SRS Quick question/poll about "The One"...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Obnoxious, Apr 11, 2005.

?

Well...?

  1. Yes, it's a puzzle piece.

    13 vote(s)
    61.9%
  2. No, anyone can match anyone.

    7 vote(s)
    33.3%
  3. Your question must be in latin, dude.

    1 vote(s)
    4.8%
  1. Obnoxious

    Obnoxious OG as fuck.

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    Do you believe in the theory that marriages/relationships that work are because the two people were "meant for eachother"?

    Not those two particular individuals... but do you think that there are personality types/genetic makeups/that sort of thing that should fit like a puzzle to form a good union? Or can anyone match with anyone with similar interests?

    If you dont' understand the question, its hard to word heh... sorry.
     
  2. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    every person has a 'ones compliment' someone which balances out their negatives and compliments their positives.... people may marry someone who doesn't, and it may work, but it'll take a lot more energy than people who just 'fit' eachother
     
  3. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    I used to believe in that, but not anymore. Have you ever seen of such a couple? I sure as hell haven't.
     
  4. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Interesting question.

    If you place any worth in MBTI personality typology, which is definitely not a crackpot thing like astrology, then MBTI also has things to say about which personality types combine to form good relationships.

    Read up on it. You'll find it interesting.
     
  5. Mars Princess

    Mars Princess They hatin'

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    While there are people with personality traits that would have the probability of getting along, people's personalities are not these rigid constructs that only operate a certain way in all situations. It takes more than a good fit to create and maintain a good union.
     
  6. ~*Pogovina*~

    ~*Pogovina*~ Whip it! Whip it good!!

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    Even if 2 people love eachother, there are major things that can destroy their relationship. There need to be certain similarities and differences in order for a marriage to be functional, if not enjoyable for both. Sadly I've found this out the hard way.
     
  7. ~*Pogovina*~

    ~*Pogovina*~ Whip it! Whip it good!!

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    nicely put.
     
  8. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    do you have some good links?
     
  9. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    As for the original question, I don't think it's as cut and dried as a puzzle piece. For example, two people who are very different can make things work by committing to each other, by communicating and "agreeing to disagree" about the areas where there is no other compromise. Maybe they agree to go to counselling because they need help with all of that, but they believe in each other and in the marriage itself so somehow they make it work and make themselves happy. On the other hand, two people who are "meant to be" because they operate in the same way and like similar things can totally destroy their marriage and themselves by allowing one thing which was once small to spin out of control.

    I think, too, that it really depends on where you are in your life. The things that make or break a relationship at 20 are water under the bridge at 40. So maybe the right people for you change throughout your life.

    Now, if you can find someone who changes with you as you age and supports your own personal growth as you support theirs... that's when you know you've found "the one".
     
  10. RyeBread

    RyeBread If you tell the truth you don't have to remember a

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    :werd: X 3443453463^2342423423

    My wife and I just finished a course based on the book - divorce proof your marriage.

    Now, let me start of by stating that I'm not sure it's possible to divorce proof a marriage. But the fact that we both were willing to take the course, read the book, and spend the time working with, and communicating with each other made TREMENDOUS inroads into the understanding we both have of/for each otehr, but also the realization that while we are all unique on this planet, we're also all very much grappling with the same basic needs, and miscommunications.

    It also demonstrated to both of us that we both are dedicated to preserving our relationship, and not just for each other, but initially more importantly for our children's sake.

    The only thing that prevents us from accomplishing goals is typically ourselves. Whether it be getting fit, quitting addictive substances, finishing up school, acting impulsively or allowing a relationship to fail.

    Too few people on this planet, and particularily in this country are obsessed with the "what's in it for me?" attitude. One sees it from all of the self help products to the dodging of responsibiliities/blaim...

    That all being said. I loved two other women in my life as much, if perhaps not more than my wife. On some levels, if there is a parallel universe, I'm sure I'm married to them in that other universe. I'm also sure that I'm not as happy in those universes as I am in this one :hs: Neither one of them was willing to work on tough/serious relationship matters while dating, can't imagine them wanting to make an honest effort at it if I were married to them.
     

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