your wishes. Usually it is best to hold on to those happy memories you have with great fondness, but not to try and make them happy again. Real life usually doesn't give endings like you see in the movies.

    Don't spend too much time remembering Yesterday's sunset; you might miss sunrise Tomorrow.
     
  4. BBQ Monster

    BBQ Monster New Member

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    I do not just think of myself, I have realized somethings and that is why I am posting this. I at least am trying. It takes two people to make ends meet. I guess Iwill never know. But, I will move on to more friends if it is not sorted out.
     
  5. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    You've made the effort to make things right, which is a step far too many are afraid to take...now it's up to those you are trying to make up with to decide if they want to give you a second chance. If they decide not to, then perhaps God has a good reason for you to not be surrounded by these people anymore and a door to new and better things will open up :)
     
  6. johan

    johan Active Member

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    "wanting a thing does not make it so" That's just about the only good line out of that whole series.
     

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