quick question about non-exclusive dating

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Kev07, Oct 21, 2009.

  1. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    you're talking to/dating a girl, you two are not exclusive, everything is pretty vague but there is definetely something more than just physical. you have made out with her fingered her, pretty much everything except actually fucking. you find out she got drunk and kissed another dude. what do you do?

    besides standard start hittin on other bitches, giving her less attention, etc etc

    Note: I am NOT asking if i should be mad or not, I am not angry or trippin about it, what i am asking is what should my next move be.

    after she told me we talked about it and made it clear that we were not exclusive and could date other people, it wasnt negative, i teased her and shit about how i would find a girl before she finds another dude. I am not going to ignore her, but I am definetely going to take away my attention and not take it as cereally as i did before, and start hittin on other girls. am i missing anything?

    the only thing that bugs me (and makes me think this girl is straight crazy) is that at first, i treated it as a fling, but she kept giving off signs that she wanted something more serious, which lead me to treat it more seriously, then she pulls that shit :ugh:. that and while we talked about it, she asked if i would treat her differently if she started seeing another guy, and i said probably. and she got all worked up about it :rofl:
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Why would you ask strangers this?

    This is something only you should decide.

    Do you want to start making out with other chicks? If yes, then do it.
    Do you want to start ignoring her and distance yourself from her? Do it if you feel you can't just have a casual open relationship.
     
  3. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    i'm trying to regain the upper hand, cause even if i dont show it and she doesnt know it (or maybe she does) she has more power right now.

    i dont really want to make out with other chicks, but i definetely could.

    and i can have a casual open relationship, that's what i wanted at first but i was lead to believe this could be a little more cereal so in my current situation, im finding it a little harder to move back to treating it as just a fling.
     
  4. Sirian

    Sirian New Member

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    So you don't want to be exclusive with her? Then go out and act like you normally act when you are single, talk to other girls, fuck other girls, whatever you do when you are single.

    If you want to be exclusive with her then you two need to talk and clarify that.
     
  5. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    i wanted a fling at first, but after things got a little more cereal than that, i started edging towards only talking to her. it was vague but felt pretty mutual.

    i dont think i want exclusivity anymore considering she went out and kissed another dude, not that im mad about it, just changes the way i perceive her. as of right now, im not really sure what i want besides getting the power back between us
     
  6. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    the only reason this is a problem is because your ego is hurting :rofl:
     
  7. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    yes, yes it is

    i like my ego but it r fragile :mamoru:
     
  8. BoomBoomBoy

    BoomBoomBoy Guest

    Seems like you weren't completely honest in the first post. You are pissed she made out with that other guy,;) huh?
     
  9. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    i was a little pissed, i wasnt all rawrawr about it. i definetely didnt show it and i got over it quick


    im saying she has more power right now cause she successfully got me to stop actively hitting on other girls and out of nowhere she made out with some dude
     
  10. Sirian

    Sirian New Member

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    Well that should pretty much let you know what she thinks of the relationship. Either talk to her and try to fix it if you want to become exclusive or go out and act like you are single since you claim to have no problem hooking up with girls.
     
  11. BoomBoomBoy

    BoomBoomBoy Guest

    Here's the bottom line. If you're not exclusive, you can't even get remotely pissed or even miffed at her.

    If you find that it's bothering you, make an exit and move on.

    Otherwise, this shit is going to drive you crazy.
     
  12. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    i guess im just making a thread to get answers that i already know :o
     
  13. BoomBoomBoy

    BoomBoomBoy Guest


    Bingo, bango, bongo.:bigthumb:

    I see that a lot in here. :rofl:
     
  14. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    trust your gut ;)
     
  15. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    this thread makes no sense. Why would you have any reaction at all to her kissing another guy?

    If you want to be exclusive, try to make it exclusive. If she doesnt wasnt to make it exclusive, i suggest you move on because you cant handle it
     
  16. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    This. Saved me the trouble of typing it out myself.
     
  17. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    we talked and agreed after she kissed the dude

    other than that, you're spot on
     
  18. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    you like her. you want more. you never verbalized it. she kissed another dude.

    decide what you want. if you like her tell her you want more. stop playing "upper hand" games.

    if you dont like her more then a fling she can/should do what ever she wants with other guys.
     
  19. calisteph6

    calisteph6 Active Member

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    the whole situation is totally juvenile. I've been in non-exclusive relationships before and other parties never found out I kissed other people. It was a 'don't ask, don't tell policy.' So either you or her are full of drama.
     
  20. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    I don't do don't ask don't tell. Its not what you think though. It only applies to guys I might bump into. I just need to know, because having a guy act all "i banged your girl sucka" and not know whats going on so you can own it "yeah, i let you bang my girl. Awesome isnt she?" is bad news. To be in the presence of a guy who thinks hes getting over on you and not know wtf is going on would be humiliating.


    (obviously this does not get verbalized)
     
  21. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    this.

    whenver i'm trying to do the whole open thing, i always try to make it so we're on the same page for reasons like this.
     
  22. Kyoko

    Kyoko New Member

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    Seems to me that you really like her, but she doesn't feel the same and is having more fun stringing you along instead.

    Look, dude. Exclusive or not, if she liked you - really liked you - she wouldn't fuck or make out with anyone else, regardless of whether you're officially dating. My bf and I started out as fuck buddies over the summer and didn't decide to exclusively date each other until about a month ago.

    Did I go around banging other dudes just because I wasn't "exclusive" to one guy? Or make out with guys at parties or bars? No. I had ample opportunities to get my rocks off with legitimately hot, successful guys, but I didn't want to have anything to do with them because I actually had a crush on the fuckbuddy (who eventually turned out to be the best boyfriend I've ever had). I never planned on us eventually dating, but deep down I felt that it was wrong to fuck other dudes since I actually liked this guy... exclusive dating or not. I dunno, maybe that's just the way I've come to look at my life. That, and the fact that I don't need to have sex with a string of dudes to feel good about myself may also have something to do with it.

    But, this girl you're describing sounds like a game-playing, immature whore. A better man would have dropped her like an ugly baby a long time ago, but I'm assuming that since you're asking what your "next move" should be that you're into game-playing bullshit as well.

    My answer is: fuck her sister. That'll show her.
     
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2009
  23. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Really? The mature option is secrecy?

    You don't know what you're talking about. It isn't juvenile to share info.

    Don't ask don't tell... Lol. (1) If it really isn't wrong then there is nothing to hide, (2) That would be hell for me, personally. I like to know everything down to the last detail.

    To each her own. Don't be juvenile :mamoru:

    Wanting more doesn't have to mean monogamy... just saying. I realize odds are slim the OP is of that attitude but just putting it out there

    There are many reasons...

    IMO don't ask don't tell = you probably shouldn't be polyamorous
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 23, 2009
  24. calisteph6

    calisteph6 Active Member

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    I don't really get that tho...so you sit down to dinner and talk about who you banged/kissed/went on a date with last week, or do you just exchange emails?
     
  25. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    No, you keep it a secret because it is cheating.
     

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