Reading SO's email?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Dr. Kenneth Noisewater, Sep 19, 2006.

  1. Dr. Kenneth Noisewater

    Dr. Kenneth Noisewater New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2004
    Messages:
    1,802
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Voting for Ron Paul
    If you had access to your SO's email, would you snoop through it? What if you had reason to be suspicious, then would it be ok?
     
  2. Bush77

    Bush77 New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2004
    Messages:
    4,814
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto, Canada
    most people on here will tell you it's not ok because it shows that you dont trust her, and that if you are suspicious then the relationship is already in a lot of trouble.
     
  3. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2004
    Messages:
    4,413
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NOVA
  4. Miss Red

    Miss Red New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2004
    Messages:
    1,391
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ohio
    Absolutely. And that doesn't even begin to touch on what an absolute invasion of privacy that is.
     
  5. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2004
    Messages:
    3,903
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Vancouver
    Stlye's always so smart :mamoru:

    I have access to it and I do read it....but it has nothing to do with what you said...lol sometimes she asks me to, as she doesn't have time.

    But...no...don't read....namely because I don't care....no need to
     
  6. Zaffir

    Zaffir OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2003
    Messages:
    38,275
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Seattle
    Yes, but not because I don't trust her. I just like to know what's going on in her life, and she doesn't share details often :wiggle:
     
  7. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    I read my husband's email daily... as he does mine. We share an account
     
  8. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    7,705
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Another reality apparently
    When we started dating, about the time it got serious I guess, my now wife and I gave each other all our passwords to everything.

    Anyone that argues that it is an invasion of privacy, and that someone has trust issues because they snoop, is only saying so because they have something to hide.

    There is absolutely no reason anything should be kept from a serious SO, and if you catch them snooping, there is no reason to be upset unless they were about to find something you didnt want them to find.

    I told my wife and she told me the same: Snoop all you want, do you best to find dirt on me, because I will never cheat on you, and it is always all out there to make sure of it.

    I would only be suspicious if she didnt let me see something. Making sure you SO has access to everything you have and all your communications shows that you care about the relationship and want to make it work. It also makes it alot harder for you to cheat if you ever get that stupid idea in your head. By doing this you protect yourself from doing something stupid, and you protect your SO from having trust issues.

    Everything should always be open in a real relationship.
     
  9. erobbins

    erobbins Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2003
    Messages:
    81,031
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    under the 13th street causeway
    private communication is just that, private :hsd:

    I would never, unless she asked me to for some reason.
     
  10. Zaffir

    Zaffir OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2003
    Messages:
    38,275
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Seattle
    :hsughr:
     
  11. lauren

    lauren Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2005
    Messages:
    38,880
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Palo Alto, CA
    not a good idea :hsd:
     
  12. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,466
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    the streets
    Back in the olden days I used to read my ex's sent-mail by ftp'ing in to her school account and downloading the sent-mail folder.

    This was wrong and I wouldn't do this now. Everyone is entitled to their privacy.

    I learned many interesting things however. I also used to read her diary.
     
  13. JunTao

    JunTao Wheel kick to YO FACE! OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2002
    Messages:
    44,220
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NJ
    nope it's none of my business... and i respect her privacy as much as she should my own
     
  14. enfiniti

    enfiniti How firm thy friendship ... OHIO!

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2006
    Messages:
    4,813
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Columbus
    Ive never snooped around in my girlfriends email, but I've caught her on several occasions snooping around my email, website history, AIM friends, so on. You know honestly I should be bothered by that but I really dont care to hide anything so I say so be it.
     
  15. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2004
    Messages:
    3,903
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Vancouver
    NOPE :big grin:....I usually agree with your comments. Majority of the time I could just quote you and say DITTO

     
  16. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2002
    Messages:
    18,783
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Lansing, MI USA
    So you can't suprise her with birthday presents or anything? That's my biggest argument against having access to EVERY everything. I agree that most everything should be open like that, because even under circumstances that something would happen to one or the other party, nothing would be totally lost. However, if I wanted to do something nice for an SO behind her back, I'd want to know I could keep it from her until I wanted her to know. :wavey:
     
  17. 88rover

    88rover New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2006
    Messages:
    1,821
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Michigan
    I have axcess to it but I don't read it just because, it's hers and I dont want her doing it to me.
     
  18. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    RedVsBlue has just taken the correct and snooped through its email inbox :)

    The only thing that might be personal would be like financial info or something, but for the most part, I agree with you.
     
  19. gkremian

    gkremian New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2006
    Messages:
    2,236
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    I have problems with privacy issues like that. Even if you do not have anything to hide, it isn't the place of your significant other to go rifling through all your personal email, or anything, for that matter. It's like being tapped by the feds.. you might not be doing anything wrong at all, but don't you just feel.... violaed? I dunno how to put it other than that.
     
  20. [DWI]

    [DWI] Master of Nothing

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2000
    Messages:
    21,936
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maine
    I had her email, but never bothered checking it even when I was worried.

    If you go looking for problems you will either find them or make them.
     
  21. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    If you don't have anything to hide why be so private about your password? I could care less if my boyfriend went through all my sites.
     
  22. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    Curiosity? It's your S/O, after all, most of what you find will probably be of interest to you.
     
  23. Riot

    Riot OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2004
    Messages:
    15,144
    Likes Received:
    13
    Location:
    Sno Cal
    i have. she was acting suspicious, and when i asked her about it she gave me an even more suspicious answer, so i looked at it and it was a good thing i did.
     
  24. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    Just keep in mind that if you're having those feelings in the first place, that's probably a red flag.
     
  25. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2005
    Messages:
    15,951
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Charlotte, NC
    Not just for the hell of it. However, I think it's justifiable to go looking if you have reasonable cause (note: not because you're overly jealous or paranoid). Better to find out sooner than later.

    However, it really shouldn't have to get to that point. If she's cheating, all it means is that by now you should have known well enough to dump her.

    For the record, I did snoop on my ex, many months too late, and found out she'd been fucking around. But the second statement applies like you wouldn't believe. (I should have dumped her 6 months in... instead I held on for 3 years out of a mixture of low self-esteem, fear of loneliness, and savior complex)
     
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2006

Share This Page