rate my fail

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by eter, Nov 22, 2008.

  1. eter

    eter New Member

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    went out with this old friend of mine (22) for a beer. she had just gotten out of a 3 yr relationship so I wasn't thinking it was going to go anywhere - dont want to be a rebound guy. turns out we had a really good talk and so I asked her out again.

    we went to the movies and after, I walked her to her car and just told her straight out I'd like to see her again on a more frequent basis. for some reason I was very obviously nervous while telling her this and when I went in for the kiss (after she said it'd be cool if we saw each other more), she was totally not expecting it and it ended up being a kiss halfway on the cheeks and halfway on the lips, with our eyes open. she was obviously surprised and shy about it so I just went in for another and it went better, but it was still kind of awkward.

    we had another date and again I pushed for us to go further and again she followed but seemed uncertain. now im seeing her again tonight. i gave her a way out for tonight after thinking about it, in case she was feeling it was too fast, but she insisted i come anyway.

    this brings me to my question, fello OT'ers. should I have a talk with her to clear things out, or will that make it seem like im insecure? ive tried to back off and she came running ("i cant wait to see you tonight" etc.), so I think I might just keep being sort of indifferent and let her make the moves. on the other hand, our past dates have been kind of awkward so a talk could clear those things out.

    rate my failure so far and help determine appropriate course of action.
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You knew going into it that she's out of a long term relationship. Just because she accepts dates with you doesn't mean she's ready for a relationship or anything sexual at all (including a kiss). IMO you'd be better off backing away. If she comes running great, but having a "talk" right now would probably just serve awkward with her being so shy about things.
     
  3. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    id say keep pushing the situation and see what happens she hasnt completely turned you down yet maybe some persistence will win you some pussy
     
  4. fray

    fray New Member

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    this works if you are going strictly for pussy. if you're hoping for a relationship, don't rush it.
     
  5. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    he should be going strictly for pussy hes the rebound guy........
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Well he doesn't want that, which is why he shouldn't push it.
     
  7. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    it doesnt matter what he wants, rebound guy is all hes going to get... so he should settle for all hes gonna get IMO
     
  8. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    :werd:

    If the OP takes his time and doesn't rush anything she'll find a new rebound guy and it'll kill things between him and her. He is walking a thin line, but if he doesn't make a claim they'll fizzle and he'll have nothing.
     
  9. bjonesy77

    bjonesy77 New Member

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    If she tells you "I cant wait to see you tonight" you're good to go. She may have found it cute that you were nervous around her. I'd push it a little further tonight if I were you. I'm not talking about trying to take her home with you, but let her catch you looking at her (not stalkerishly) once or twice. Smile at her when she catches you. Forget about the relationship she just got out of, you dont know anything about how/why it ended. Maybe their relationship was dead a year ago and they were just going through the motions. If thats the case, you're no longer in rebound territory IMO
     
  10. eter

    eter New Member

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    you are all very wise, thanks for the advice.

    oh, and by "pushing further" the last time we saw each other, I mean I asked her to come in after we came back from dinner (3rd date). she said something like "oh ok, I have to go soon though", but eventually we were kissing on the couch. I then asked her if she wanted to come upstairs and she accepted but said we couldn't do anything because she was in her period (she later admitted that she also wasn't feeling ready, which is probably the only reason she said she was in her period in the first place). We just slept together and did nothing serious.

    Now, at this point I was wondering what to do because I keep feeling like she's uncertain but she keeps saying yes (or almost yes) everytime I make a move.

    From reading your posts, I've decided I won't bring up the "what are we" or any sort of awkward talk, but I'll definately give her a chance to send me home even if in my mind the next logical step is for us to have sex. I'm thinking at this point since I already offered her sex last time she knows I'm interested, so I don't have to be agressive, especially since I want this to last.
     
  11. Hahawhat?

    Hahawhat? New Member

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    Best advice for now, relax and just enjoy your time together. Seems like your stressing out if she likes you or what you should do, this will mess the relationship up or any chance of it. All you should be wanting to do now is have fun with her and see where it goes. Put your hands in the air and start riding the rollercoaster of life.
     
  12. HHOTEK

    HHOTEK New Member

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    Dont be pushy by any means and dont act like you want her too much but show her you want her a little with a possibility of wanting her more. thats a really hard thing to do and find that fine line but when find it shes yours
    and if she seemed a little put off by progressing forward slow down wait for it she will let you know when its a go it will be subtle so pay attention

    goodluck
     
  13. ASoT

    ASoT New Member

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    She's probably not over her ex yet so naturally it feels weird to kiss a different guy. I'd ask her straight up how long she's gonna need to get over him. Let her sense your impatience about the situation and feel a bit pressured to get over her ex. Sounds like she kinda likes you but needs a little push to take it further. Another possibility is that she just got out of a long term relationship and it's her first time being single in a long time. She might not want to rush into another relationship, she just wants to enjoy her independence for a bit. Don't be aggressive physically, let her make that decision. She'll come when she's ready.
     
  14. forgotmyname

    forgotmyname Active Member

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    Why are you backing off right now after pushing for her? Just go ahead and do what you have to do.
     
  15. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    nice guy fail approach right here folks


    if she figures her ex is out fucking..... PLAY BALL

    go rebound guy go get yo dick wet
     
  16. victimizati0n

    victimizati0n New Member

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    from everything i have learned about women, even though you feel you want to talk, etc, NEVER ever do that.

    just let it be, 9 times out of 10 having a little talk with her will be disastrous
     
  17. ASoT

    ASoT New Member

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    It's not really a nice guy approach, it's an ultimatum approach. You basically tell her "look, you either pick me or you spend the next 4 months depressed and thinking about your ex."
    She knows she doesn't wanna be hung up on him, but she needs to come to the realization herself. You can't force it, all you can do is nudge her in the right direction.
     
  18. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I'm going to go ahead and agree with abomb. So long as you realize you're the rebound guy and that a relationship with this girl is out of the question, there's no harm in getting your dick wet.
     
  19. eter

    eter New Member

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    Well, I scored yesterday.

    Before things got too intimate she stopped me and asked me how I felt about her. She was actually more worried about me seeing her as just a girl to fool around with than I was about being a rebound guy. I think we have something real.
     
  20. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    She's just saying that so you won't think she's a slut. :o

    You're a rebound guy, man. Give it some time before you allow yourself to think you have something "real."
     
  21. dan7532

    dan7532 New Member

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    Wow. That's all I can say.

    :mamoru:
     
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2008
  22. GTP

    GTP New Member

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    Sorry dude, I am 99% sure this is rebound material.
     
  23. GizmoR

    GizmoR New Member

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    actually, if you check rebound in wikipedia, your are going to find his story posted there.
     
  24. eter

    eter New Member

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    been a month and a half. her ex (it was him that left her) came crawling back as predicted a few weeks ago, promessed her he'd changed, said he realized what he'd lost, that he'd go away with her to europe next summer and that they could move in together again, and she resisted.

    my girl is the bomb, I don't know how many other women wouldn't have fallen for that manipulative shit, it would have been so easy for her to go back to her old life but she has enough respect for herself and self-esteem to know better.
     
  25. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    eh..............can't wait to see your post in a couple weeks :mamoru:
     

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