FRK question to anyone who is bi

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by NCS, Feb 13, 2006.

  1. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    i ask this in FS for the mature replies it should get.

    is it possible for someone who is bi to be in a loving monogamous relationship and BE HAPPY? or will you always, after a certain period of time, yearn for the oppisite sex of your s/o?

    in other words can you actually give up either men or women on a permanent basis (no 3somes) and settle down? it would seem that, yes, but i have yet to see it to believe it.
     
  2. DarthKoRn

    DarthKoRn New Member

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    If you really oved the person, and they loved you back, I believe you could find a happy medium to be happy in that relationship. Whether it be your wife throwing on a strap on every once in a while, or your boyfriend dressing up like a girl, or yes, a three some, or allowing them to have sex with the opposite sex.

    My view is, is if I really physically cant provide my loved one with something they want/need, then Im going to help them in being happy. If their happy with me, but need a little pussy on the side, well, I cant give them that, so then Id allow it.
     
  3. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    thats the same as saying if someone likes a fetish but their SO isnt into it, they should let it do it with someone else.

    for example. straight couple:

    Female "honey i don't like anal, why don't you do it with so-and-so over there"

    this is not viewed as good relationship practice... so why allow it in a bi couple
     
  4. YogiBird

    YogiBird New Member

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    It doesn't matter how it is viewed, it matters what makes you and your partner happy/comfortable.

    I am bi and in a long(14 years) and happy relation with my girlfriend, who is

    at least bi-curious.

    We have an open and free relationship, but we agreed that there is one

    restriction, we only have sex with others in each others company.....:naughty:

    Works well for us......:hsd:
     
  5. 12xalt

    12xalt petrolsexual

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    I'm bi and currently have a g/f and a male SO.

    The g/f came into my life first, but she is long distance (and married, and yes her hubby knows and very much approves). The guy I'm seeing did not want me to give up my sexual relationship with her (I'd have never given up my friendship, or dated anyone who would have expected me to).

    they are both very happy with this arrangement, and although at first I felt odd about it, if they are okay and want it to stay that way, then I am okay with it

    however, when it all really comes down to the whole love thing, it's not about the parts for me, it's about the person

    I am not someone with a fondness for overly large cock. Yet, if I met and fell in love with a man who was packing what I considered to be too big of a peice, I would find a way to make it work and I would not be out seeking smaller cock a couple of years down the road.

    same goes for if the person doesn't have a cock at all, if they don't have one, I'm not going to go out after one sometime later on

    if you start looking elsewhere, it has more to do I think with no longer to be with the person you've chosen and wanting to move on to a new relationship
     
  6. imori

    imori Phasma En Machina

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    honestly, this question doesnt make sense to me.

    now, Im perfectly straight, so my view on this may be a little skewed, but basically you are asking if a person is with someone will they start to wonder to other people because that one person is not or will not fullfill some kind of desire for them, right?

    Isnt this a fundamental question and concern of all relationships at some point or another, straight, bi or otherwise? DarthKoRn and NCS are both right - no matter what your orientation its still possible to be in the situation that one partner is not satisfying the other. the OPs question is simply the same issue, just dressed up a little differently.

    so I suppose the answer to your question is in the individual relationship. Some may decide to go outside the relationship with or without the SO's consent, others may come to some compromise and the SO try to accomidate them somehow, or the one with the original desire decides to forgo their wants in favor for who and what they have now. Obviously some of those descisions can be detrimental to the relationship, but if it is, is the relationship really healthy in the first place? wouldnt that mean that the lines of communication at some point were broken down?

    oh well, just the 2 cents of a straight guy. again, take it or leave it.
     
  7. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    Well, all bisexuality means is that one has the potential to be sexually and emotionally attracted to both sexes. It does not mean that one has to have both sexes to be happy. Therefore, from a queer theorist's perspective, it is ridiculous to say that a bisexual will never be happy and content with a single, monogamous relationship.
     
  8. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    very intellingent posts (and i liked all your other posts too, everyone else).

    you found the words for me right here:

    what bothers me, and why i made this post in teh first place is because being bi is too often used as an excuse in response to this
     
  9. FairyTat

    FairyTat Anticipation, the taste of things to cum

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    Exactly! CoCo put it better than I ever could have.

    To me being bisexual means you don't limit your attraction based on gender. It means you're open to finding the right partner for you regardless of sex. It doesn't mean you require either or both. Being monogamous is no more of a struggle for bi-sexuals than it is for anyone else.
     
  10. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    ...right, it's just that a large number of bisexuals use 'bisexuality' as a crutch to being greedy.
     
  11. 12xalt

    12xalt petrolsexual

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    bislutty :p
     
  12. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    :mamoru::mamoru:
     
  13. imori

    imori Phasma En Machina

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    this is true, but then again, if you cheat on your partner - and by cheat, I mean really cheating, not an "open" relationship or when you have your partners consent - you really shouldnt be in a relationship in that relationship in the first place, one way or another.
     
  14. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    :o ...was that a dig at me? If so, ouch...
     
  15. 2500

    2500 Guest

    i'm bi, and i feel it is possible to be happy and not cheat with one or the other. not to sound redundant, but being bi just takes the label off people, and you fall in love with any person, not just one or the other. so, if you are truley happy, that means the relationship fulfills all your needs, and you wouldn't want to mess with anyone else. and, if you do, then the relationship isn't truely happy, cuz your not being fulfilled either emotionally or physically or both. i always wonder what i am gonna do in life, lol. i do really want kids, but i'm not sure for the kids sake i would want to raise a kid in a gay relationship. not to mention the fact i've yet to meet a guy who is remotely relationship material. so, i think in the end i will be with a chic, and, hafta say bye to my bi days, lol. but, if my wife fulfills my life, and makes me 100% happy, i won't mind.
     
  16. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    and this was exactly why the post was made :) . are they all bislutty? cuz i haven't met the other kind yet
     
  17. 12xalt

    12xalt petrolsexual

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    no, we aren't all slutty

    I may have both sexes in my life right now, but I don't consider myself slutty because of it. I'm not sleeping around, hell, I've only ever been with one woman, the one I'm with now.

    however, I don't really see anything wrong with people who are slutty, sluts are good things, people like to get laid, that wouldn't happen nearly as much if sluts didn't exist, gay straight or bi sluts
     
  18. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    :bigthumb: you guys rule
     
  19. imori

    imori Phasma En Machina

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    ummm... not sure how it could be, and I didnt really mean it as a "dig" towards anyone. Sorry if it came off that way.

    Im just saying that anyone who goes out looking for someone else behind their significant others back really shouldnt be in that relationship in the first place. They are clearly not getting what they want and either the relationship will need to change - therefore making it a fundamentally different one - or the relationship needs to end.
     
  20. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    Really? Hmm...
     
  21. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    Well, what age groups are you dating? Because when young, everyone's immature.....ie, slutty. But I've calmed my ass down a bit. Although I'm still a lil slutty with my SO.
     
  22. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    Congrats! :bigthumb:
     
  23. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    Sorry, had an emo moment.

    Maybe this person had a lapse? Maybe this relationship is the first monogamous relationship that this person has EVER had, and after a year of staying true, slipped a lil...

    Everything cannot be so black and white; situational contributors could apply.
     
  24. imori

    imori Phasma En Machina

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    I see your point and, yes, you are absolutely right - not everything is black and white, but I still think that after a moment of infedelity like that, the relationship just simply can not stay the same. At the very least it will be changed by the mere experience of going through that and thats part of what I meant when I said that this person shouldnt be in that relationship - they should either not be in it at all, or be in the one that would include that "lil slip" and change because of it.

    part of this is just me not understanding why a partner cant or wont communicate these feelings. My gf has told me that she has been curious about what its like to sleep with a man other than myself and, yes, I am her first. I understand that feeling. Its natural to feel that way - to be curious and I dont mind that, as long as she communicates with me about it. If she ever wanted to do something with someone else, I would never say "no you cant", but the relationship will have to change one way or another if that is going to happen.
     
  25. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    :bowdown:

    Sheesh. You are so mature for your age.
     

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