Question on whether I should ask this girl out

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by ia_cox, Dec 4, 2007.

  1. ia_cox

    ia_cox Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2006
    Messages:
    1,386
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Iowa City
    There's a girl in one of my classes that at the beginning of the semester was very obviously into me. Always stand/sit close to me, stay late to help me with a couple projects, laugh at all my dumb jokes. She has a very attractive body, but what I worried at the time to be an annoying personality. So I'm only interested in light dating/hooking up, not a relationship.

    Anyway she was into me....but I had a gf at the time. And while that gf was one I wasn't feeling to strongly about I wasn't going to give in to temptation and cheat. So the girl kept giving me signals and signals and I couldn't respond to her; finally one night we were workin late and a friend txted me. She asked "Oo, that your gf?" And like and idiot I confirmed I had one by saying "Nah, she's sleeping". She's been cold to me since. Friendly, but definately tell the change.

    The gf and I have since ended. This situation made me realize that having a relationship in college is limiting, and I just don't want that. I'm wondering now if you think there's anyway I could get this girl interested again. My friend suggested somehting like this "Hey, that girl and I broke up, partially because I couldn't stop thinking about you. Would you like to get some coffee?". I know being direct and confident is a major plus, but do you guys have any other ideas? Or is it too late...

    I might add she also now talks about a "guy she dates". Not her bf, but just someone she dates. I have no other info on him.

    Thanks.
     
  2. UNvisible

    UNvisible New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2003
    Messages:
    77,435
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    texas/colorado
    yes, ask her out.

    When she asks about your gf, say it's over. Leave it at that.

    Take her out, try her on for size. Maybe you can talk about eachother's relationships over coffee to figure out where each of you stand :o
     
  3. ia_cox

    ia_cox Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2006
    Messages:
    1,386
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Iowa City
    talk about each other's relationships while on a date? That doesn't sound like that good of an idea...

    but then again if you've been successful with it
     
  4. Doc Love

    Doc Love Guest

    You mad dumb, son.
     
  5. ia_cox

    ia_cox Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2006
    Messages:
    1,386
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Iowa City
    :ugh2: that's honestly all I've ever seen you post
     
  6. Aronomy

    Aronomy Get your COME ON!

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2006
    Messages:
    1,797
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Clemente, CA
    Show her some interest, if she doesn't show any back, move on to the next girl.
     
  7. UNvisible

    UNvisible New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2003
    Messages:
    77,435
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    texas/colorado
    lol i didnt mean make it your only discussion, but it's bound to come up if he's taking her out and she knows he has/had a girlfriend.
     
  8. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

    Joined:
    May 14, 2005
    Messages:
    15,613
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Francisco
    don't say you broke up with your gf because of this new girl.
    it'll just complicate things.
     
  9. kiri

    kiri New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2006
    Messages:
    25,186
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Miami, FL
    don't say all that stuff about "i couldn't stop thinking about you," instead just ask her if she wants to hang out outside of class sometime and see how she responds.
     
  10. ia_cox

    ia_cox Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2006
    Messages:
    1,386
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Iowa City
    she seems pretty cold to me now. It going to be a slaughter if I try?
     
  11. forgotmyname

    forgotmyname Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2007
    Messages:
    13,959
    Likes Received:
    0
    Honestly, I don't think that line is going to work. In my experience, flat out telling girls that you like them is only going to put you on last place. You need to build some tension and attraction between you. Keep her in suspense by asking her out for coffee or something else.

    But you said the girl liked you. That's good for you. Not necessarily for me, as things don't tend to get easy. In my case, there is a probability the girl is going to turn into a total bitch by giving her attention and that.

    But keep us updated about your situation so I can learn some tips too.

    Of course, ask her out.
     
  12. think

    think Champion of the sun

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2007
    Messages:
    488
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    lil rhody
    yea just go for it theres isnt to big a problem if she says no. your just back to where you are now
     
  13. kiri

    kiri New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2006
    Messages:
    25,186
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Miami, FL
    well if she's seeing some other dude then maybe she's totally not interested. the only way to know for sure is to ask her... but if you're getting bad vibes then don't :dunno: if you still want to then ask her, but don't feel bad if you get rejected.
     
  14. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    i agree. it's simpler than that though. saying i couldn't stop thinking about you to someone that early on is just over-rewarding them.

    people need to feel like they deserve the rewards they get, and there's no way she can possibly feel she has warranted this kind of reward ("i couldn't stop thinking about you").

    by the same token, if she feels she has warranted this kind of feeling (i.e. she impressed you sexually and other such things), she will get giddy when you drop this reward.

    it's not the line itself, it's the timing of the line
     
  15. ia_cox

    ia_cox Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2006
    Messages:
    1,386
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Iowa City
    i understand. I just was impressed by this idea because it showed confidence and no fear to talk to her and express myself.

    I'll let you know if anything happens. End of semester right now so I don't know if I'm going to give it any attention until after break.
     
  16. ballerman230

    ballerman230 just a pale blue dot

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2001
    Messages:
    1,890
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    SF Bay Area
    I really like the way you put that. Something about it just really hits home for me. :bowdown:
     

Share This Page