SRS Questions about love, I guess

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by bitetobreakskinn, May 23, 2006.

  1. bitetobreakskinn

    bitetobreakskinn Blinky the Christmas Ghost

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    I've been dating my girlfriend for almost 8 months now, and I love her to death, and I know she feels the same. The problem is I've never felt like I feel with her, and I'm always scared she's going to leave me, or find someone better, etc. Her and I have "jokes" about getting married, living together someday, stuff like that, and she's even staying home this summer instead of going to visit fam in CT (she hates living her), because she doesn't want to be away from me.

    For example, she loves playing around with MySpace (like most people our age do), but it makes me so nervous. I know people use it for fun, but I also know how many guys use it to try to find fuck buddies, or how many girls use it to be slutty. Her picture is a picture of her and me 99% of the time, but I still get nervous as hell about that stuff.

    The other big thing coming up, is that she's going to college (right by my house) in the fall. Her family is strict as hell, and I'm afraid when she gets her "freedom" she's gonna change and be one of those party all the time kind of girls, and I'm gonna lose her that way.



    Anyone know how I can stop worrying about this, or bring it up to her without hurting her feelings, etc. We're each other's first loves, and I know she gets insecure about stuff like this.
     
  2. Quiero_Mas215

    Quiero_Mas215 New Member

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    Do you 2 trust each other?
     
  3. bitetobreakskinn

    bitetobreakskinn Blinky the Christmas Ghost

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    I don't know if she trusts me cause I lied to her in the past, but she's never done anything to me that would make me not trust her, she's even changed things that bothered me if she could to make me not worry.

    She seems like the "perfect" girl, but fuckin OT makes me not trust anyone, plus I had a shitty past (so has she).

    By the time she gets to college, we'll have been together almost a year, and I'm scared that it's gonna be a waste of that year of my life when she gets there and leaves me or something.
     
  4. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    if your scared you don't trust her. Quit trying to make this hard. YOu think she could cheat on you so you clearly don't trust her. Relationships work based on trust. You don't have it so yours will fail over time. Stop making this more complex than it has to be.

    For the record stay away from myspace chicks b/c there attention whores who don't put out.
     
  5. michaele36

    michaele36 New Member

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    I would try to keep this worry to your self. She likes you and if she talks about living together and isnt going to go home in the summer shes into you. Just treat her good and MOST importantly dont act jelious, women can sence that and its a turn off
     
  6. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    Trust is very important. If the trust is very strong in the relationship then their shouldn't be a problem but their obviously is. You should ask her if she trusts you and you should tell her too.

    If you don't have trust and you have jealousy instead then this relationship will be doomed. You must trust her and she must trust you.
     
  7. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    You should settle down. She has done nothing in the past to cause you to think she may do something wrong, and unless she is doing suspicious things, you are being paranoid. That lack of control and lack of self confidence will end up being a turn off so get control of yourself. Settle down. You're fine.
     
  8. SpeedLaci

    SpeedLaci New Member

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    I was in the same position when i started college. We had been together for about 1 1/2 years though. Anyways. Freedom will change anyone, girl or boy. It does. And it changed me, not making me go after other guys or party but just changed my priorities ...but if you are going to be close to her, just make sure your apart of this experience. Dont smother her, but let this be a time where you two grow together rather then apart. Just make sure you play a role in the first couple of months she is there.. that will not only build trust (someting you guys need apparently ) but also it will help her corilate new experiences with you, she will bring you into this new part of her life rather then behind. Dont make it a big deal, because she will feel indimidated, just be very supportive, understanding, and make her want and almost need you in this new chapter of her life.
     
  9. Quiero_Mas215

    Quiero_Mas215 New Member

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    If you started off your relationship lying, you already have issues. First off, you gotta show her she can trust you again. I'm thinking you don't trust her precisely because you lied to her. You're paranoid. You're also showing lack of maturity by blaming OT on why you can't trust your girl. No one can make you feel a certain way about someone. OT is not everyone in the world so don't take everything they say seriously.

    It seems like both of you brought baggage to the relationship and that's where most problems are coming from. Remember she's a different girl. Not your past. And by you acting this way, you'll lose her. You should have taken time on your own to heal, as well as her, since you say she has a bad past, so that you both of you can come clean into a relationship. That baggage is gonna break you.
     
  10. bitetobreakskinn

    bitetobreakskinn Blinky the Christmas Ghost

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    Prob :hs:


    And I'm not BLAMING OT for anything, necessarly. It's just a downer when you here like 100 stories a day about "Oh this girl is such a slut, she cheated on me, etc" and no stories about how someone's relationship is working out great, or other happy stories :o
     
  11. Amaranth

    Amaranth New Member

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    yeah pretty much...myspace chicks never work out...oh how are you and your gf by the way?
     
  12. Quiero_Mas215

    Quiero_Mas215 New Member

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    Again, you are getting yourself down only because you hear negative stuff on OT. Nu uh!! you can't let that affect you.

    BTW, people usually bitch more on OT instead of talking about how happy their relationships are. Cuz that makes them pussys.

    You need to learn to think for yourself. YOUR relationship is SEPARATE from everyone else's. You make it or break it. You really need to learn how NOT to bring that baggage. Seriously, these problems will only persists and escalate if you don't learn to cope with these.

    *Edit
     
    Last edited: May 23, 2006
  13. Amaranth

    Amaranth New Member

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    Pretty much...and you wouldn't be posting in the asylum if everything was fine in the first place
     
  14. bitetobreakskinn

    bitetobreakskinn Blinky the Christmas Ghost

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    I only post here because I wanted to have a serious convo...If I post it on OT, all the "she's a cheating slut" comments come out and shit like that.

    And the rare times I make girlfriend threads in here, are usually when she's not around for me to talk to, and I need someone to vent to.



    And since it's come up a few times, everyone who says "MySpace girls are bad news"...I didn't MEET her on there, I met her when we used to work together almost a year ago now. She got a MySpace while we were dating (maybe 2-3 months in)
     
  15. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    My story is great. I have a great girlfriend who recently became my fiance'. I trust her 100% and don't mind her going out on a girls night without me. The only thing I worry about is her friends like my fiance' to be the designated driver and my fiance' likes to drink too. So I worry about how much she is drinking. Other than that though, she is great.
     
  16. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    People are more likely to share a bad experience than a good one. That's a proven marketing statistic. (link) The other part is that you're looking at the wrong crowd. The main forum is full of people (I'd say kids but they're not all kids! :ugh:) who haven't had a relationship or are on their first one or two and it usually takes a couple before you figure out what really makes a relationship work. Also, the threads that really fly on OT are sensational and not an accurate cross-section of reality. "I just caught my ho-bag GF cheating on me with three of my best friends!" is way more sensational than "I just celebrated the 10th anniversary with the love of my life!"
     
  17. mocha2184

    mocha2184 I have spiral bullets

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    check this out. your feelings towards other people are almost always a reflection of how you feel about yourself.

    You said that you're scared she's going to leave you. You don't trust her on myspace. You're scared she's going to become a party girl when she leaves home.

    Most likely, you are having these doubts because you think that you would act this way if the situation was turned around. You already said that you lied to her in the past. Do you think that if you met an awesome girl on myspace that you'd leave your current gf? Do you think if you were in a situation where you were away from home that you'd become a wild party boy? Most likely, the answers to these questions are yes.

    The problem is not that you don't trust your girl. It is that you don't trust yourself, and therefore you can't truly trust others. You'll always be watching your back because you know if the tables were turned you'd cheat or lie or whatever. The solution is to learn to trust yourself. Once you come to terms with this, your paranoia will fade away.

    On a side note, your fear of losing her is causing you to overanalyze your situation. Drop the feelings of neediness. She's with you now. Be happy for that and don't let your Brain think your way out of the relationship with self-doubt.
     

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