SRS Realising Your Not That Attractive (5.5-6 out of 10)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by 604Striker, Oct 4, 2007.

  1. 604Striker

    604Striker New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2007
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    CLIFF NOTES: realize I'm unattractive through life experience; then list adjustments I've made because of it.

    I’m 28, and I’ve basically had to realize that I’m not that attractive of a person. I stand less than 5’9, but I have a slim build but I work out. I don’t have a classically attractive face, although sometimes it can look ok when I’m smiling. I’m the son of two immigrant parents, and the nationality I am is not at the bottom of status in Canada, but it is more of a lower status one. I’ve got the kind of looks where I can win someone over who’s attractive if:

    -I get immediate credibility with a good word or intro from a credible source
    -there isn’t much competition around competing for a target
    -she takes the time to get to know who I am

    Realizing that you’re unattractive can be a difficult thing to deal with. Society blasts so many sexual images at us (Maxim, Girls Gone Wild, Victoria Secret, MTV, Beauty and the Geek) and it makes you want to get up and go out and pound some Lindsay Lohanesque piece of ass. Then reality sets in and you remember that your just one of those guys who doesn’t have the looks or the Alpha-maleness to pull it off.

    I'm honestly just looking for a girl I'm attracted to. She doesn't even have to be smoking hot.


    As the years have gone by, I’ve been more reminded of my place in the game of attraction, but it still hurts my feelings sometimes to be reminded. It sucks going out to the bars, and being too timid to approach women. Then the few you actually do get the nerve to approach – nothing happens. No signs of eye contact or interest from slutty or horny women. I’m just not that guy who visually stands out in an appearance based setting.

    Rather than continue to feel sorry for myself, I’ve used my experience and knowledge to adjust for my lack of looks. I’m gonna share what changes I make, but feel free to comment or add to them.

    Avoid situations where looks are emphasized:
    -I will limit my time in nightclub to only birthday or stag celebrations. The more time I spend in clubs, the more I’m reminded that I just wasn’t blessed with the strong genetics that women are searching. Online dating is especially based on your picture and looks. If trying to meet girls, I’d prefer to meet through friends of friends, where they can get to know me through my personality, rather than judge me on my looks.

    -Take part in activities where looks aren’t emphasized. I play sports, watch movies, play video games and play poker. These games, you can take more value in your skill and just enjoy the activity, rather than be reminded that you’ll never be Brad Pitt. Endorphins from exercise are a great way to make you feel good.

    -Avoid hanging out with pretty boy friends. The pretty boys will just take any focus women have away from you. I also have one friend who has to let me know of every situation where women are completely throwing themselves at him for immediate sexual gratification. He’s a good guy, but brags a bit too much. It just sucks to hear how easy it is for him, while I’m high and dry.

    -Take the time that I’d use trying to pick up girl to focus on strengthening other areas of my life that will make me more attractive. I’m talking mainly about your career. Chicks love money. It is definitely a huge attraction point along with looks, height, muscles, personality, and status. Take the time to do better in those classes, or perform better on the job so I can get ahead and make up for my lack of being a pretty boy. Also, instead of focusing on going to clubs all the time, you can focus on hobbies and gain more skill at them. Examples would be golf, poker, bowling, video games, kickboxing, etc.

    -Adjusting where money is spent. Rather than spending money on going out to the bar all the time, focus on saving up for a condo. Chicks are also turned on by a guy who has his life together. I’m gonna focus on being more achieving/responsible with my life, than being that crazy party boy. The party boy role works, but you have to have the looks/personality/expendable bank roll to pull it off.
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2007
  2. donraj

    donraj New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2007
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    That was actually really interesting and informative to me because I feel that I can relate strongly to you. I've never been the most attractive guy, neither has my brother or dad. I have a personality where I can get almost anyone to laugh though; and the point you brought up about SITUATION is very interesting.

    I've been pursuing in the same situation by the way my friend does, though he's had about 8 girls and I've had 0. Be, being different socially then he (not as avaricious in my attempts, or as attractive); I would be in essence competing in his field where genetically I didn't have a strong chance. On the other hand, I had much more confidence to go and talk to a random girl then he did, which by his classical definition was a complete contradiction. For him it was this simple logic; be open, talk to them, don't care what they think. That only works for HIM because of who he is, what he looks like.

    I'm currently starting a 6day 1 day off bodybuilding routine where I cycle 3days the same muscles twice a week. So physically I'm improving myself, which in any scenario is very important. I recently lost 40 pounds so I've changed alot.

    Friends of friends; stuff like that, just getting to know people and being friendly with everyone is the best you can do for eventually drawing someone in, I think. I mean people like me ok I just am not very successful drawing people that would be sexually attracted to me. We have to be competitive in this survivalists nature of boy/girl pair bonding.

    Like he was saying, money, a "put together" look, great personality (what else do you have to work with :p), and other things that appeal to a less sycophantic slut that will be appeal to your survivalists nature and love you for who you are, extremely attractive face or not.

    Thanks for making this post, by the way.
     
  3. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2006
    Messages:
    405
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Fort Liquordale, FL
    Unfortunately, I can't relate.

    Though I'm not a 10, the ladies on HotorNot said I was a 9.5.

    :big grin:

    Seriously though, you said it yourself. It's the alpha male-ness. Work on your self confidence -- the rest will come.

    I really can't relate though, because my confidence has never really dependent upon what women thought of me. My confidence comes from within.
     
  4. JustJeff

    JustJeff www.youtube.com/thisisjustjeff

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2006
    Messages:
    1,651
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Long Island // Virginia Tech
    If a person is solely judging you on your looks, you wouldn't want to be with that girl anyway.
     
  5. kiri

    kiri New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2006
    Messages:
    25,186
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Miami, FL
    if it helps, just stop and think how lucky you are that you're not an unattractive GIRL.

    IMO, being an unattractive girl is much worse than a guy, because guys are visually stimulated, and girls (unlike guys) can BECOME physically attracted to a guy because of his personality, even if he's not that good looking. i know this is true to some extent for guys but definitely not as much.

    i went through all of middle/high school being only able to attract guys because of my personality, and even though people liked me a lot, i was very insecure and all i wanted was to be pretty. once i got to college, i sort of accepted my position in life and decided to stop worrying about my looks. luckily after that, i sort of finished developing (i was a late bloomer) and now i'm good looking too :bigthumb:

    but i can sympathize with you... and don't worry, you'll find someone. although the only caution i give is that you shouldn't emphasize your money so much (unless all you are looking for is a pretty, shallow girl who will stay with you for your money). if you want a meaningful relationship with someone, emphasize your personality. there are people out there who value more than looks :)
     
  6. JustJeff

    JustJeff www.youtube.com/thisisjustjeff

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2006
    Messages:
    1,651
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Long Island // Virginia Tech
    Hot or Not has ruined the way that everyone looks at themselves o_0
     
  7. 00600

    00600 New Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2005
    Messages:
    157
    Likes Received:
    0
    Real people go for personality over looks. Though looks may be the first thing people notice, if they don't bother to check out the personality, then they're pretty shallow IMO.
     
  8. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    That sounds really sad i honestly hope you find someone significant in your life who values you for your personality.
     
  9. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2005
    Messages:
    110,609
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland
    sounds like you limit yourself to life.

    why limit yourself to life based on how you look? granted, society does base everthing solely on looks it seems, but you can't go around and say "oh i'm ugly/not attractive, so i'm not gonna go to this social function, or i'm not gonna show my face today."

    i hear ya on the whole "not being attractive" thing. But in all honesty, personality is key. If you are somewhat confident and have other things going for you (intellect, character, charm) people will notice these things and looks won't be the primary attractive thing.
     
  10. daneeyah

    daneeyah Guest

    Confidence is sexy.

    So if you lack physical attraction then work on your confidence and bring that sky high.
    Girls will notice it, and be attracted to it.
    IMO, I would most likely be attracted to someone who is whatever on the looks side, but really high up there confidence wise... but thats just me.
    It really makes a difference, and people can tell.

    And one of the ways that you can bring your confidence level up is by working out... do you?
     
  11. mrchina

    mrchina Guest

    If you have to make a lot of money in order for you to feel good looking girls will want to hang out with you, you're setting yourself up for a very, very bad time.
     
  12. 604Striker

    604Striker New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2007
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yes I do work out. I have a pretty decent build for a short slim guy. I can pack on a bit of muscle for a guy with a small frame.
     
  13. 604Striker

    604Striker New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2007
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    The adjustments I had in mind were designed not only to boost my self esteem, but also to protect it from being damaged, and protect me from situations where I will doubt myself and my value.

    I don't think there's anything wrong with my adjustments, I'm just more up front about them. Attractive girls go to clubs more often than average looking girls so than can boost their esteem. Smart people engage in more activities challenging this strength such as poker, chess, and other games. People who are naturally good athletes engage in more athletic activities.

    My adjustments are just my way of not putting to much time in activities where I'm lacking the qualities required to succeed, and focusing my time and efforts in areas that will give more back to me.
     
  14. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2002
    Messages:
    64,128
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Philly, PA
    I've seen smoking hot chics with below average looking guys, they must have a lot of confidence and a good personality so if you get those 2 covered I wouldnt worry too much
     
  15. Joseph Scumsworth

    Joseph Scumsworth OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2002
    Messages:
    19,025
    Likes Received:
    40
    Location:
    Chicagoland-ish
    Pretty disenchanting, isn't it?

    I'm just learning to be content without. Oh yeah and keep working out, I started. Like any decent fat sack of shit should. :coold:
     
  16. eroctreezy

    eroctreezy OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2007
    Messages:
    11,455
    Likes Received:
    2
    Hey dude, attractiveness is all in the eye of the beholder, I know some fat guy's that pull hot hot hot girl's it's really all bout personality you don't gotta be a willie stunner in the look's dept it's about how you present your self, and the presence you have with people, if you are rolling around feeling self pitty that you think you are un-attractive you are gonna be wearing that on your sleeve and people see that, even though you don't think so having the gift of gab work's wonders on females..

    so with that said up that confidence and go pull a hot chick :big grin:
     
  17. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    I know it's hard to believe, but personality does really win out over everything else. I'm the perfect example, my girlfriend easily an 8-9, I'd consider myself a 5 tops, probably a 4. I'm a 6' fat guy, but it's all about confidence and charm. She's told me before when we first met she thought I was an arrogant prick..................guess I won her over. ;)
     
  18. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2006
    Messages:
    32,407
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    OKC
    You know what striker, good for you for not whining and complaining about how unfair life is. You're out there trying to make the most with what you've been given. I have a much greater respect for people that overcome obstacles than people who have it easy in life. I really can't relate to those who have it easy.

    I'm hopeful that you'll find a woman that appreciates you for who you really are, not just your looks. Hopefully you'll find her to be a knockout and you can stop worrying about your looks. Until then, keep up the good work bro!!
     
  19. Genghis.Tron

    Genghis.Tron New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2002
    Messages:
    5,188
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Great White North
    Being an arrogant prick which fights for what he wants and is hated because of it is way better than being a spineless guy which people don't hate. That's what I think though.
     
  20. 604Striker

    604Striker New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2007
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    I can agree with that.

    I have a buddy who is cocky. He cracks bad jokes, and is loud and at times obnoxious. I find some people totally find him annoying, while some people find him hilarious.

    He offends alot of girls, yet he still manages to pick up his fair share. He's a love him/hate him kinda guy. Way better than being the quiet guy who offends no one, but is also noticed by no one.
     
  21. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    As if you would even begin to know how confident you would be, were you fugly.
     
  22. Soren

    Soren OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2002
    Messages:
    37,554
    Likes Received:
    5
    It's amsuing that you rate yourself a 5.5-6 and call you're "not that attractive".

    Do you realize you're above the majority of the population in looks, based on your rating? Be happy about that.
     

Share This Page