FRK Questions for Doms/Subs

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by djb, May 20, 2005.

  1. djb

    djb New Member

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    I'm interested in what motivates people to assume either dominant or submissive roles in their sexual behavior. There has to be more to it than "it just feels good" or "I like it". Our attitudes and behaviors are shaped by our experiences and our environment, so it's only natural that our sexual desires are similarly influenced as well.

    For Submissives:
    • Are you in a position of authority at work and consequently enjoy the feeling of losing control in a sexual relationship?
    • Did something you experienced as a child or adolescent spur this desire?
    • Do you have feelings of low self-esteem or low self-worth and think you somehow deserve to be humiliated, degraded, or have someone's will imposed upon you?
    For Dominants:
    • Were you hurt physically or emotionally by a woman and feel this is a way assert some authority or exact "revenge" on women?
    • Are you in a subordinate position at work or otherwise unable to assert yourself in life and choose women with low self-esteem in order to assume an authoritative role in a sexual/intimate relationship?
    • Did something you experienced as a child or adolescent spur this desire?
    • What do you get out of subjecting someone to humiliation, discomfort, or degradation?
    It is not my intention to ridicule or criticise anyone for their sexual behavior. I am interested in what events and experiences shaped you into the sexual being that you are today. I realize that there are men who are submissives and females who are dominants, but among participants in this forum women seem to be submissive and males seem to be dominant, so I addressed my questions accordingly. I also realize that many of these questions have negative connotations, but are there really any positive aspects of our psyche that leads us what people consider "deviant" sexual behavior?

    Again, this is not meant to inflame, but rather to initiate thoughtful discussion in a psychological vein to discover what leads people to assume these roles.
     
  2. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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  3. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    Hmm... none of the above. I just love to be choked, slapped, bitten, held down, and roughed up. :whip:

    No particular reason, Frued
     
  4. PaZzEsCo

    PaZzEsCo New Member

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    :werd:
     
  5. FairyTat

    FairyTat Anticipation, the taste of things to cum

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    Why would you assume that all doms are men?
     
  6. Acesn8s

    Acesn8s The Deadman's Hand

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    1) Never hurt (beyond teenaged agnst of course).

    2) I don't like women with low self esteem. The constant whipped dog attitude gets old really quick. My bondage cravens were apparent way before I entered the work force.

    3) No specific event stands strong in my memory from childhood. It's just the way I am. When I was young 7 or 8 I remember watching Batman and the Dukes of Hazard and hoping that Daisy or Batgirl would get tied up. I would day dream about girls that I had crushes on getting into some kind of trouble where they would get tied up and I would show up to rescue them (although the rescue part wasn't as important as them getting tied up :o ).

    Later I didn't want them to get rescued. :naughty:

    4) I actually don't like humiliation or degradation. I want a willing partner who is as excited from being bound as I am seeing them bound.
     
  7. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    I have to answer both because I'm one of those weird ones that enjoys both sides of the track.

    For my sub side:

    - I always take an authoritative role when I'm in public. I'm an intelligent person and I have good common sense, and I tend to be very aggresive in conversation. My friends always looked up to me when I was growing up and came to me for advise. I was a regular Dear Abby. As far as work goes, I am, skill wise, the leader in my office. I haven't been there as long as everyone else, but I do possess more knowledge and I am generally very good at my job. I'm always at the top of the conversation when it comes to solving problems (not because I put myself there but because I'm asked).

    But I'm not sure that my submissiveness stems from that.

    - I don't think that there was anything in my childhood that would make me this way either. I'm an only child and I was spoiled rotten when I was younger. I did get grounded a lot for stupid things when I was in my teens because I really don't think that my parents were ready for children... ever. But I grew up without a whole lot of emotional scars.

    - I do have low selfesteem as of late. I used to be very athletic and well built and now I'm well... not. But I don't enjoy the humiliation or degradation either. It makes me feel even more like shit and totally turns me off.

    For my domme side:

    - I've been hurt by both men and women in my life. Boyfriends and best friends. But it never made me hate people to a point where I would want to see them physically injured.

    - I've already been over the whole work thing... and part of that may be why I like being dominant. It gives me a feeling of self worth and I feel powerful.

    - Childhood... not getting anything from there I don't think.

    - And I like being submitted to. Its not about humiliation (although I did make the SO masturbate for me one time because he was doing it so much that it was ruining our sex life and I was pretty mean to him during it.) or degradation for me. Its just about power. Its about making someone your bitch, having them bend to your every whim... and in the most personal and private ways. Its just hot.

    I'm just weird I guess. I like the best of both worlds... that makes me greedy :naughty:
     
  8. djb

    djb New Member

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    Thanks for the thoughtful replies. They are interesting to read.
     
  9. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    if not long winded :mamoru: :o
     
  10. xela

    xela So say we all!

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    I find that I'm very dominant in my everyday life and I do like to be taken control of in the bedroom.

    Also, I just love the feeling of being totally controlled by someone else. I like the pain, humiliation, etc. Its just the way I like things. I don't know. :dunno:
     

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