questions about swinging

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by devildoll3584, Jul 5, 2005.

  1. devildoll3584

    devildoll3584 New Member

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    ive been exploring the swinging thing the past few days. my boyfriend recently mentioned to me that he could only ever see himself married to a woman who would be fine with sleeping with other people (in each other's presence). he said he sould never do anything unless i was there... so thats better. but i still think if i were to see him fucking some other chick i would probably break down crying right then and there. ive seen it happen in a 3some i had with my best friend and her boyfriend. it was all fun at first but then when he started fucking me i could see this hurt look in her eyes and i knew she had had enough. last night was actually my first experience with swingers, one of my friends is and i was with her and her boyfriend in the hot tub when all of a sudden he started kissing me and fingering me... i just looked at her and she was like "its okay i really dont care, i know who hes going home with tonight" i was like :eek3:! but thats cuz my boyfriend wasnt there and i felt like i had betrayed him. though i know he would actually be excited by the fact that i was starting to open up to this idea. i dont know what i think about all this yet. i just want to find a sexy guy to join me and my bf first... that way i know he wouldnt want to touch him! and he would be the first of us to feel what its like watching the one you love being fucked by someone else. whats everyone elses take on this? i really want to try it out, for him, but i want to go slowly and work myself into it... and get to the point where i like it too
     
  2. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

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    Her mosa? ITS MY MOSA!!!
    Hmmm, I like threesomes with random friends and occasional fuck buddies. But not with someone that I was in love with, nuh uh. But then again I also haven't tried it, so...
     
  3. devildoll3584

    devildoll3584 New Member

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    see thats my thing... ive had 3somes and shit but it was never with MY BOYFRIEND. i really dont know how i would handle it. doesnt really sound like its for me... but ive never tried it either.
     
  4. 0nthesp0tsgirl

    0nthesp0tsgirl New Member

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    devildoll... check your PM's.
     
  5. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

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    Her mosa? ITS MY MOSA!!!
    I don't forsee it as being a good idea if you are having second thoughts about it now.
     
  6. 0nthesp0tsgirl

    0nthesp0tsgirl New Member

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    It's really something you need to talk to your SO about. If you have concerns, bring them up with him and discuss them, in detail. He should understand your reservations at the very least and even if it's something you think you're interested in, but might not be ready for, it's always good to open that door up and talk about it. At least that way you will know how each other feels about it. And it's ok to start small. It's also ok to not really know how you feel about it, but it will make it easier if you start figuring out what you are and aren't ok with. And even if you don't want to tell the reasons behind your decisions to your SO right away, it might be good to look into the reasons for yourself, and that may help you with your decision. Each couple has their own guidelines for what they will and will not do, and they can change also. I think that you've got the right idea as far as going slow and working yourself into it, but you shouldn't do it just for him. In my opinion, it's something you should do because both of you want to do it.
     
  7. devildoll3584

    devildoll3584 New Member

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    yeah i know it should be something i want as well but its more like i want him... my boyfriend. not that he would break up with me if i decided to never swing with him but i know that he sees himself in the future with someone who would. we have talked about it quite a few times but i always tell him that im not ready yet. he is definitely not pressuring me to do it, its something i want to do for him
     
  8. 0nthesp0tsgirl

    0nthesp0tsgirl New Member

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    I'm glad that he's not pressuring you to get into it and it's good that you're talking about it with him. I really think you should think about the various scenarios that are possible though and find one that you would like. Since he seems to be all about it, maybe it would be easier for you if you found a situation you'd like (such as a 3some with another guy like you said above, or even something that doesn't require intercourse on either part) and talked to your guy to see if that was something you could start with. Starting in a situation where other people may be involved, but you're still only having sex with each other may be helpful. I don't know if it's something you've done or thought about, but what about sex in the same room as another couple? No swapping needed. How long have you 2 been together?
     
  9. devildoll3584

    devildoll3584 New Member

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    3 months... ive been living with him for 2
     
  10. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    So after your boyfriend made it very apparent to you that if you do anything it should be in each others presence...

    You let some guy in a hot tub start feeling up on you and fingering you?

    You did betray him, you betrayed his trust. He already set down one rule for the swinging, and you already broke it. Maybe he wont be pissed, but if you have already started breaking the rules, it will only get worse later. Your best bet would be to keep things between you and him. Tell him honestly how you feel and communicate with him.

    I would dump your ass for letting some other guy feel up on you while your bf wasnt even around.
     
  11. BTA

    BTA New Member

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    While I agree with you, I dont think her boyfriend really wants to be with her anyway. Not in the long term.

    He only said that crap about threesomes so he could get a free check to fuck other women too.
     
  12. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Most likely. I know some people really do enjoy swinging and still are faithful to the one they love. I dont necessarily understand that mindset, but I can see it...I guess. Its just funny how she isnt sure about him doing that, and how she will react...yet in the same paragraph talks about how she was cheating on him.

    The double standard she has created is sickening.
     
  13. devildoll3584

    devildoll3584 New Member

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    calm the fuck down bro! in every one of my fucking posts i get attacked by you so i would appreciate if you would just stay out of it from now on. i left the part out where i left the party as soon as the guy touched me... and as soon as i got home i called my BF (i live with him but hes in sacramento til sunday) and told him everything. we talk about everything and as long as im truthful it is okay. we are very close and have a great relationship now that weve finally figured out what we want. anyways... he never proposed a threesome, I did. and he never said he necessarily wanted ME to start swinging with him. we're happy but just looking to the future and opening our eyes to other options. basically, i feel if we get to the point where we are comfortable swinging together, then we will have a closer, more trusting relationship than those who dont. but as ive said a million times im still trying to figure all this shit out
     
  14. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    You have an ignore list. Calm down? Its funny, I didnt even realize I had said anything to you before, you must take notice of me... thanks :) I just called you on some bs I noticed, I did so calmly. Seems like you are the one with the problem. I will continue to point out your stupid BS so that others that chose not to ignore me can see. It makes my day go faster. Its odd that you bring up that I have said something to you before though. It seems you have a problem with these doublestandards then.

    Aww you are going to have a trusting, closer relationship. :rofl: Yea your posts really show that:ugh: Actually it just shows you seem to live in your own little dream world. :rofl: I have seen it happen to people before, your world will crumble down soon enough. Then you will be begging strangers on the internet, once again, to tell you what to do with your life.

    Your man wants to swing because you dont satisfy him. You realize that right? O and btw, it doesnt matter if you left as soon as he touched you, you still LET him touch you. You said it even started as a little kissing, and then he was fingering you. Yea, your boyfriend knows you must be a slut, thats probably why he is with you. He figured you must be up to the idea of swinging :rofl:
     
  15. Smoked

    Smoked $5.50? Man fuck the avatar...how about you just sh

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    You realize that you are the biggest tool in the vag, don't you?

    devildoll, ignore this fucktard and pay attention to whatever onthewetspotgrl is saying. His armchair psychology seems to be based on the same material Tom Cruise studies.

    [​IMG]
     
  16. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    awww are you upset? Its amazing, I seemingly have more people agree with me than bitch at me. Does that make me right? No, but it sure is funny when people bitch about how I am. There is an ignore list...use it if you have a problem. Other than that, I am here giving my opinions like everyone else. If you have a problem with that, then you really need to get over yourself. :rofl: Thank you for noticing me though :rolleyes:
     
  17. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    :rofl: I just had to laugh at this, irony!!!!
     
  18. BTA

    BTA New Member

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    I think you're on your own on this one.
     
  19. Bret The Ripper

    Bret The Ripper I

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    That was a hot story. :naughty:

    IMO swinging isnt something you do with the person you plan to be with forever.

    Its something you do with that bf/gf that you get freaky with but never plan on marrying because you would never trust them. Your that girl. I suggest you have fun, but dont take your relationship that seriously.

    If i were into swinging and trying to get my gf into it, I would be pissed to find out she had a 3 some with out me. Especially with a guy in it.
     
  20. themacstallion

    themacstallion The electric sheep are dreaming up your fate

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    no offense but that sounds like that absolute most unhealthy thing for a relationship, but hey if it works for you guys then i guess theres nothing wrong with that.
     
  21. Smoked

    Smoked $5.50? Man fuck the avatar...how about you just sh

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    Not in the slightest bit.

    Birds of a feather...Besides, not everyone has the balls to call out other people for being dipshits.

    Glad you're amused. I was sure there was something you liked more than posting inane rhetoric.

    Why would I do that? I have no reason to ignore you. It's much more fun to call you a fucktard. It sure is funny when I get to call people fucktards. They have so many different reactions. Y'know, if ya don't like being called a fucktard, you can use the ignore list...

    Do you realize that you are telling me to get over myself, because I have an opinion about you? Do you actually read anything you type?

    You get off on negative attention. How could I not notice you? You couldn't be more apparent if you had dildo's sticking out of your ears and were wearing a tutu.
     
  22. Smoked

    Smoked $5.50? Man fuck the avatar...how about you just sh

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    That's why I put it there.
    Sarcasm is only one of the services I offer.
     
  23. Smoked

    Smoked $5.50? Man fuck the avatar...how about you just sh

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    Were you planning on "getting my back" for me or sumpin?
    WTF?
     
  24. devildoll3584

    devildoll3584 New Member

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    now RedVSBlue is ignored.... sry but nothing he has ever said to me has ever helped me figure out whatever problem i talk about, in any post, and im sick of being attacked and called a slut and basically that everything im doing is wrong
     
  25. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    I've never tried it, but I'd really like to some day. I'm naturally a very jealous person and really hate that about myself. Though I've come a long way, seeing my girlfriend get fucked by another guy would probably be horrible. Yet I feel that it'd be nice to be able to get over something like that in order to feel more secure and not have to stress over it.

    Having your boyfriend deal with that first is a great idea. He should definitely be open to it since that's what he wants. But what if he does decide to do something with the other guy? I think you might have to prepare for that.
     

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